5mo ago

This might not be too far off

121 comments

Inventory is stored in the cubes

This is one of those movies I will only learn about through memes.
- ive experienced this effect with the movie titanic
  never seen it, know the entire plot through memes/parody
  
  Titanic is actually worth a watch though. Whereas for Minecraft, I found even the teaser to be a challenge.
  
  Titanic is fantastic. You watch the movie completely ready for the ship to crash. But at some point, your brain stops and you're more invested in the characters. Then boom, motherfucking iceberg.
  True Lies, another James Cameron movie, does that twist too. Where you watch it for one thing, then surprise, you're now invested in another thing.
  
  Titanic was a good movie though mostly.
  Wtf are they gonna do with blocks?
  
  Me with the entire Star Wars franchise, Harry Potter and The Lord of the rings
  
  No you don't. You only know about flying and French girls. You don't know anything else about the rest of the movie.
- I was thinking about this recently. There's a lot of bad movies that come out every year since forever. Usually, they just kind of disappear and die.
  But only thanks to social media have we had a way to mock the studio.
  I'm just imagining the memes made of bad movies from the 2000s.
  
  Back then you had to wait for the SNL or MAD skit or Weird Al to make a song.
  
  Welcome .. to Jurassic Park
  Recorder noises
- I love the part where Steve says, “IT’S MININ’ TIME!”
- Sufficient

Surely they're his blocks
- "Oof. Right in the blocks"
  "What a load of absolute blocks"
  "It's the dog's blocks"
  Camera zoom into extreme closeup. "oh... blocks".
  Yep, that's the one.
  
  Cubic warming is getting out of hand, I swear! I'm sweating my blocks off.
- Only in the British version.
  
  Look at this bloke's blocks!

truly the low hanging fruit of a joke
- Whoever wrote it should get the sack.
  
  Eh, don't get twisted up about it. They took a crack at it, that's what counts. Some times you have to feel around for the right joke.
  
  Certainly nut the most creative joke
- Low hanging cube you mean
  
  Your joke but worse.jpg
- It certainly is

I could go either way on this one. There's no great cache of lore to betray, and everybody already sort of plays Minecraft how they want. It actually could work as a fairly generic but charming Jumanji clone.
It could also suck donkey cubes. I'm just saying the licensed IP isn't really going to make or break this one.
- The few bits of lore that exist are probably going to be fumbled. I really do hope they do just have herobrine in the background of some scene. The trailer looks like they are going all in on hoglins, which I'm completely meh on. Endermen are probably too scary for a little kid movie tho.
  
  Not those guys who melt in the rain and can be dealt with by sloshing a bucket of water on them! Or just standing under a low overhang...
  Even the Daleks eventually figured out how to fly up stairs.

And I will laugh ( if I watch it)
- It's a movie with jack black, you watch!

Naw, it'll just play a metal-hitting-metal sound effect, he'll brief make eye contact with the camera, give a little smirk, and the scene will continue with no further acknowledgement.
- Gotta be the anvil sound.
  
  YES!

Probably a pixelation joke too for nudity that the kids won't get but the adults will.

Look at the brass cubes on this guy!

We're really achieving the prophecy that is Idiocracy.
- Idiocracy is the 1984 for film nerds
- On the bright side we do end up with president Camacho in that timeline.
  
  At least Camacho was smart enough to listen to the world's smartest person's advice.
  
  Bitch better have my money…
- Black is just playing his character from Tropic Thunder.
- Note that Idiocracy and Youtube premiered around the same time...

Sounds too close to pubes so they may say blocks instead

I think you are being too optimistic.......

Remember when JB said, "I blacked out. Did something important happen?" in borderlands.
Me either, but he did, and we're gonna get that joke again too.
- I don't but if i had i would have used that line with my friends when the credits rolled

Dunno why people would criticize Black’s characters in film. I mean, that’s what he does. Same as Sandler, Ferrell, or any of the rest of the low hanging fruit, cringe, or bro-humor comedy actors. I wouldn’t go to a movie with Jack Black in it and expect Shawshank Redemption.
- That being said, Sandler and Ferrell do some amazing serious stuff.
  
  They can, absolutely. However it’s just not the norm.
  
  Watch Bernie if you want to see Black do a different take. His character is quirky, but there's a lot of depth to him as well.
- I do wish we got to see Black use a little more of his range because he can deliver a nuanced comedic character too.
  I really, really liked his performance in Bernie. He was silly, but there was also a simultaneous depression, fear, and darkness in his performance.
- Jack Black was actually really great in a serious acting role in Bernie
- I wouldn't expect Shawshank Redemption, but I also wouldn't be surprised if that's what was delivered

I'm looking forward to the part where his character's best friend says "please don't miss next time," and then he never talks to his friend again even though they were equally important to the plot up until that moment

And I'm gonna giggle like a little girl when it happens.

I dont get it.
- The joke is that the more right angles a shape has the funnier it is.
  
  Ouch my bismuth!

That username is great! Sunny Day Real Estate is one of my favorite bands.

Ack! My voxels!

That would be the best joke of his career

Pics or it didn't happen? (Will that work? We'll find out!:-)

I would not take this bet.

In the post credits, I'm on it.

What's with all the 40 year olds in basements bitching about this movie? It's not for you dude
- Most people don't want their kids eating slop all the time.
  Beyond that Minecraft is a considerably old game now, especially if you got into it in the very early days. It shouldn't be surprising that there are older people paying attention to this.
  I was in notch's old threads on /v/ in the very beginning back as a young teen (yes 4chan, I was totally 18 years old, pinky swear). I'm in my 30s and have a kid now who is too young to play, but I will probably introduce her at an appropriate age if she likes computer games.
  I'm not raging or anything, but I'm definitely paying attention enough to know if this movie is garbage to steer my kid away from in the future.
  
  I was an adult when Minecraft was new and I played the shit out of it back then.
- Who do you think is buying the movie tickets? Is your little cousin gonna smash his piggy bank and pay the $35 ticket with his leftover pennies and nickels?
  It's adults. Adults pay to watch the movies. I'd happily pay to watch Shrek again in theaters.
  
  Lol parents are paying. And parents don't give a single shit if the movie the kids want to see is good or not, we expect the worst. We sat through the emoji movie and every Minion thrown at us.
  I doubt you have kids so you're not paying for anything here.
  Besides stop acting like you're funding the movie and demand returns. If you don't wanna see it don't. Show them your disdain by withholding your money. But don't get mad when it's a big hit with kids and it makes a fortune.
  
  Yeah, but they pay for their kids to watch. Similar to how adults will happily pay to send their kids to summer camp: it's mindless daycare and the adults get to switch off for a while.
- Plenty of non 30+ years old have the same complaints, we just happen to be on a platform that not a lot of young people use.
  
  All my nephews/nieces and my own kids can't wait to see it. So clearly it's working for the demographic it's targeted at. You're not the target audience. Additionally this is Minecraft ffs, not metal Gear solid.
- If they do not kill an Ender Dragon by dying 40 times with unenchanted armor trying to blow up those things on the obsidian towers, I WILL SET FIRE TO THE THEATER!!!!!!!! RESPECT MY GAMING EXPERIENCE!!!!!!!
  
  I have played Minecraft for maybe only like 50 hours, and I've never done anything but just free build with no purpose, enemies or anything. I just use the game to build stuff that pops into my head. I've never actually played it to fight monsters or story mode or anything
  
  Meanwhile every Minecraft youtuber: beats the dragon in twenty minutes Okay, now we can get started...

121 comments