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The Picard Maneuver @lemmy.world

5mo ago

Reaching a new level of cocky

66 comments

581 miles? You can still see a Buc-Ees in the rearview at that distance.
- I see you're a flat-earther
  
  No, you just underestimate the size of a buc-ees.
  
  Have you been to a Buc-Ees?
  Hundreds of pumps. It's a goddamned ocean of concrete and steel. You can use the main building as a shelter for a mid-sized town and have enough bathrooms. It's a fucking department store serving as a gas station.
  They're goddamned massive.
- Maybe by car it's just around the corner, but walking it's 581 miles.
  
  “I would walk 581 miles, and I would walk 581 more” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Buc-ees is serious business though.
- I randomly went to one a few weeks ago thinking it was just a truck stop. I was not prepared for that.
  
  I’ve never been. What’s it all about?

- Also this bit from The Simpsons

It’s good advertising. People see the funny billboard and snap a pic for social media.

But ... but why?
- Advertising. If they didn't do that people wouldn't have posted pictures of it on social media.
- It's a destination "gas station". There's a restaurant called Lamberts that sort of does the same thing.
  
  I'm not even sure what a "destination gas station" means. I see some big ones on our road trips, and all I ever do is stop at whatever one has a reasonable price, then take off.
  Who are these for?
- Best poop you’ll have on the road!
- It’s an institution around these parts and they don’t want you to forget it.

There's one in Arizona heading north between Phoenix and Tucson that says 951 miles behind you.

Wall Drugs Store, South Dakota
- When my family went to see Mount Rushmore, I didn't know what Wall Drugs was. That changed as soon as we hit the state line. Those guys must have more billboards than Alexander Shunnarah.
  
  I think by the time you're halfway though the state, you become slightly brainwashed hahaha

"You will soon enter the state of Texas. Have you considered not doing that?"
- With the u-turn it implies they are doing the right thing and leaving Texas.

this is what Americans call "just around the corner"
- Just an average commute.

Posting advertising today I see

This guy has never heard of South of the Border…

Just gonna make a quick pit-stop
- Aaaaaand we're broke... But I got 4 pairs of pajamas, 10 hats, 7 shirts, and 32 bandanas all with cartoon beavers on them. I also got us 14lbs of our favorite jerky, 6lbs of the jerky we always forget we don't like, and 8 different kinds of barbecue sandwiches and wraps. And some Beaver Nuggets.
  If everything goes according to plan, we should have enough diarrhea and constipation to wreck every Pilot bathroom from here to El Paso
  
  This guy Buc-ee's ☝️
  
  No coolers, pie fillings, home decor, or kolaches? You didn't buy a rocking chair or a grill while you were there? Are you sure it was even Buc-ees?

Beavery

That's not cocky, you're just in the middle of fuck-all nowhere. That Bucees's was the last gas station and you missed it.

Those beaver nuggets are the real deal.

Bucc-ee's is love, Bucc-ee's is life. The curse is real. I passed one without stopping and 15 minutes later, a rock shattered my windshield.

I'd never heard of Buc-ees, and now I see that's because they're only in Texas. The only time I've been there, besides in an airport for a layover, was in 2014 when I drove on the 40 through Amarillo. According to Google maps, there is a (closed) Bucc-ees on the 40, but it looks like it was built very recently as it isn't there in 2023, the latest images on there.
- They're spreading to states near Texas. Like a cancer that is, admittedly, nicer than most rest stops but is still just some fucking brand that reminds you the average person is a programmed chimp for making any kind of deal out of them.
  
  I looked up some pictures of them and they are admittedly a spectacle, unmistakably American.
- Um, there's way more than just Texas.
  They're also in AL, CO, FL, GA, KY, MO, SC, and TN
  
  NC is having one built soon

Because America is so expansive the next Buc-ees in that direction is probably 800 miles away.

People are crazy for bucees. It's a road trip staple. It wouldn't surprise me if the idea behind this is to get people to reroute their road trips next time just to stop at bucees.

The barbecue is good, but that sauce is way too sweet. I need to try the burritos. Those fresh tortillas look 🔥

66 comments