askchapo @hexbear.net UlyssesT [he/him] @hexbear.net 3 mo. ago

What are some lingering Redditisms, or generally annoying internet conversation trends, that you wish would end already?

Redditism 1: "It's the internet. You are allowed to swear." young-sheldon

I hate when some very grown-ass adult says that because someone didn't cuss enough for their taste. I swear all the time in my posts here but I still find that shit really, really tryhard and it seems more immature than not saying the naughty word to me.

Redditism 2: Ending a rebuke with a question mark when it's not a question to make it sound extra snippy.

I've heard this being compared to a "vocal fry" and maybe it is, and coming from CA, vocal fries were often said out loud as a form of subtle hostility toward people perceived as lessers, such as retail and restaurant workers. If you need an example of what I'm talking about, it usually goes something like this:

Poster: "I think (opinion)." i-think-that

Redditism enjoyer: "You're wrong?" smuglord

Redditism 3: "Do you need help? Who hurt you? Help is available if you need it, buddy!" heated-gamer-moment

This one is the worst one I can think of right now because it contaminates even the very possibility of showing sincere care and concern for someone else. It comes loaded with the implication that the person that was "hurt" or "needs help" is fundamentally wrong and should shut up. Fuck that ableist shit, forever. guts-rage

94 comments

I don't know why, but "this is the way" bothers the fuck out of me. Might as well clap like a seal and go "THIS".
- It's "THIS", edition tho
  
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  The (person pointing up) "THIS" that i hate the most.
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  "Hey Redditor"
- "this is the way" bothers the fuck out of me. Might as well clap like a seal and go "THIS".
  
  Alright, let's try...
  
  47:4 When you meet the disbelievers in battle, strike them in the neck, and once they are defeated, bind any captives firmly — later you can release them by grace or ransom — until the toils of war have ended.
  
  ☝️ THIS!! ☝️
  
  Allah could have defeated them Himself if He had willed, but His purpose is to test some of you by means of others.
  
  ...I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't think it hits quite the same.
Generic ass joke

Edit: didn't think this would blow up

Edit 2: thanks for the gold kind stranger
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(...) is bad, actually

Someone posted a Shinzo Abe death meme on twitter, then came the 'Making fun of someone's death is bad, actually' civility lib

spoiler

lmao I just got this tagline
- "[thing] is [bad/good], actually" is a pretty good stilted sardonic line, especially for making fun of libs. Good things are bad, actually. Bad things are good, actually. Actively sabotaging yourself and trying to collaborate with your ontologically evil opposition is just smart political strategy, actually.
  
  It's just so awkward and bad it really just brings the rest of it together.
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  😔
- Had a bunch of shitlibs on instagram posting about how we should care about trump's assassination attempt. Called one of them out on it and she reported me lmao
I just generally wish Reddit would die. And everything associated with it. Fuck Reddit forever.
- yeah also im really digging this hybrid forum-style thing we are developing into
It's not solely a reddit ism and I'm not immune from doing similar things but when it's just the same tired jokes over and over in reply to articles or whatever.

Like say it's an article about Russia doing anything and invariably there's a homophobic joke about Trump and Putin being gay together. Again and again. Over and over. Like watching a train pass by where every car looks the same.
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  I did nazi that coming.
  
  That quip is so old, worn out, and predictable that I audibly moan in annoyance when I see it.
- I do not understand how people enjoy r*ddit "humor." It's the same jokes non-stop. They will beat a dead horse years after it died. Almost every "joke" discussion turns into:
  
  References to The Office
  
  References to The Sopranos
  
  Attack helicopter copy pasta "did you assume my ____?"
  
  Drumpf Pootin Winnie the Pooh
  
  Song lyrics
  
  "I also choose this guy's ____."
  
  Mom helps son masturbate "help me step bro I'm stuck"
  
  It's almost a guarantee any non-serious topic will devolve into one of the above topics and will go on for dozens of comments.
  
  It's particularly infuriating when you're scrolling to get a source and it's just those same jokes endlessly.
  
  And it's been this way for a decade!
- Like watching a train pass by where every car looks the same.
  
  Those are called unit trains and they mostly suck ass for the environment but are highly profitable for the railroads because they don't have to do a lot of switching and are typically sent to just a few customers. Examples include coal trains and oil trains. Grain trains are kind of ok, but the coal and oil must stop.
First!
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  Firstposting is sacred and you will pry it from my cold dead hands
A reference to something is not a joke. Monty Python et al isn't funny outside of context.
- Amber
  
  I dream of a society where I would be gulliotined as a poster
  
  Amber.
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Nothing you see on the internet is real. I mean this. Even if you have video of something, video and audio can be altered. Conversations can be edited to take things out of context. What especially is not real are comments by anonymous posters that are walls of text without any pictures, videos, or third party sources. R•dditors will gobble up anything they see. Absolutely nothing in whatever "Am I the parental legal relationship finance ask me about Bill Gates" subs are real. I hate they accept it as real. I hate they have hundreds of comments discussing these things that aren't real. I hate how it creates feedback loops for reactionaries to post as evidence of something being real when it's not. Pics related:

Their humor is awful.

Every sub is astroturfed or a government psyop, but they will pretend like their sub is not. Any fandom, hobby, or whatever niche will always have corporate stooges posting on behalf of the company. Any criticism of anything in those topics will be attacked with vitriol and real users will join the side of the stooges. Hall monitor getting buddy buddy with the campus cops energy.

Their taste in art is awful. R•dditors will only go bazinga for paintings of attractive women, pop culture shit, and "realistic" art. Any abstract art or art with historical significance is frowned upon. Any experiments people do in niche communities are given contempt. The truth is, their taste is completely kitsch. Your aunt with Bettie Boop posters and Minions furniture has more artistic sense.

Their taste in music is awful.

They are deeply unserious about film. Yes, Requiem for a Dream is disturbing. No, it is not the most disturbing thing ever filmed. I'm not trying to be an edgelord. I just think Come and See, Antichrist, or Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer are all more messed up than two women sharing a double dildo. Also Quinton Tarantino is a hack.

Referring to r•ddit outside of r•ddit. YouTube comments do not link to anything when you write "r/whoosh." There was nothing to be gained by adding "r/" other than making yourself look like a dipshit. Nobody on Instagram understands your stupid fucking bacon whale joke or whatever the fuck.

They are flat-out wrong about so much shit I cannot believe others believe what is being said. For example, they will make predictions on Pokémon cards for people to "invest" in and end up getting dunked on by Nintendo or whoever runs Pokémon right now. But nobody learns the site is full of shit and they will continue to lose money. Hint: collectibles have never been good investments.

That's all I have for now. I do not go to that site. I've never had an account there. Occasionally in the past I'd stumble onto something from searching, but that was enough exposure to make me hate the site. Unfortunately, they have spread to other parts of the internet and exposed us all to brainworms.
- A Serbian film was the most disturbing film for me. Not in a way that had me thinking for days like come and see and the other films you listed but in a "did this motherfucker really put that shit in there?"
  
  I've never seen it and don't want to. I know about the ending and whatnot, though. I think even putting it to film was more messed up than RFAD. A group of people wrote it up, showed it to other people, and they all decided "Yup! This is what we're gonna spend thousands of dollars to film!"
  
  Honestly the worst part about Requiem was the stuff with the older lady on dieting pills. You have to worry about elderly people isolated from the outside world plummeting into psychosis.
- Nothing you see on the internet is real. I mean this. Even if you have video of something, video and audio can be altered. Conversations can be edited to take things out of context. What especially is not real are comments by anonymous posters that are walls of text without any pictures, videos, or third party sources. R•dditors will gobble up anything they see. Absolutely nothing in whatever "Am I the parental legal relationship finance ask me about Bill Gates" subs are real. I hate they accept it as real. I hate they have hundreds of comments discussing these things that aren't real. I hate how it creates feedback loops for reactionaries to post as evidence of something being real when it's not. Pics related:
  
  People here legit had a struggle session over fake shit from that relationship advice subreddit.
- A lot of people who post on reddit are kids. I was posting on reddit when I was 14 back in 2015.
[occupation] here, can confirm.
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"shut up and take my money"

Just say you think the thing is cool and want to buy it
Citing any of these

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fallacies#Formal_fallacies
- God I remember when I was 14 or something, this wasn't on Reddit but I inexplicably became fascinated by pointing out fallacies. It did not take long before people told me I was being incredibly annoying, clearly not understanding what I was talking about, not contributing anything meaningful to any discussion, and just generally being a smartass making a fool of myself.
  
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- The ones that really make my eye really twitch are:
  
  Ad hominem fallacy
  
  It's not a formal debate and ad hominem isn't some fancy Latin term for an insult. Imagine if someone's response to being insulted was "You just insulted me!"; yes, you got insulted. Congrats on figuring that out all by yourself.
  
  No True Scotsman
  
  This one comes up so damn often when a person establishes a definition. "You cannot be a pacifist and support the death penalty" kinda thing. It comes up most often in discussions about socialism/communism from the mouths of reactionaries. The NTS fallacy is inherently tautological by its definition; it must be something where the definition is used to dismiss evidence to the contrary. "No human being is taller than 3m" is not committing the NTS fallacy. If someone said "No human being is taller than 2.5m" and someone responded "But Robert Wadlow was over 2.7m" and the reply was "Well that means he wasn't human" that is the NTS fallacy. Otherwise every definition ever, and in fact every word ever, would be guilty of the fallacy as every single one of those necessarily excludes something.
  
  Red Herring fallacy
  
  This one comes up less often but it's just as obnoxious. You aren't having a formal debate and there is no explicit agreement about the bounds of the discussion. Anyone can bring anything up. If you don't understand why something is irrelevant then that's on you, you can ask. If something is completely irrelevant then you can just say "That's irrelevant" or you can ignore it.
  
  Remember that one kid who would kick a ball around with your group and they'd always try and rules lawyer someone being out of bounds when everyone else is like "Bruh. We're just kicking a ball around for fun. There is no field, there are no painted lines, there is no umpire. Chill out."? This has the same energy.
- Ummm, ackshually, people are only bothered by enlightened intellectuals pointing out their logical fallacies because it sheds to light their flawed reasoning and makes people defensive about how dumb they are.
starting every post with "I mean, <statement>."

I know what you mean, you don't need to start every post with it! Just state your statement that you were already going to do.

You can Ctrl + F "I mean" in every reddit thread and come back with 50 results it's so widespread and I hate it! Biggest pet peeve for me lol.
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- I'm with you on this one. It's intended as a sort of, "we all know this but don't say it," or similar, but always just comes off as condescending to me. Maybe because it's so often applied to statements that are in fact known and acknowledged.
  
  "Unpopular opinon"
  
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- "it's almost as if..."
  
  This is Twitterbrain I think and drives me up the wall too, you're not alone
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"It's the internet. You are allowed to swear."

I think people only say that though when people swear but censor their swearing i.e. "f*ck", which, imo, is very silly to do, like, no more half measures, walter
- I honestly don't care when people censor their swears. Honestly I think it can add something to written text depending on the context. It's like an exclamation point in the middle of a word.
  
  What I cannot stand is people saying "it's ok to swear in the internet". No fucking shit. It's also ok not to swear on the internet you f*cking baby.
  
  I think it's funny when someone censors a word that isn't normally considered a swear for comedic effect, like "Fr*nch".
  
  I honestly don't care when people censor their swears
  
  that's your opinion and I disagree because I do care because I think it's dumb because I disrespect the entire notion of "swear words" as sacrosanct, inviolable constructs
  
  I lost a job because I was swearing as an expression of my very human emotions of frustration and someone who was entirely unrelated to this, dozens of feet away, only overhearing these words, was so offended they reported me, and that is a culture I think must be erased from the earth (AND CENSORING SWEARS ONLINE IS A GATEWAY)
  
  Is this an American thing? I've never seen the level of concern about 'swears' or 'cussing'
  
  I assume it's not a Br*tish thing
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I think most of these things ITT are fine when people here do them. the grossness really seems to be associated with the culture of reddit and worse sites.

Sesursoj can have a little repetitive language, as a treat
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  I was speaking more to the comments, "You're Wrong?" is the only one of yours that has a good utility, redditors just overuse it with false confidence so it doesn't land.
  
  but responding to something that's very verbosely incorrect with a terse correction like that can be very funny
- Agreed. This thread has happened before and it's mostly arbitrary ways to say things that have nothing to do with Reddit.
- Sesursoj
  
  Sesursoj is YOU
Beginning a post with "Eh," means I can safely disregard whatever contrarian take to follow
- I do that all the time at work when I hear a lib take.
  
  "Kkkamala is gonna tax unrealized gains!!"
  
  "Eh, she's not gonna do it while also having a lower capital gains tax than Reagan, as well as wanting to build trump's wall, she really is pushing the same policies trump was in 2016, they said he was a threat to democracy but she isn't somehow?"
  
  Then they start asking why I'm defending trump..
  
  I'm fairly certain most people I work with think I'm a Trumper without ever having mentioned him or ever saying anything about him in particular
Most things commonly perceived as "redditisms" are actually just normal expressions used frequently in everyday life.
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I think the general tendency of taking something mildly funny and grinding it into a flavorless paste. The demure and mindful thing that's making the rounds right now springs to mind.
I'm going to give you a single word

spoiler

ACTUALLY
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- Well Actually was something I always associated with 4cha nazis because the biggest 4chan nazi in my social circles entered almost every conversation with it. I swear I once counted one and a half weeks of him not entering conversations any other way
I keep seeing this sentiment expressed after some nerd drops a link to something bad or unpleasant, where people reply to it with "what a bad day to have eyes" or "what a horrible time to know how to read." I understand having a visceral reaction to distressing content, but taking the time to express that in a cliché internet slogan is very odd to me, almost feels like a psyop to help people cope with being told disturbing things are happening with empty acknowledgment.
digg dot com
"That's an insult to ___"
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You pose an idea, and they reply with the most defeatist, least constructive criticism, something that is easily fixed with 2 seconds thought.

"We should have a public pool"
"What if kids fall in and drown?? Clearly we cannot have a pool"

Like do I really have to suggest a fence? It's so exhausting.
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uh oh, I do so many of the things in this thread. Now I'll never become a beloved hexbear microcelebrity :(
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Redditism 1: "It's the internet. You are allowed to swear."

I hate when some very grown-ass adult says that because someone didn't cuss enough for their taste. I swear all the time in my posts here but I still find that shit really, really tryhard and it seems more immature than not saying the naughty word to me.

Listen. I like to swear and I swear a lot. If someone doesn't want to swear, ok, that's not their way of expressing, but I want my right to be angry as fuck and swear because I am angry. So what if I am grown ass adult? I mean, kids shouldn't swear, but if I as adult will be called out or censored because I want to tell that, for example, Kamala should go fuck herself for financing the genocide, then something isn't right. Unfortunately, I will never see her face to face to tell her that in her face, so the internet is the only way to send that message to the void. You wanna tell me she doesn't deserve it? Or Trump? Or Putin? Or Netanyahu? Come on. They deserve worse than "fuck you".

In the end, wtf are we talking about here, are we really going to tell people what they can or can't say? If someone wants to swear, let him swear. The internet is an awesome place for that because IRL sometimes you should and need to suppress that need to send someone to their mother's pussy.

The other thing about grown ass adults swearing and acting like immature fools, just go and see Taiwan parliament, lol.

Anger and fury are best expresses through swearing and if you came to my country, you would faint when you'd hear how creative we are in swearing. 😁

But Norwegians are the cutest. Their only cuss word is helvete. 🥹

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