i cook-a da pizza! i want tim walz-a to drop out! ohhhh!

is apt because it's from an episode of Sopranos where they were mad about people protesting Columbus day lol
Also fuck Christopher Columbus. He was a genocidal, racist piece of shit even for his time.
- I had a based as fuck history teacher and when I told her "This guy sure seemed to kill a lot of people in the new world" she was like "Well, it's complex, but if you were to google it you'd find a lot of historians agreeing". Which obviously I did to feel like a smart boy back then and going off that probably sparked a life long personality trait of going "This official version is probably wrong as fuck" as a baseline
  Shout out Mrs. B, you knew what you were doing
  
  AIways crazy how quickly learning accurate history eliminates patriotism.
  Like when I was 15 and came back from a mission trip to Nicaragua (I know, white colonizers but i was a dewey eyed 15 year old literal boy scout and the mission had open health clinics for the community it was in and repeatedly told people not to take a bunch of selfies with random locals to talk about all the good work you were doing). Got back and was like "why the hell is Nicaragua in such a shitty place politically" and then 40 minutes of reading later I arrived at "death to america" and never looked back.
- nooooo you can’t judge historical actors by contemporary morality
  Uh, how about the priest the Spanish court sent to see what he was up to who listed all of the monstrous shit he did?
  
  Right? It's always BS. there have always been people who recognized that hurting and enslaving others was fucked up. There's no point in recorded history where there weren't people who would have agreed that some of the shit their neighbors were doing is fucked up.
- And a huge fucking dumbass.
  The whole mythos that nobody knew what was over there is bullshit but it would be pretty hard to lionize a guy who had the bright idea to get to Mexico by leaving Arizona travelling north.
- Typical Italians; Demanding to be represented by a murderous slaver who was dragged back to Europe in chains because he was too violent and cruel for even European proto-colonizers to stomach.
- Even better, in that same conversation the guy from Italy is like, "you know, people in the south don't like Columbus. They don't like the north. The north punishes the south. Fuck the north."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Italian-American_Civil_Rights_League
The Italian-American Civil Rights League (IACRL) was originally formed as a political advocacy group created in New York City in April 1970. William Santoro, a defense attorney that represented many Colombo crime family figures, was responsible for the legal work that incorporated the league. Its stated goal was to combat pejorative stereotypes about Italian-Americans, but in actuality, it operated as a public relations firm to deny the existence of the American Mafia and improve the image of mobsters.
Indistinguishable from a bit, this is incredible
- Colombo crime family
  oh my fcking god
  was an italian psyop

roving mobs
Oh, so now you don't like mobs
- It’s funny because Columbus Day was created to placate Italians after Italians were frequently killed by American lynch mobs. Not only is Columbus a piece of shit, but the entire holiday should be denounced for being an actual tool to erase Italian culture and their history of being victims to the American menace.
  So much of the “diversity” that the US celebrates is the result of massacring people then appropriating their culture when it became profitable/politically useful, then erasing those massacres from history.

real
from Mr Crispy

this is fucking spectacular comedy

indigenous activists, and other anti Italian American sympathizers
- I felt a little bad laughing at all the comments in this thread until I saw this part.

Eternal reminder that back in the day Italian citizens groups trying to promote the idea that Italians were "real Americans" picked Columbus out of a hat because he was the only important Italian (he is not) anyone could think of that had anything to do with the US. He was an actual DEI hire. They formed groups like the Knights of Colombus and that's basically the only reason anyone in contemporary American knows or cares who Colombus was.
- Knights of Colombus
  I legitimately thought they were a white supremacist group that originated in Columbus,OH until now
  
  For a minute they fought the KKK
- he was such a vile rapist that his own men reported him to the crown
  imagine being so awful that a bunch sailors in the 1400s were like "yo wtf" and told on your ass to the aristocracy who were the absolute most lecherous and debaucherous bunch imaginable and even they though "yo wtf is wrong with you"
- because he was the only important Italian (he is not) anyone could think of that had anything to do with the US
  lmao they must have forgot where the name "America" came from then.

murder is bad actually
if you're a POS (person of spaghetti) you deserve to be drug out into the street and shot

this is fake. real communiques from these people are sent by fax from a Best Western in Paramus and are very distorted from being covered in greasy fingerprints and globs of tomato sauce.

Holy macaroni what on Earth is going on

Yeah a guy hired by the Spanish crown who never stepped foot on the mainland is super important to Italian-American culture. If they want an explorer figure to venerate, Giovanni de Verrazzano makes way more sense as he explored most of the east coast.

they're really desperate for something to stick like the couch thing
- Wouldn't be surprised if this thing was engineered by the democrats to make walz seem cooler than he is. I can imagine some zoomer staffer coming up with this and purposely riling up their elderly italian uncle at the IACRL.

I eata-da-Crispi Pizza!!

From Breakfast of Champions, by Kurt Vonnegut: "Teachers of children in the United States of America wrote this date on blackboards again and again, and asked the children to memorize it with pride and joy:
"1492
"The teachers told the children that this was when their continent was discovered by human beings. Actually, millions of human beings were already living full and imaginative lives on the continent in 1492. That was simply the year in which sea pirates began to cheat and rob and kill them. Here is another piece of evil nonsense which children were taught: that the sea pirates eventually created a government which became a beacon of freedom to human beings everywhere else."

oooh mama mia! Somebody a toucha his spagget!
- ehhhhyyyy... it's'a da'spicey meat'a ball! It's'a gotta' finger hole innit!

oh! they're callin me a fuckin colonizer, and what's worse, they're sayin it's weird! get the fuck outta here

Oh, ey, I'm walzin' here!

anglos will say anything in order to feel like part of an oppressed group.
- I think Italian Americans would qualify as Angloids (in the anthropological sense) and not Anglos proper.
  
  Don’t give them that, they will use it to fake oppression.

live audio of the statues being removed
- Live video
  
  I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
  yewtu.be
  inv.nadeko.net
  yt.artemislena.eu
  piped.video
- I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
  yewtu.be
  inv.nadeko.net
  yt.artemislena.eu
  piped.video

The Republican party is a psyop to make the Dems look good

"They tore down the Columbus statue! (Also they apparently killed two people or something idk whatever)"

idk maybe this guy's alright after all

I'm gonna take a page out of the chud playback and say "I'm not racist but....." Italians really need to be taken down a peg or two.
Had about enough of them getting upset you didn't use the right kind of $100 ham in a pasta dish but defending re-electing literal Mussolinis.
- For a people who didn't even have tomatoes until a few centuries ago they are way too uptight about recipe substitutions.

Italians then:
Sacco and Vanzetti
Italians now:

Has Capital won?

AIPAC but for Italians is a quintessentially Twitter bit. "Mike Crispi" is also a suspiciously joke-y name, but his website is wild so I guess this is real.

Oh wow, idpol is a wheezily manipulation tactic with no substance? Being a marginalized group doesn't automatically make you correct?
Just wait until I tell tumblr about this.