No.

This is why we dont have cool things any more... we make up our own knowledge just because it seems to fit
- That's what I thought when I was a kid but I was told I was wrong!
- Acronyms didn't become popular until fairly recently, so if the word is at least a century old, odds are that it isn't an acronym.
- But when I take a brake, doesn’t that mean I’m stopping work, hitting the brakes?
  When I diffuse a situation, doesn’t that mean I’m thinning out the tension or whatever?
  People make up whatever reason they need to avoid going to a dictionary to understand what they’re writing.
  (It’s break and defuse, in case anyone was wondering. The first doesn’t need explanation, but defuse is because you want to cut the fuse off from the thing that’s going to blow up, the thing being the situation)
  
  People make mistakes. Thems the brakes.
- news (n.) late 14c., "new things," plural of new (n.) "new thing" (see new (adj.)); after French nouvelles, which was used in Bible translations to render Medieval Latin nova (neuter plural) "news," literally "new things."
- This is why we don't have nice things... we rather think that an incorrect statement from a random unknown person on the internet comes from someone lazy or nefarious, that from someone just making a joke.
  I think it is funny to think of 'NEWS' as a abbreviation, why else would so many news media print it in capitals.
  
  The way the internet works, people have no chance to know if you're kidding or being serious. It takes one misunderstanding, to turn a distribution of a joke into distribution of misinformation

NORTH EAST WEST SOUTH
At least that's what they taught us in journalism school
- Actually it's Never Eat While Shitting
  
  Oops. Should I not have done that? I mean if anyone had told me that sort of thing is frowned upon I never would've...
  
  Never eat skunks weiners, actually.
- First off:
  THIS IS THE THE SAME POST CITED IN THE SNOPES ARTICLE DEBUNKING IT
  NORTH EAST WEST SOUTH
  At least that’s what they taught us in journalism school
  I guess they didn't also teach research in "journalism school"?
  https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/news-etymology/
  Origin
  Some explanations are just too simple to accept:
  The notion that the English word news — that is, information about recent events — is the plural of the word new just doesn't sound right, so somebody cooked up the notion that the word is an acronym formed from the initial letters of the four cardinal compass points (north, east, west, and south), supposedly because news is information from all over the land.
  Similar folk etymologies include the idea that 'news' derives from an acronym for the phrase "Notable Events, Weather, and Sports": (image from OP here)
  This tidbit is also obviously not true, as the concept of "news" was around (and was referred to as such) long before professional sports and reliable weather forecasting became mainstays of that industry (or even existed).
  Likewise, the word 'newspaper' is not an acronym formed from the words "North, East, West, South, Past and Present Event Report." A newspaper is so named because it is literally paper on which has been printed information about recent events (i.e., 'news').
  It's not surprising that the real explanation sounds a bit odd to us, because new is an adjective and not a noun, so how could it have a plural form? The answer is that although adjectives don't generally have plurals in English, they do in other languages. In some Romance languages, for example, adjectives change to agree in number with the nouns they modify. In Spanish a white house is a casa blanca, but white houses are casas blancas. Likewise, in French a tall woman is a grande femme, but tall women are grandes femmes. When nouveau, the French word for new, modifies a plural (feminine) noun, it becomes nouvelles, which is also the French word for news.
  Not so strange after all.
  
  Why would I do extra research to prove my professor wrong instead of just listening to what they said for the test? Idk you're right but also assuming a lot lmfao
- That doesn’t even make sense, who would refer to cardinal directions in that order?
  
  The Catholic Church says hi.:-P
- Fun fact they were going to name compasses NEWS but the name was already taken
  
  That's news to me!
- NORTH EAST WEST SOUTH
  all in the same house
  Dammit. Now I need to listen to some Escape Club

Lol, imagine if "sports" was part of the origin story of news as a concept.
- I take issue with sports being in headline news practically every day, or multiple days per week at least.
  I have nothing against people enjoying sports, but it's a hobby like any other, which I think is unreasonably thrust upon everyone else.
  Where is the eSports news, or competitive dancing, woodworking news, or as I'm sure we can all agree on Lemmy, what about my old electronic gadget of the week news?
  When I had The Guardian app, it was quite annoying that sports was lumped in with the push notifications for actual news.
  I'm just saying sports news ought to be opt-in like any other hobby.
  
  I agree. I can't stand that every restaurant or bar has to have a TV or 20 that are all tuned to talking heads blowing hot air over what sports guy #876,914 did last night, or what sports guy #1,456,888 will do tomorrow night.
  Even when it's live sports, the broadcast is still more commercials than game, every square inch of the playing area is plastered with ads, plus the ads that are on the overlay, plus this instant replay is brought to you by A1 Hemorrhoid cream, from the Mega-Car Savings Plus Center, at beautiful Jack the Ambulance Chaser Stadium: "When you drive drunk, call Jack to blame on the innocent™!"
  
  I'm gonna sound like an asshole, but that stuff isn't in there because the people reading newspapers don't care about those things
  
  In Australia they've started doing horoscopes as part of the evening news. I'm not joking.
- Byzantine politics did have political parties and professional sports teams as literally the same thing, so it's not completely insane as a concept.
- Also weather wasn't part of news (as in published news) at first, unless they were reporting what it was currently doing right now, because it predated forecasting by about 300 years.
  
  Oh now, we've been predicting the weather far longer than you imagine. We just haven't been very good at it until fairly recently.

From the Etymonline website:
news (n.) late 14c., "new things," plural of new (n.) "new thing" (see new (adj.)); after French nouvelles, which was used in Bible translations to render Medieval Latin nova (neuter plural) "news," literally "new things."
The English word was construed as singular at least from the 1560s, but it sometimes still was regarded as plural 17c.-19c. The odd and doubtful construction probably accounts for the absurd folk-etymology (attested by 1640 but originally, and in 18c. usually, in jest-books) that claims it to be an abbreviation of north east south west, as though "information from all quarters of the compass."
The meaning "tidings, intelligence of something that has lately taken place" is from early 15c. The meaning "radio or television program presenting current events" is from 1923. Bad news in the extended sense of "unpleasant person or situation" is from 1926. Expression no news, good news can be traced to 1640s. Expression news to me "something I did not know" is from 1889.
- Thank you! Their reply was funny, but it would have been helpful to have at least the basic definition there too if they're going to respond to that person lol

I always assumed it was news as plural. Here's a list of new's. This is new, that is new.
- It's not only okay not to pluralize with an apostrophe, ever, but as a bonus it makes what you wrote into English.
- I'm pretty sure this is the actual etymology of news.
  People asking each other "what new things?" becomes "what news", as well as usage like "that information is new to me" becoming "that is news to me"
- It is, and I hate it
- Might as well call it Olds then, these days, considering how repetitious it all is.
  
  Hello fellow old
  
  That automobile manufacturer disappeared.

It takes less time to Google that or ask a device, than to post that disinfo
- Disinfo gets engagement though.

I'm surprised. Merriam-Webster is usually the Urban Dictionary of print dictionaries. I'd have more expected them to change their definition because "muh common usage."
Hacks. OED or death.
- I love that there are strong opinions like this out there for dictionaries.
  You've convinced me. I'm ride or die for OED now too.
  
  I never really thought about choosing a side, but I am a staunch supporter of the Oxford comma. I guess now I know which side I’m on. Let’s fucking go
  
  the gold standard lexicon
  
  Hopefully you're an "Oxford comma, ride or die", too.
  
  I once read an article praising the 1913 edition of the Webster's dictionary and I have been using it ever since (in the form of GNU Collaborative International Dictionary of English). That with etymonline makes the reading experience quite pleasant.
  
  Well, you and I were already basically besties, weren't we @The_Picard_Maneuver?
  
  Anyone have the definition of OED?
- etymology has nothing to do with common usage.
  also common usage is what defines words; that has nothing to do with MW. that's how language works. i can't believe there are still prescriptionists in this century.

N.O. (Negative Order)
- johN Oliver

Never eat shredded wheat
- NESW
  
  Not Safe Entering Work.

No actually means "noteworthy observation" so it's nice to get that validation.

News from Snoops
- Plural for "new" was my presumption as well. That means a news article can actually be called a "new".

it's the opposite of olds
- As I remember olds is short for: Offhand Lewd Developments and Summaries

This is Webster, named after the guy who butchered English for fun and fame? It's like dunning-kruger became a linguistic architect.
- Wasn't he trying to simplify it? He's the reason for most of our Americanized spellings, I'm pretty sure.

Of course we all know that "news" stands for Never EVER Work Safe.
- Isnt that Amazon warehouse motto?
  
  Yes, but they got it from earlier companies, like the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory.

How many people are like this? I hope it's way less than a percent but experience tells me it's a lot more. 😭

Idk if all the people in this comment section are joking, it means things that are new. New information about the world.

Literally is literally not literally except when it literally is literally.

They should've checked this from the authority himself: Gary Busey.

No is really enough but a good addition would be to "Try again and get it right."