Duck Wearing Bow-Tie Walks Into Pub, Drinks Pint, Fights Dog, Loses
Duck Wearing Bow-Tie Walks Into Pub, Drinks Pint, Fights Dog, Loses
Duck Wearing Bow-Tie Walks Into Pub, Drinks Pint, Fights Dog
A bow-tie wearing duck has been injured in a drunken pub brawl with a local dog in Chulmleigh, Devon.
The booze-loving bird, affectionately named Star, was enjoying a pint in The Old Courthouse Inn with his handler, Barrie Hayman, when Hayman's canine Meggie sparked a bar brawl.
Star was left with injuries to his beak after the fight.
"Star pushed his luck too far and Meggie snapped - splitting Star's bottom beak right down the middle," Hayman, 69, told the Cheddar Valley Gazette.
"He gave her a stare, then promptly stood on her back. It was not pretty and not nice. We were so scared we would lose Star.
...
Hayman has cared for Star ever since he was a chick, carrying him around in his pocket. Once the duckling grew up, he developed a taste for real ale and started following his owner to the pub.
"He just won't leave me and so we go everywhere together," Hayman said. "I've not trained him to follow me. He just seems to like it and he is one fantastic duck.
"He loves to come to the pub, where everyone loves him. He is such a personality and attracts so much attention."
I guess this isn't the same duck: A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich. The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck!" "Your eyes work", replies the duck, wryly. "And you talk!" exclaims the landlord. "And your ears", says the duck. "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?". "Certainly", says the landlord, "sorry about that... it's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?". "I'm working on the building site across the road", explains the duck. The landlord watches, astounded, as the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves. The duck visits regularly for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The owner of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him, "You're with the circus aren't you?, I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus - he talks, drinks beer and everything!". "Sounds marvelous", says the owner, "get him to give me a call". So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the landlord says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!". "Yeah?", says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?". "At the circus", says the landlord. "The circus?", the duck inquires, a bit bemused. "That's right", replies the landlord. "What, the place with the big tent?. Big canvas roof, hole in the middle, canvas walls, animals in cages?", asks the duck. "That's right!", says the landlord. The duck looks confused. "What the fuck would they want with a plasterer?"
But did they have any grapes?