And Finally...

> The AstraZeneca vaccine was, at the time, at the heart of a cross-Channel row over exports, and Johnson believed the EU was treating the UK “with malice”. > >Johnson said that he “had commissioned some work on whether it might be technically feasible to launch an aquatic raid on a warehouse in Leiden, in the Netherlands, and to take that which was legally ours and which the UK desperately needed”. > >The deputy chief of the defence staff, Lt Gen Doug Chalmers, told the prime minister the plan was “certainly feasible” and would involve using rigid inflatable boats to navigate Dutch canals. > >“They would then rendezvous at the target; enter; secure the hostage goods, exfiltrate using an articulated lorry, and make their way to the Channel ports,” Johnson wrote. > >However, Chalmers told Johnson it would be difficult to carry out the mission undetected, meaning the UK would “have to explain why we are effectively invading a longstanding Nato ally”. > >Johnson concluded: “Of course, I knew he was right, and I secretly agreed with what they all thought, but did not want to say aloud: that the whole thing was nuts.”

"It’s like something from a horror movie – only it’s not!

Imagine cruising along the River Bann, cleaning up litter, and then coming across a hand poking out of a black bin bag. Honestly, imagine it…

Well, a group of volunteers didn’t have to, as that’s exactly what they encountered in the river on Friday.

‘Oh My God’, were the words uttered by one of the Kingspan team who came across the bag.

Fortunately, what appeared to be something grisly, turned out to be….well, something grisly – a discarded blow-up doll.

Posting a short video on the River Bann Cleanup page, the team described the scenes as “shocking”.

“It’s not something we have come across before, but the team from Kingspan found this on the river today in Portadown while on a clean-up,” they wrote.

“Quite a shocking experience when found floating in the river.

“It seems that this partially clothed, blow-up doll, along with an umbrella and candles had been discarded recently. Maybe a date that didn’t work out, leaving one quite deflated in the process.

“As always, the river is not a place to dump your rubbish….or secrets.”

Well done to the team for the clean-up, as always, and good luck to you as you undergo PTSD treatment over the next few months."

> A pet owner was left delighted when her cat brought home a winning scratchcard - bagging her £10. Megan Christian, 33, says one-year-old Monkey often arrives with unusual items. > >She's previously dragged home a Wetherspoon menu, a coffee sachet and chicken from KFC. Earlier this month mixed breed Monkey turned up at the home in Penzance, Cornwall, with a winning scratchcard worth a tenner. > > Megan, a carer, said: “When she brought home the scratchcard I couldn't believe it - I was like, 'really, a winning scratchcard?' It really intrigued me. I have no idea where she gets these things from. But every time she’s back I’m like, ‘Oh wow, what has she got now?’” > > Monkey's treasure hunts began six months ago, with the first item being wall plugs, followed by a child's dummy. The cat also brought home a stuffed pickle recently, which Megan found amusing.

> Just Eat customers will soon be able to get vibrators and lingerie sent to their doorstep in minutes, as the company starts delivering products made by sex toy maker Lovehoney in the coming weeks. > >The takeaway giant said it will deliver “sexual wellbeing products” and accessories from brands including Womanizer, We-Vibe and Fifty Shades of Grey. > >Just Eat said the products will be delivered inside sealed, unbranded paper bags, with receipts attached on the inside to ensure “discretion”. > > ... > > Deliveroo partnered up with Ann Summers earlier this year to deliver its lingerie and adult products to people’s homes “in minutes”. > > ... > > Alongside delivering the products in plain packaging, Just Eat has also instructed riders not to leave the sex toy deliveries at people’s doorsteps, with orders returned to stores if customers are not contactable.

>A hearing into OceanGate’s Titan sub, which imploded during an expedition to the wreck of the Titanic last year, revealed that its navigation system allegedly relied on team members manually inputting the coordinate data into a spreadsheet in order to track the vessel. > > The incident last July killed all five people on board, including OceanGate’s CEO and co-founder Stockton Rush. > >“There were delays because there was this manual process of first writing down the lat-long coordinates and then typing them in,” Antonella Wilby, a former OceanGate contractor, told the hearing held by the US Coast Guard Marine Board of Investigation. > > ... > > She described the system as “absolutely idiotic”, adding that she had raised concerns about the method with OceanGate but was dismissed for not being “solution-oriented”. > > The ultra-short baseline (USBL) acoustic positioning system used sound pings to determine the submersible’s speed, depth and position, however rather than being automatically loaded into mapping software, the coordinate data was transcribed into a notebook before being typed into a spreadsheet on a computer.

> A man died in a kitchen mishap after accidently stabbing himself while trying to separate frozen burgers with a knife, a coroner has concluded. > > It took police more than a month after Barry Griffiths died to seal off his flat in Llandrindod Wells after a post-mortem revealed that he died from a stab wound, during which time some evidence had been lost. > >An inquest at Pontypridd Coroner's Court on Monday (September 16) heard that the investigation later found that there was no evidence that anyone else was involved in the death of the 57-year-old, whose body was found on July 4, 2023 after concerns were raised that he hadn't been seen for more than a week.

cross-posted from: https://feddit.uk/post/17915533

> > A statue of a popular duck who went missing from the grounds of the University of York has been unveiled live on air during the Radio 1 Breakfast Show. > > > >Host Greg James, dressed in black and wearing a mourning veil, revealed the sculpture of the unusually tall duck, known as Long Boi, in Central Hall. > > > >Long Boi, a 28in (70cm) cross between a mallard and an Indian runner, was regularly featured on James’ show after gaining fame among students and is believed to have died last year after vanishing from the campus. > > > >Speaking on his breakfast show, broadcast live from the university on Thursday, James said: "It is one of my great sadnesses that I never met Long Boi, though I feel like I did." > > > >The statue was unveiled as part of a ceremony held at 09:00 BST, with hundreds of people watching on. > > > >After the unveiling, a "minute's quacking" was held by those in attendance. > > > >Ahead of the ceremony, James said he was "extending the invite" to the ceremony to "all the other ducks on campus".

> Spencer Matthews, the former Made In Chelsea star turned ultra athlete, has had his abs likened to the face of Jesus Christ. > >After completing an impressive 30 marathons in 30 days, he posed with his wife, Vogue Williams, and fans were quick to notice a peculiar resemblance in his abdominal muscles. > > The outline of his abs seemed to mimic the head of Jesus, with two of his muscles looking like eyes and his belly button appearing as a mouth, according to What's The Jam.

!

> In an interview, parent Rachel Fjeld told WTKR that her son was sitting to have his school picture taken when the photographer allegedly asked him, "Can I steal your identity?" and "Can I eat your soul?" > >"You can say all the things you want to say about good vs. evil, God vs. the devil, or demons or whatever, but at the end of the day what was said was not funny, and it wasn't OK. It was a child in an uncomfortable situation," Fjeld said. "I know people are trying to say, 'Oh she's just joking. It was just funny,' but it's not funny. That's not funny. And what that doesn't do is put any child at ease, it just scares them." > > "She asked him, 'Can I steal your identity?' His response was just, 'No.' Her next question was, 'Can I eat your soul?' And, you know, when he was expressing it to us he was crying, he was very upset and he said ‘No, no,’" Fjeld said of the exchange between her son and the photographer. > > "Her next question was, 'Well, then what can I eat?' He told me, he said, 'Mommy I didn't know what to say so I said the first thing that came to mind was, 'You can have noodles, you can eat noodles,' and her response was, 'Demons don't eat noodles.'"

> A new study shows that some members of the species Octopus cyanea maraud around the seafloor in hunting groups with fish, which sometimes include several fish species at once. > > The research, published in the journal Nature on Monday, even suggests that the famously intelligent animals organized the hunting groups’ decisions, including what they should prey upon. > >What’s more, the researchers witnessed the cephalopod species — often called the big blue or day octopus — punching companion fish, apparently to keep them on task and contributing to the collective effort. > > ... > > These hunting groups typically included several species of reef fish, such as grouper and goatfish. The octopuses did not appear to lead the groups, but they did punch at fish to enforce social order — most often at blacktip groupers. > >“The ones that get more punched are the main exploiters of the group. These are the ambush predators, the ones that don’t move, don’t look for prey,” Sampaio said. > > Octopuses would also punch fish to keep the group moving. > >“If the group is very still and everyone is around the octopus, it starts punching, but if the group is moving along the habitat, this means that they’re looking for prey, so the octopus is happy. It doesn’t punch anyone,” Sampaio said.

> Doctors are worried a combat sport called slap fighting, watched by millions online and gaining in popularity, is causing serious brain damage. > >Competitors face off and take turns to deliver bare, full-force, open-handed strikes to the cheek. > >To assess the possible harm, medics screened videos of tournaments and have now written a warning letter in a leading journal, JAMA Surgery, external, about their findings. > >Unlike boxing, no head gear is allowed and defenders cannot duck to avoid blows. Even flinching is banned. > >Opponents are scored based on the amount of damage they inflict and how well they cope with getting slapped themselves. > >The sport is popular in the US, but other countries, including the UK, are in on the action. > >Next month, Liverpool will hold what is being billed as the first-ever British Heavyweight Slap Fight Competition. > > ... > > It is not the first warning public about the sport though. > > The alarm was raised in 2021 after Polish slap fighter Artur Walczak suffered a brain bleed during a match in which he was knocked out and lost consciousness. > >Despite hospital treatment, he died weeks later of multiple organ failure linked to his head injury.

> A group of monkeys reportedly stopped a man from allegedly raping a six-year-old in Uttar Pradesh's Baghpat. Media reports claimed that the incident took place on Saturday after the accused lured the child to an abandoned house in the city. > > The victim, a UKG student, narrated the incident to her family and informed them of how the monkeys saved her, reported The Times of India. > > According to the victim's father, she was playing outside their house when the accused took her to an abandoned house. He then took off her clothes and attempted to sexually assault her, reported TOI. However, a group of monkeys aggressively attacked the man - forcing him to flee. > >“The man could be seen in nearby CCTV footage, walking on a narrow lane with my daughter. He is yet to be identified. He also threatened my child that he would kill me. My daughter would have been dead by now if the monkeys had not intervened,” the girl's father said, as quoted by TOI.

> Beef and chicken glisten as they rotate slowly on vertical spits before they are carved off in razor-thin strips. Two cooks slide from a sizzling griddle to a warm toaster in a practiced dance. Mounds of fresh tomatoes, cabbage and red onions shine in a colorful tableau. > >The scene at Kebap With Attitude in Berlin’s trendy Mitte neighborhood is typical of any street-side stand or restaurant where cooks pile the ingredients into pita bread to create the city’s beloved döner kebab. > >But the snack’s status could be in jeopardy if the European Commission approves a bid by Turkey to regulate what can legally take the döner kebab name. > >In the balance is an industry that generates annual sales of roughly 2.3 billion euros (nearly $2.6 billion) in Germany alone, and 3.5 billion euros (nearly $3.9 billion) across Europe, according to the Berlin-based Association of Turkish Döner Producers in Europe. > > ... > > In April, Turkey applied to have döner kebab protected under a status called “traditional specialty guaranteed.” It’s below the vaunted “protected designation of origin” that applies to geographic region-specific products, like Champagne from its eponymous region in France, but could still impact kebab-shop owners, their individual recipes and their customers throughout Germany. > > Under Turkey’s proposal, beef would be required to come from cattle that is at least 16 months old. It would be marinated with specific amounts of animal fat, yogurt or milk, onion, salt, and thyme, as well as black, red and white peppers. The final product be sliced off the vertical spit into pieces that are 3 to 5 millimeters (0.1 to 0.2 inches) thick. Chicken would be similarly regulated.

> On an island of windswept tundra in the Bering Sea, hundreds of miles from mainland Alaska, a resident sitting outside their home saw — well, did they see it? They were pretty sure they saw it. > >A rat. > >The purported sighting would not have gotten attention in many places around the world, but it caused a stir on St. Paul Island, which is part of the Pribilof Islands, a birding haven sometimes called the “Galapagos of the north” for its diversity of life. > >That’s because rats that stow away on vessels can quickly populate and overrun remote islands, devastating bird populations by eating eggs, chicks or even adults and upending once-vibrant ecosystems. > >Shortly after receiving the resident’s report in June, wildlife officials arrived at the apartment complex and crawled through nearby grasses, around the building and under the porch, looking for tracks, chew marks or droppings. They baited traps with peanut butter and set up trail cameras to capture any confirmation of the rat’s existence — but so far have found no evidence. > > ... > > Around the developed areas of St. Paul, officials have set out blocks of wax — “chew blocks” — designed to record any telltale incisor bites. Some of the blocks are made with ultraviolet material, which allow inspectors armed with black lights to search for glowing droppings. > >They also have asked residents to be on the lookout for any rodents and are seeking permission to have the U.S. Department of Agriculture bring a dog to the island to sniff out any rats. Canines are otherwise banned from the Pribilofs to protect fur seals. > >There have been no traces of any rats since the reported sighting this summer, but the hunt and heightened state of vigilance is likely to persist for months. > >Divine likened the search to trying to find a needle in a haystack “and not knowing if a needle even exists.”

> Meliesha Jones, who was a part-time administrator at Vale Curtains and Blinds in Oxford since May 2021, was dealing with a customer complaint when she accidentally forwarded the email to the customer rather than reply to a colleague. > >She wrote: "Hi Karl - Can you change this... he's a twat so it doesn't matter if you can't." > >She was sacked for gross misconduct in June 2023, a week after she had sent the message to the customer instead of the company's installations manager Karl Gibbons, an employment tribunal in Reading heard. > >Ms Jones was awarded £5,484.74 after the tribunal ruled she had been unfairly dismissed. > > ... > > Shortly after she had sent the message, the customer's wife rang and asked: "Is there any reason why you called my husband a twat?" > > ... > > The tribunal heard that a probe took place and the company decided there also had to be a disciplinary hearing. > >But the tribunal heard neither Ms Jones nor the customer was interviewed, no notes were produced by Mrs Smith and no written account of the decision was made. > >The customer had contacted the company directly and made further threats about publicising the incident, in particular by leaving a poor review on Trustpilot and bosses decided to "get rid of" Ms Jones. > > ... > > Employment Judge Akua Reindorf KC said: "I conclude from the evidence before me that the principal reason for this decision was that the customer and his wife had made threats to publicise the claimant's email in the press, social media and/or Trustpilot." > > ... > > The judge said: "The disciplinary process and the dismissal were a sham designed to placate the customer. > >"This is clear from the fact that Mrs Smith immediately informed the customer that [Ms Jones] had been dismissed - notably, without any apparent regard for the claimant's data protection rights." > >She added the company had "decided to sacrifice the claimant's employment for the sake of appeasing the customer and heading off bad reviews, and wholly unreasonably failed to consider other more proportionate ways of achieving the same outcome".

> A family have spoken of their ordeal after their seven-year-old son, whose middle name is inspired by the Star Wars films, was refused a passport due to copyright issues. > >Christian Mowbray, 48, is a serving soldier in The Corps of Royal Engineers at the Rock Barracks in Sutton Heath, near Woodbridge. > >He and his wife Becky, a former serving soldier, booked a holiday to the Dominican Republic at the end of October, the family’s first since 2014 due to their demanding work schedules and Becky’s struggles with Complex PTSD. > > However, when they tried to secure a passport for their youngest child, Loki Skywalker Mowbray, the Home Office refused it on copyright grounds, telling the family to either change his name or get permission from the copyright owner, Disney. > > ... > > The family then confirmed that, on Friday, the Home Office would be issuing a passport. > >Before this, when SuffolkNews approached it for comment, it said the family’s application was ‘being processed’ and apologised for the delay. It then later confirmed it had approved the application.

Previously:

• Game of Thrones name sparks passport mix-up for family

> A farmer from Hagendorn near Cham in the canton of Zug in Switzerland has fallen victim to a cyberattack in which unknown culprits hacked his milking robot. The cyber criminals then encrypted the stored data. The criminals ultimately demanded a ransom of 10,000 dollars for the decryption of the data. However, because the farmer did not pay, he lost access to important information. As a result, he had to euthanize one of his pregnant cows due to complications related to pregnancy. The financial damage is estimated at about 6,400 euros. To this day, it is unclear who is behind this cyberattack. > > ... > > The encrypted data included, among other things, information about the cows' pregnancies. The farmer told the Luzerner Zeitung that the animal might still be alive if he had been able to read the exact insemination date from the milking robot. As a result, the hack directly led to the cow's death.

>A nurse who created a wellbeing programme involving singing to sick children has won an award for her work. > >Sally Spencer, a leukaemia advanced nurse practitioner, has won the Sky Arts Hero Award. > >Alongside Birmingham-based choir Ex Cathedra, Ms Spencer performs songs to distract and soothe the patients at Birmingham Children's Hospital. > >Ms Spencer, who has worked at the hospital for 25 years, said singing had "enormous benefits" for the children. > >Ms Spencer told BBC Radio WM she came up with the idea of Singing Medicine in 2002. > > ... > > The Sky Arts Hero Award recognises unsung heroes who use the arts to help their local communities and has only one winner.

> Two men named Bernie McDonagh who stole jewellery, a TV, and high-end watches during a 10-day crime spree have been jailed. Police said the brazen duo stole more than £8,000 worth of items when they targeted homes across Warwickshire. > > ... > > On August 10 on Main Street in Willey, CCTV captured the McDonaghs breaking into an address and spending five minutes inside before fleeing in a Lexus. Both had conducted an untidy search of the property, stealing a yellow floral pillowcase and a jewellery box, Warwickshire Police said. > > ... > > Both McDonaghs were sentenced at Warwick Crown Court on Tuesday (September 17). Bernie McDonagh, of Heather Close in Romford, was charged with three counts of burglary, one count of attempted burglary, one count of going equipped for burglary, driving without insurance, and driving while disqualified. > >McDonagh, from Romford, was sentenced to four years, nine months, and two weeks in prison and ordered to pay a victim surcharge of £228. He was also disqualified from holding a driving licence for 270 days, Warwickshire Police said. > >Bernie McDonagh, of Villiers Street in Coventry, was charged with two counts of burglary, one count of attempted burglary, and one count of going equipped for burglary, Warwickshire Police said. He was sentenced to two years in prison and must pay a victim surcharge of £187.

> A Chinese zoo has admitted that the pandas in their exhibits were, in fact, “painted dogs.” > >According to the New York Post, visitors at the Shanwei Zoo realized they were being bamboozled when the so-called pandas began panting and barking. Pandas are native to China and an international symbol of the country. > > In one visitor’s video, one of the “pandas” was visibly panting while resting on a rock in a fence, while another clip had a panda with a long tail strolling about. > > “It’s a PANdog,” one viewer wrote, while someone else joked: “That’s the Temu version of a panda.” > > ... > > After visitors publicized the ruse on social media, the organizers admitted they’d painted two Chow Chows — a fluffy dog breed originally from northern China — with black-and-white panda markings. Since then, visitors have demanded their money back for false advertising.

Previously:

• Zoo defends ‘panda’ exhibit after criticism for using dogs dyed black and white - a different Chinese zoo

> This year, in a bizarre effort to make the Oklahoma State Fair smell even worse than it already does, Dent Source sponsored and organized a competition called the Stinkin’ Sentra Giveaway. > > Similar to the B.O. GEO competition of years past, the premise is simple: four people are sent to live inside one Nissan Sentra in an outdoor fair exhibit. The contestants are only allowed to leave the car once every three hours for a 15-minute bathroom break, and anything they bring into the car—like discarded food, trash, or a carnie scalp—has to stay in the car. The last person to leave wins the car. > > According to local media reports, the competition concluded this past weekend. The winner was Brian Richmond, who outlasted the other three contestants and, according to witnesses, looks like he smells like a Walmart: > > ... > > Brian’s victory in the Stinkin’ Sentra competition didn’t come without some smelly and disgusting controversy. > >Meet Chris Deschner. He’s the guy who finished second in the competition, leaving the car after 80 hours of being trapped inside. > > In a Facebook video, Chris claims he exited the vehicle only after Brian went full Mr. Hankey and brought a cup of human excrement from the port-a-potty into the car following a bathroom break! > >Yep, you read that right. The winner brought a cup of human excrement from the port-a-potty into the car following a bathroom break. If you need to take a quick break to throw up in your mouth, feel free. > >Chris protested Brian’s septic stunt to contest organizers, but after holding a quick tribunal—hopefully while wearing hazmat suits—the Dent Source team determined that bringing human excrement into the Sentra was a violation of competition rules, but not enough to disqualify Brian. > >They removed the cup from the car and told Chris and Brian to resume play. > >Unfortunately, Chris couldn’t mentally recover from this clear violation of the laws of man. Claiming he had “more self-respect than that,” he dropped out of the competition like a loose turd, handing Brian the victory and a new, shitty car. > > ... > > If you ask me, Chris probably realized he had no chance of winning once he witnessed the sewage-level depths his opponent was willing to go for victory, so he quit under protest to try to sneak a win and save face. > >Honestly, I don’t blame Chris for this move. In fact, I consider him the winner! Not only does he still have his dignity, but even better—he won’t have to drive a Nissan Sentra.

> A man who was charged with masturbating in his car as a schoolgirl walked past the window has told the district court that he was actually sanding the handle of a paint roller that was between his legs. > >Prosecuting Inspector Tony O’Sullivan told Mallow District Court that Csaba Szentesi, 52, of Evergreen Buildings, Cork was charged with a single count of masturbating in public under Section 45-2-C of the Criminal Law (Sexual Offences) Act 2017. > > ... > > Defence counsel John Colthurst BL acting for solicitor Killian McCarthy said that it was not the defence’s case that the girl was lying but that she was simply mistaken. > > In a statement Mr Szentesi told the court that he was a painter by trade and was married with two children. > >He said that he had arrived in Midleton that morning on his way to a job and stopped for something to eat and a cigarette. > >Mr Szentesi said that he had a new paint roller that had a “glossy handle” and he was sanding it down because it was too slippery. > >He told the court that it was between his legs and that anyone looking in the window might think it was a penis. > >He said: “I am convinced what the young girl saw was the paint roller. Even an adult could confuse the situation.” > > ... > >Judge Colm Roberts commended the girl for how she conducted herself in court where she appeared by video link and in the video interview. > > He said: “If this was decided on the balance of probabilities I would have no problem convicting this man but because of the seriousness of the charge it must be proved beyond a reasonable doubt. On that basis I cannot convict because the evidence does not reach the required threshold.” > >The judge said he found the defendant’s explanation novel and told Mr Colthurst: “If your client is cleaning handles again make sure he doesn’t do it near schoolchildren.” > >The case was dismissed.

> A Sydney homeowner who has become fed up with late-night drinkers using his property as a makeshift toilet has taken matters into his own hands, setting up an ingenious, and so far very effective, “wee trap”. > >For far too long, Stephen Bodnar from Waverley in Sydney has had to deal with inebriated individuals using his driveway as a place to relieve themselves. > >Men and women alike have stumbled from nearby pubs The Charing Cross Hotel and The Robin Hood Hotel and onto his property for years, leaving an unpleasant reminder of their visit. > > “The worst was when I’d go away, out to dinner or something, and then drive into my driveway and they’d wee’d right where my door opens,” he told 7NEWS. > >“It was an unpleasant feeling. > > ... > > Finally fed up, the electrician decided to install a $3,000 sprinkler and CCTV system to keep any perpetrators away - and it’s so far working like a charm. > >“I’ve had no other option than to take matters (into) my own hands, I think,” he said. > > The deterrent includes a motion detector which triggers a light and then a three-minute downpour between the hours of 6pm and 6am. > > ... > > But Bodnar’s solution seems to be working just fine, with CCTV capturing the shock experiences by multiple late night drinkers have had when they receive a surprise drenching. > >“I’m really happy with the outcome,” he said.

>The squirrels jumped on the Great Western Railway (GWR) 8.54am train from Reading to Gatwick on Monday, forcing passengers to flee to other carriages. > >The passengers alerted staff, who tried to lure the squirrels off the train at Redhill with snacks, before trying to force them off with brooms - but to no avail. > >They subsequently called the journey off entirely.

> Former PC James Tillcock took loose change from a car he had searched after its owner was arrested in Kidlington, Oxfordshire, on 21 June. > >He reported that no items were taken from the car but body worn video that Mr Tillcock recorded while searching it showed him taking the coins. > >On being served with misconduct papers on 2 July, he admitted being "very silly" and said he took £2 to pay off the tuck shop debt. > >According to Thames Valley Police (TVP), Mr Tillcock told investigators: "It's alright, I know why you are here. I was very silly. I was in debt for £2 to the tuck shop and took £2." > >The remaining 50p was to "purchase chocolate bars for his children", the papers state. > >Mr Tillcock, who was previously based in Bicester, received a caution for theft.

> The search for an escaped capybara which fled a zoo four days ago is continuing "around the clock". > >Cinnamon fled her habitat at Hoo Zoo and Dinosaur World in Telford on Friday and entered woodlands within the zoo grounds. > >The last sighting of her was on Saturday, after she managed to get beyond the perimeter fence. > >Zoo owner Will Dorrell said he believed Cinnamon had made it to the Humber Brook river, near the attraction's northern boundary, where "she's probably living her best life". > > ... > > Cinnamon escaped when keepers entered the capybara enclosure to mow the paddock, as she was hidden in long grass near the gate, Mr Dorrell said. > >When the gate was opened, she slipped around the side of a tractor to leave the enclosure. > >"Our two young capybara here are always trying to work out a different way of trying to cause us headaches," Mr Dorrell said. > >"They’re extremely intelligent which a lot of people might not necessarily appreciate. > >"She seemed to know what we were going to do and was waiting there ready for that gate to be opened." > >While a capybara has never escaped from the zoo before, Mr Dorrell said one managed to dig under a fence to get into an ostrich enclosure a few years ago, but quickly realised she wanted to come back

> In a latrine in ancient Antiochia ad Cragum (modern-day Turkey), archaeologists uncovered mosaics that’ll make you laugh… or blush. These aren’t your average ancient art pieces; they are full-on dirty jokes! And they’re as cheeky as anything you’d find scrawled on the back of a bathroom door today. > >The mosaics, dating back to the 2nd century AD, portray well-known characters from Roman and Greek mythology—only this time with a hilarious twist. One shows Narcissus, who’s supposed to be obsessed with his own reflection, but here? He’s ogling his private parts instead! Yeah, not exactly how you’d see him in a museum. > >Then there’s Ganymedes, a handsome Trojan youth who, in mythology, was kidnapped by Zeus. The twist? Zeus appears as a heron instead of an eagle, using a sponge to clean Ganymedes’ genitals. Ancient Romans had no chill! They were clearly poking fun at the very myths they held dear, and it all happened in a public restroom! > > ... > > But it’s not just about the jokes. These mosaics offer a rare glimpse into the personalities of people who lived 2,000 years ago. According to Michael Hoff, one of the archaeologists leading the excavation, the humor in these mosaics connects us to those who lived in Antiochia ad Cragum in a way that buildings or temples can’t. It’s personal, relatable, and very, very human. > >Who knew that a Roman toilet could be so revealing?

> Two friends are causing a stir completing a six-day tandem bike ride completely naked. Neil Cox, 36, and his friend, J Antic, 25, set off on Saturday on a naked 260-mile journey from Gloucester to Land's End, Cornwall. > > The pair are both naturists - meaning they like to spend time in the nude - and wanted to see some natural beauty across the south west of England. Neil and J have cycled naked through Gloucester to Bristol, taken a trip to the Mendips and stopped off in Glastonbury. > > The pair have spent some nights camping and others in hotels or B&Bs, and even took some nude trips out shopping or to drink in bars while on their journey. Now in Cornwall, they're on the last leg of their cycle - and say the response to them so far has been "overwhelmingly positive". > > ... > > "People on social media always have opinions - but we haven't had many negative reactions. People in Glastonbury were overwhelmingly positive, it was a bit overwhelming. In Bristol people had a casual indifference, but that's what we want to be the case really. > > ... > > "Wherever we go, people do look over - I think some are just bemused about seeing two people on a tandem. So they find it even funnier to see two naked people on a tandem."

> A twisted pervert who got a sexual thrill from pooing in front of women and girls in the street wept in court as he was spared jail. > >Callum Fraser, 20, followed the victims and shouted disgusting comments as he opened his bowels before escaping on an electric Voi scooter. While performing a vile act in front of a 17-year-old girl in Kettering, Northants., on December 12 last year, he told her: “I’m just taking a shit for you, a nice sloppy shit.” Three days later on December 15, he followed a new mum who was taking her newborn baby out in a pram. > > A court heard he walked in front of her before pulling out a plastic bag and defecating into it while staring at her. Fraser then targeted a 15-year-old girl on January 11 this year while she walked through Rockingham Pleasure Park to school. As he moved in front of her, he pulled down his trousers and defecated on the pavement, saying: “Nice shit, isn’t it?” He was later caught after police tracked him down using data from the Voi scooter and CCTV evidence. > >Fraser admitted three counts of outraging public decency and one of sexual activity in front of a child at Northampton Crown Court. He was given a 24 month community order to include 40 rehabilitation requirement days when he appeared at court on Thursday. Fraser was also ordered to sign the sex offenders’ register and is banned from working with children and vulnerable adults.

edit: removed dirty language censorship as it was messing with the markdown.

> One woman’s atypical relationship recently came to an end, and she’s now explained the reason why. > >Michele Köbke is a 36-year-old woman based in Berlin, Germany who has previously stated she was in a long-term relationship with a Boeing 737-800 airplane, one that lasted for roughly nine years. > >However, despite her previously shared ambition to marry the airplane, Köbke has now revealed that she is no longer in a relationship. > > Michele explained her situation to Blide, a German newspaper, in an interview that was later translated by the DailyMail UK: “We are separated, but we're still friends.” > >While considered peculiar by many people across the world, Michele is what experts call an objectophile, or someone who is attracted to inanimate objects. > > ... > > She once said of her relationship: "My cheeks hurt from smiling, I'm the happiest woman in the world - when I'm with him I have everything I need. > >“It's like a normal relationship, we have relaxing evenings together and when we go to bed, we cuddle and fall asleep together. > > “When I touch his wings, I get immediately sweaty palms and get excited.” > >She also spoke about the time she did get the chance to be up close and personal with her beloved aircraft, saying: “The time in the hangar was the most beautiful moment of my life and when I was with him, we enjoyed our time together, we kissed and I caressed him.” > >But like all relationships, they had their difficulties. > > Michele previously said: "A relationship with a plane is not easy and at times difficult. > >"I can only get close to him when I fly with him or when I can get to him in the hangar, which has only happened once in my life." > >The Boeing 737-800, which Michele took to calling Darling, was a major part of her life for nearly a decade, making her decision to disengage in the unique relationship a shocking one. > >However, she also has said that the time she did get to spend with Darling were some of the best experiences of her life. > > Now, in the wake of her relationship ending, Michele has sold most of her belongings related to the airplane but has not fully disengaged from her atypical relationship type. > >"I now love wearing knight’s armor," Köbke explained, now a devoted lover of the Middle Ages.

> One of the world’s rarest penguins has been crowned New Zealand’s bird of the year, in an unusually sedate year for the competition, free from the foreign interference and voting scandals of previous events. > >The endangered yellow-eyed penguin, or hoiho, is the largest of New Zealand’s mainland penguin species and is distinctive for the pale yellow band of feathers linking the eyes. > >The hoiho, meaning “noise shouter” in Māori due to its shrill call, lives along parts of the South Island’s east coast and in the sub-Antarctic Auckland Islands. The shy, fishy-smelling species tends to live in native coastal forests, scrub or dense flax. > > ... > > Over the years, the contest has become a lightning-rod for scandal, from crowning a bat the winner in 2021, to accusations of Russian interference in 2019, and claims Australians attempted to rig the contest in favour of the shag in 2018. > >The two-week competition attracted more than 52,000 verified votes – a significant drop compared with 2023’s event, which leapt to 350,000 votes across 195 countries after British-American comedian and talkshow host John Oliver ran a global campaign for the threatened pūteketeke – a grunting, puking bird with an unusual repertoire of mating rituals. > >Oliver’s self-described “alarmingly aggressive” campaign, including buying up billboards in New Zealand, Japan, France, the UK, India and the US state of Wisconsin. A plane with a pūteketeke campaign banner also flew over the beaches of Rio de Janeiro in Brazil. > >His efforts were rewarded when the pūteketeke was crowned the 2023 winner.

> Adreanna Shelton and her nine year old daughter Gray were at the Dollar Tree on South Bend Avenue shopping for a gift for Gray's teacher when Gray reached for a candle on the shelf. > >"We're smelling candles, and she picked up a candle to smell and tilted it back and it literally, liquid, went down her. At first we were like maybe it's just water, and as we were just walking through the store we get a foul smell and Gray goes, 'mom my shirt really stinks,'" said Shelton. > >That smell was urine sitting in the candle on the store shelf. > >Appalled by the stain and smell on her daughters shirt, Shelton went to a manager searching for answers. > >The store manager offered her a shirt as a replacement. > >"They have been telling me this has been happening over a month, and they're not able to catch the person doing it, and there's no cameras down the aisle where he is doing it, so the store employees, the manager, has asked corporate to put in cameras in those areas. And corporate just doesn't want to pay for those,"said Shelton.

> Policing Minister Dame Diana Johnson had her purse stolen from the hotel where she gave a speech at a conference for senior police officers on Tuesday. > >Thieves struck while Dame Diana was giving a speech blaming the Conservatives for an “epidemic of antisocial behaviour, theft and shoplifting,” at the annual Police Superintendents' Association (PSA) conference at a hotel in Kenilworth.

> The story grabbed headlines worldwide and has now led to a lawsuit against the Venetian Resort Las Vegas. > >A California tourist who stayed in the Venetian’s Palazzo Tower over the 2023 Christmas holiday said he was stung by a scorpion — while he was sleeping — and woke up to a searing pain in his groin area. > > 8 News Now first reported on this incident in March 2024, and since then, Farchi, 62, said the poisonous sting to his testicles has caused him to suffer PTSD and emotional trauma for which he continues to seek treatment. The incident has had ramifications on Farchi’s sex life, the lawsuit stated. > > “I can also indicate, as you saw in the complaint, we’re also making a claim for loss of consortium for Mr. Farchi’s wife,” said Brian Virag of “My Bed Bug Lawyer,” one of Farchi’s California attorneys. > >“Consortium” means that Farchi’s wife is making legal claims that their sex life hasn’t been the same since the sting. > > ... > > Farchi shared with 8 News Now photos of the scorpion hanging on his underwear. > > ... > > Farchi shared a medical incident report with 8 News Now that he filed at the Palazzo on December 26. It showed his suite number and what he wrote to hotel staff that night, “bitten by scorpion on my groin/testicles.” > >Farchi said the hotel staff didn’t take him seriously. > >“(They were) just holding their groin area and laughing about it,” he said. “It was really embarrassing.” > >Farchi went to Summerlin Hospital and was diagnosed with “Poisoning: Scorpion Sting,” according to the lawsuit. > >Farchi was also treated at UCLA Medical Center, where doctors confirmed he was suffering from physical injuries, including erectile dysfunction, as a result of the scorpion sting, the lawsuit stated.

> Andi Norton, 32, who also goes by the name Ben Havoc, said in an Instagram post earlier this month that he blew his nose and, “low and behold,” a Lego dot piece came out. > >Havoc explained that, when he was six years old, he put the Lego dot up his nose. > >The toy was “too small for me to reach in my nose and grab it,” he said. So, he said he “had the brilliant idea” of shoving a Lego man up his nose to collect it. > >“At this point, I’ve panicked loudly and my mom came in and, in her panic, she’s looking at my nose and seeing there’s a Lego head stuck in my nostril,” he said. > >His mom pulled out that second toy with a tweezer – believing it to be the only piece. > >For the last 26 years, Havoc said he has suffered from multiple breathing issues including asthma and has recently been diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea. > > He said that his doctor had recommended he blow his nose in the shower during the summer months in order to take advantage of the steam and humidity. > > After following that advice for the past six months, one day he got a big surprise when the Lego piece fell out of his nose.

> We recently took a look at a trio of calendars from Studio Ghibli. They’re all delightful creations for fans of the acclaimed animation house, but I know there are at least some people whose reaction is “Yeah, they’re nice and all, but I’m not really that big an anime fan. I’m more into cats…and specifically I’m more into cat testicles.” > >And hey, no problem, we’ve got you covered, in an uncovered way, on that front too! > > Preorders are currently open for the 2025 edition of the Nyantama Calendar. As always, I feel it’s my duty to explain the unusual linguistics involved. In Japanese, nyan is an onomatopoeia for a cat meowing, and by extension can be used to refer to cats themselves. Tama, meanwhile, means “orb” or “orbs” (Japanese doesn’t distinguish between singular and plural nouns), which is also a slang word for “testicles.” > >So yes, the Nyantama Calendar is a calendar with pictures prominently presenting cat balls. But how did calendar maker Hagoromo come up with this idea? It all goes back to Nikkan Gendai, a long-running gossip tabloid magazine. Once a year, Nikkan Gendai does a gag issue that’s all about cats and includes a nyantama photo collection. Reader surveys later revealed that the nyantama section was one of their favorite parts, and that positive reaction ispired the creaiton of the calendar. > > “Please feel soothed by the powered-up cat testicles,” says Hagoromo in the announcement that promises somehow-improved cat nuts compared to the previous iterations of the calendar, which has been published since at least 2022.

> A police force has said it is not treating the death of a patient found in a hospital catering oven as suspicious. > >The man was found dead at Kettering General Hospital in Northamptonshire. > >Northamptonshire Police said a report was being prepared for a coroner. > >The hospital said staff were working with the police. > >Northamptonshire Police said it was called to the "sudden death" of the man at the hospital on Friday. > >It added in a statement: "We are not treating this death as suspicious and will be preparing a report for the coroner."

> Prince Philip was meant to meet an alien called ‘Janus’ at a flat in Chelsea, a new documentary has rather casually claimed. > >The King of UFOs, which will be streaming on Amazon and Tubi on September 20, described how the late Duke of Edinburgh’s engineering background made him passionate about all things extraterrestrial. > >So meeting an alien was an offer that the husband of Queen Elizabeth struggled to refuse, apparently. > > The film’s director, Mark Christopher Lee, told Metro.co.uk that the meeting was arranged by the Prince’s top aide at the time, Sir Peter Horsley. > >‘Horsley actually met this Janus entity in a flat in Chelsea in 1954 – he claimed that it had an ethereal otherworldly quality and it could read his mind and extract information about flying saucers,’ Lee said. > > The pair were pencilled in to meet at a flat along Smith Street, a small residential road about a 10-minute walk away from what is now Sloane Square Tube station, on a ‘winter’s evening’. > > ‘Horsley wanted Phillip to meet with this Janus as Janus had a message to give him that the world needed saving as Philip was a man of great vision,’ Lee added. > >‘Philip didn’t go to the meeting – and it’s most likely that Janus could have been a Russian spy – but Horsley stuck to his belief that Janus was not of this world.’ > > ... > > Horsley did mention this possible close encounter in his memoir, Sounds From Another Room, in which he described a serious ‘Mr Janus’ with an intimate knowledge of aliens that UFO experts have widely interpreted as being extraterrial.

Previously:

• Documentary claims 'paranormal library in Palace' as Charles seeks 'UFO truth'
• Wild claims King Charles 'flew UFO to save lives' in secret military mission

> In a stark demonstration of how award-winning breakthroughs can come from the most unlikely directions, researchers have won an Ig Nobel prize for discovering that mammals can breathe through their anuses. > >After a series of tests on mice, rats and pigs, Japanese scientists found the animals absorb oxygen delivered through the rectum, work that underpins a clinical trial to see whether the procedure can treat respiratory failure. > > The team is among 10 recognised in this year’s Ig Nobel awards (see below for more), the irreverent accolades given for achievements that “first make people laugh, and then make them think”. They are not to be confused with the more lucrative and career-changing Nobel prizes to be handed out in Scandinavia next month. > > ... > > Other work honoured on the night included US research to house pigeons in missiles to help guide them to their targets; UK investigations which found that claims of extreme old age tend to come from areas that have short average lifespans and and a historical lack of birth certificates, and a French study which found that scalp hair tends to whorl in a clockwise direction, though less so in the southern hemisphere.