jasondj @ jasondj @ttrpg.network Posts 0Comments 673Joined 2 yr. ago
Perhaps there’s a breakdown in communication that you’re missing.
They want to be a character designer. They have a very set definition of what that is, and they see it as a sole persons job. Ultimatey, they don’t have the exposure to reality to conceptualize how the corporate (or even the starving-artist) world works to know that a single “character” has multiple levels to their design that are each a very integral part of the finished product, and each of those requires a very specific focus and set of skills…whether that be concept art, clay modeling, 3D modeling, graphic design, wardrobe, voice-acting, makeup, backstory, dialogue, etc.
Helping them to understand that will help them to understand the need to specialize, hopefully towards something they already have some natural aptitude in. And that specialization (as a writer, or artist, or fashionista) will have value in job markets outside of whatever field they peg “character design” in. Now they have multiple career options while still being able to practice the craft that brings them enjoyment.
Helping you to understand that may help you to understand why so much “character development” is contractor work. Except it’s not just the piecemeal nature of it, that’s just how corporate world is now. Steady W2 work is hard to come by for a lot of careers in the space between “high school diploma or GED required” and “must have at least 3 post-graduate degrees in a related field and 20 years of work experience in a field that only existed for 10”.
Just don’t stress the multiple options too much. They sound like the type of person who would get analysis paralysis. That’s not a bad thing in itself, it means they are very aware of action/consequence…it just leads to some bit of anxiety which then results in a stalemate.
It sounds like the lesson your kid needs to learn now is how to cope with things after your parents stop micromanaging you and it all falls apart.
This sounds like something my therapist helped me realize about both my kid and myself.
When things come easy and naturally, we (my kid and myself, possibly your kid as well) appear as rockstars, and we feel as rockstars. We get recognized and praised for things that we excel at with little effort.
Thats great and all…until effort is needed. And then panic. And the natural response to that is fight/flight/freeze.
Compounding that, we let perfect be the enemy of good. Subliminally, failing with minimal effort is more acceptable to us than putting in a ton of effort for anything that won’t stroke our egos more than something that comes easily.
This is basically perfectionism.
Now, add ADHD to that and you’ve got quite a mess. You’ve got someone who can easily hyperfocus on things that you don’t want/need them to do, because they get that sweet sweet dopamine…and they are going to hyperfocus because it’s so much easier than working hard and not getting the dopamine.
Honestly I don’t think there’s much to do for it except realization and cognitive behavior therapy. For both of you. Your part is equally important. If they complete a task you need to show honest appreciation for it, even the small stuff. Your tone in these posts comes across as a bit frustrated and fed up. If that tone carries across to your conversation with your kid, they will pick up on that and it’ll contribute to the feedback loop…”why should I even bother if dad doesn’t care”.
Celebrating small victories (tincluding he “participation trophies” that boomers love to joke about while they themselves popularized them) isn’t about empty gestures or making everybody feel special just for warm and fuzzies. It’s a subtle psychological trick to prevent exactly what you’re facing.
This could have been written about me by the parents I do not speak to anymore.
Samesies. And it can be said the same about my kid by me. Fortunately he’s only 4. That’s why I’m in therapy.
You talked an awful lot about your kid.
How are you doing?
Your 18yo sounds like a grown up version of my 4.5 year old. Honestly if you said the arguments were about potty training we’d be talking about the same person.
How were they, when they started living with you full time, with regards to pottying? Difficult? Regressive? Headstrong?
I ask because how you are doing, because I started seeing a therapist for my own struggles with parenting. And it’s probably the best thing I’ve ever done. It really gives a chance to reflect and get honest constructive feedback on how I approach and handle interactions and discipline and whatnot. Most importantly, how to deal with stresses of parenting a difficult kid and not criticize yourself too harshly at every setback.
Please, if you haven’t already, consider a therapist for you, preferably one who specializes in family issues.
I really dislike Home Depot after a series of huge customer service mishaps with me last year, and actively avoid going there now.
Which is a shame because I have a lot of Ryobi One tools. They are perfectly positioned for weekend warriors…huge tool library, good batteries, affordable and of fairly decent quality (certainly well above “junk” and a good value for the money).
Shame that is a store-exclusive brand.
The worst part is I’ve bought into most of the cordless tools I’d really need. The day might come where I want a larger circular saw (mines only 5.5 and it is prone to binding if your technique isn’t perfect, and even then…) or find that some of the tools that I’m okay with having corded (like a jigsaw or an angle grinder) I now need a cordless replacement. At that point I’ll likely find myself buying into a better and more expensive battery system and, for quite a while, only having the one seldom-used tool for it.
Now I’ve got a dead 4Ah battery and I’m on the fence as to rebuild it, buy a new one, or take it as an opportunity to start going into a new battery system.
I’ve only ever seen the opposite…power inverters that run off the batteries…
Dude was raised in a Jewish family and volunteered with his wife in Israel in college.
Mad props for ever speaking out about Israel, IMO.
Don’t let your dreams just be dreams! Go out and find some kids and help them make their wish come true!
And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.
Bitches got their dad drunk and raped him till they got pregnant.
No porn in religion, my hairy ass. I could nut 5 times before I finish reading Genesis. God damn bible practically starts off as a collection of “Dear Penthouse” columns for wealthy literate men who liked wearing colorful gowns.
Then spend a day or two in sex ed every year talking about responsible porn consumption. Jfc this isn’t rocket science.
We’re talking about boobs and penises here people. Chances are you have at least one of those. This is just penetration and masturbation in realistic and fantasy settings. This isn’t profane, this is nature.
The truly disgusting part of porn isn’t the sex.
Says the not fascist….
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You made me realize that we always think of infinity as an immensely large number, but it can be an immensely small number (0.0(infinite)1).
We imagine the vastness of space and forget that people are studying what makes up quarks.
So thanks for making me realize infinity stretches in both the inifinitely large and the infinitely small. Wasn’t expecting to get a ride on the total perspective vortex from showerthoughts today.
Sent from Lemmy for SmartToilet
I’ve been alone with my thoughts. Ultimately it leads to depression but sometimes I get some good masturbating along the way.
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Lookin' for a lover Who won't blow my cover She's so hard to find.
Are you implying the woman in Winslow AZ is a beard? Or MtF? Or perhaps this is a sudden realization of a preference for female anatomy with male social behaviors?
40% renewables for electricity.
Not to make perfect be the enemy of good, or to poo-poo that progress…but electricity is only 1/3 of GHG. And demand for electricity goes up with the move towards EVs, so while we take the energy out of the “transportation” column, we put it into the “electricity” column, at a 60% discount.
Thats…good. It’s progress. But it’s honestly such a baby-step in the grand scheme. We should be using green energy and EVs exclusively by now, and significantly cut down on meat and dairy consumption. We should be a lot further by now.
I blame Nader, the hanging chads, and Bush v. Gore…but mostly Nader. Had he not run in 2000, the majority of his voters, particularly in FL, would’ve voted for Gore. Nader got 97,488 votes in FL. Bush won by five hundred and thirty seven votes. That…the spoiler effect that resulted from an idealist candidate (and the shortfalls of FPTP, not to mention electoral college), is making perfect the enemy of good.
The same could also have been said of NH, by the way. 22,198 votes for Nader, Bush won by a margin of a third of that. Either FLs 25 or NHs 4 EC votes would’ve flipped the election and the course of history.
Hey man, if it’s brown shoot it down. Thats the American way.
That’s actually a requirement?
Do they have to hold up the Holy Grail and yell out “Jewmanji”, too?
How do you feel about creators plugging their own product…for example, when Mark Rober (YouTube celebrity, engineer) plugs Crunchlabs (his subscription/box service for STEM kits for kids)?
Or when people plug their Patreons?
Not your circus not your monkey. I wouldn’t be so quick to be diagnosing other peoples kids, but if you’re concerned about her behaviors, I think that would merit a (friendly, civil) conversation with her grownups.
I would also say to steer clear of picking your kids friends for them (and that includes excluding people from being their friends). Thats a a parents doomsday weapon. You save that for kids who really rub you the wrong way. That breeds resentment. If you have concerns about their friends and who they associate with, you need to progress to that tool after weighing other options…most importantly, starting with having a mature and respectful dialogue with your kid about the types of people they associate with. They are at the right age that you can and should be having serious grownup conversations with them and connecting with them as if they are more of an adult and less of a kid. Give them the respect they deserve as long as it is reciprocated.