jasondj @ jasondj @ttrpg.network

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2 yr. ago

Do these nimcompoops realize that the existing wealthy elite, few in their number, got that way by exploiting social safetynets and taxpayer funded infrastructure for their gains?

So cleary, if we want to be able to generate more wealth and more millionaires/billionaires, better social programs and infrastructure will get them there. Imagine how much easier it’ll be to become wealthy if you don’t have to give employees insurance, or tuition reimbursement? Or if there’s an amazing system of roads, rails, and ports to move your goods to consumers? God, you could become a successful businessman and still have a conscious. Best of both worlds.

People die in work related incidents all the time. The only thing different about deaths from NASA incidents is that they are (usually) spectacular incidents (like massive explosions or cabin fires…not good things, just stunning) and high-profile.

SpaceX does well because they basically ignore Elon.

There’s no “arrange-by-penis”.

In 38 I just got big balls.

Poseidon’s Kiss.

Happens more as you get older and the boys start to dangle lower each year.

But there’s got to be a reason why Trump wanted to get rid of metal detectors at only this event and never one before it, right?

Right?

Dude got fucking rekt by Xena lol.

This is a perfect example of “Gaslight, Obstruct, Project”.

And nobody would’ve died so it would’ve been overreach and unnecessary.

Do I go back in time to when I was 6, or do I remain in the current timeline, but 6 years old?

I’d imagine with all my memories and knowledge and basically being an adult, I’d probably have…desires…that vastly exceed my age. So that’d be pretty awkward.

In the current timeline would be interesting. I’d have to get a remote job that doesn’t need me on video, but assuming my paperwork still says my original birth year, I could probably keep on renewing my license for several years and at least have a valid adult ID. Even if I can’t drive or buy my own weed/booze, I could still maintain employment at least until I have an adult body. I’m assuming the sorcerer also gave me an identity that matched my new body, so I could probably coast through college at some point

But the weirdest thing would be being able to be both my kids peer and their parent.

It’s like loading a save file from a couple months before you beat the game.

How many people has the context key on their keyboard? Or scroll lock? Or F6-F9 and F11?

Plenty of other options out there. Even keyboard-centric people rarely use those keys unless they have an app that explicitly uses it.

You seem to be in a better space now reading your more recent comments. I’m hoping that means you’ve taken the opportunity to breathe and look at the big picture, holistically and objectively.

It sounds like you honestly want to be a present and positive influence in your kids life. That’s great. The problem now is that your kid isn’t very receptive to it.

From what I see, that’s a combination of normal teenagerdumb, plus some added neurodivergency, depression, and being LGBTQ in a world that sends a lot of mixed messages as to whether or not it’s ready to accept them. Thats tough. You have my deepest sympathies.

The wetting on walks or going out is exactly what my therapist has forwarned me about if we’re not able to get past our potty training regressions. Turns out anal retentive behavior in toddlerhood, if not worked out actually works out to poor personality traits in adulthood. And, it turns out anal retentive behavior can be a lot to do with how potty training was even handled. It can easily lead to a power struggle, holding until discomfort, or even holding till constipation pushes on the bladder and they can’t help but pee right now.

So, maybe, if you want to blame your ex for something, you can blame her for that.

Don’t forget that there is another option. You leave them alone and let them work things out on their own. Be present and supportive, let them know that you’re there for them, and give them space and time and comfort to sort it out themselves. If this is the path you go on, it’s critical that you mind your attitude, especially around them. You don’t want to do anything to give them the perception that they are unwelcome. Calling doing so a triggerfest would be a bad thing. It’s imperative to realize that they are in a dark spot. They need help but at the same time want to be left alone. They are getting torn apart from the inside at several levels. Any reaction they give is just that…a reaction. For a depressed person, the person they present to the world is a shell of themselves running on autopilot. There’s a ton going on below the surface and that’s where all their focus is, and they just want you to get away from it, because your presence is harming their recovery.

If you haven’t experienced depression before, congratulations.

Though it sounds like you may be even starting to. Constantly fighting battles to end in a stalemate at best every time is a good way to get there. It’s bad enough you two are feeding off each other, it’ll be worse when you’re both in the pits of it.

Hard work fine, and hard work good…but first take care of head.

Your kid really sounds a lot like I did at that age. Reclusive (that may come across as lazy), hotheaded, etc. If you hadn’t already, I implore you to read my response to another commenter giving a story on how that played out.

This sounds like depression on top of all else. I wouldn’t take the reclusiveness personally. Shutting you out like that is them metaphorically curling up into a ball and shutting off the outside world.

It’s funny because I was just thinking about that point in my life, when I was going through depression. It’s obvious to me, looking back, but hindsight is 20:20.

I thought about this, because my nephews dad has stage iv cancer, and I worry about him and what he’ll do without his dad around (I never personally cared for the dad, I wish him well and got no ill will towards him, we just never clicked, but the nephews a good kid and a blank slate who got handed shitty parents with money who try to use the money to make up for being shitty people….but I digress).

Anyways, final stop on the thought train…I started wishing that I had some sort of adult mentor/life-coach/confidant…someone with wisdom, who is open minded, and most importantly not my parents. Essentially a therapist but in a much more casual level. Like Tommy Chong in That 70s Show. A second dad. I feel like uncles are supposed to fill that role but it could really be my trusted mature adult they have a close relationship with.

Somebody like that would have been so helpful in dealing with all the pressures that went along with being a teenager (and I’m sure it’s actually a million times worse now, with social media and being always on and hustle-culture and a quite uncertain environmental and political future (and that, for your kid, probably even worse being LGBTQ), on tops of just getting through school. There were a million things I needed guidance on but just could not talk to (gasp) my parents about. We just didn’t have that kind of relationship, and I had nowhere to go.

Does your kid have anybody like that? Because it sounds like they desperately need someone older and wiser to speak candidly about their life with, and they aren’t seeing you as that person. And don’t take that personally. I’m sure you had plenty of things you needed to talk to an adult about when you were growing up, but wouldn’t dare think of asking your parents, too.

Aside from that…the bonding activities that you suggested…are these things that they enjoy? If there’s depression then they may not want to be out eating in public with their dad. Let alone being in a large crowd (especially if they are neurodivergent and can get overstimulated easily like at a concert).

Thinking critically if you’ve shared these events in the past, did they really enjoy it? Or were they trying to make you happy, or did they feel obligated (and now, being older, they maybe now feel a bit more confident in saying no).

How’s the weather where you are? Maybe a nice walk or a bike ride. Something quiet. Calm. Casual. Where there’s privacy enough for a good conversation but still not feeling totally isolated with you. And as corny as it sounds, light exercise is really, really good for depression. Something about sunlight and fresh air that just does your mind good.

My guess is either their landlord, their hospital, their bank, their supermarket, or their college. Not an actual gun, just metaphorical. A lot of drivers are just desperate to make ends meet however they can. There’s a lot of shit to be said about the gig economy, but it does provide flexible schedules, and while some people just want to monetize as much of their time as possible, some people actually need to.

What the fuck is the point of an indicator after you’d already started the action. That light ain’t indicating any more about the driver than the fact that they bought a Tesla after 2022, and that tells you everything you need to know about them.

No worries. Good luck.

Please see my last comment (chronologically, before this one in my profile). Your initial post hits especially close to home for me because I’ve been on both sides, both as a parent (currently, feeling the same type of frustrations, albeit not as fermented), and as the kid (having been in the position your kid would be in if finding this post a couple years from now).

Story time.

The really funny thing is that the turning point in my relationship with my parents was when I googled a friends name. He was a musician.

I had a CD of his that I lost in a car that I sold to a rando on Craigslist a few years prior to our story.

When I googled him I found a blog where he had started documenting restoring this car (a 1990 Volvo wagon, of all things). He had found my friends CD. The blog went dark after only a few posts but I was intrigued. He catalogued a few other things of mine he found in the car, namely a wig that I used in a costume, and an herb grinder (which he documented as a wig-care-product) and I was amused at the stories he was coming up with for my stuff.

Googled the guy. Found him on an enthusiasts forum for this type of car (honestly the internet is an amazing thing).

Found a post from him from where he was introducing himself and plugging the aforementioned blog a couple days after the first blogpost.

In the post, he talked at length about the process of buying the car, including a very specific anecdote from when we test drove it.

I wasn’t home to actually handle the sale of the car. My dad was. And apparently my dad ranted to this complete stranger about how much of a shit kid I am. In so much length and detail that this random person felt the need to retell his rant on the internet to countless other random strangers, including me…said shit kid.

That rant sounded exactly like op.

Next place my mind went…what are the odds that of all the random strangers my dad meets in a day, and out of all the people in his actual circle, the only one he vented to about me would also write a post documenting it for me to stumble on by accident? Probably zero. Ergo he must’ve been talking shit about me to anyone who would listen.

In retrospect I admit I was a shit kid (well, presenting as a shit kid). But in retrospect I also realize that I was through a pit of depression and anxiety and a ton of shit that came along with it. And later diagnosed with ADHD. In retrospect, it should have been painfully obvious to anyone, but especially my parents. But instead of doing anything constructive, it was met with hostility and anger and resentment, and fights constantly broke out over petty shit.

Thats why I feel fine admitting that I was absolutely acting shitty at the time, but I don’t feel fine repairing that bridge after reading all the things he said about me to a complete stranger. What a massive gut punch it is to read such hurtful things about you, from your own father, on a public forum.

You two are stuck in a feedback loop. It’s a really tough spot to be in until you realize it and work on it.

Anxiety in a hostile environment (or the perception of being in a hostile environment) will be met with reciprocal hostility. And then things escalate, and then repressed, and it continues. You two are fanning each others flames. You may be more alike than you realize or care to admit.

Good luck finding a therapist. Remember it’s a lot like dating…you may get lucky on the first meeting, you might find yourself completely incompatible with them, or you may find someone that you’re comfortable enough with to build a good rapport with over multiple sessions.

It honestly sounds like you could cut the tension in your house with a knife.

Y’all need to chill. You both need individual therapy so you can both figure out a constructive way to unpack your relationship and essentially fight a proxy war between your two therapists.

Moreover, you two need serious, positive, parent/offspring bonding. You need to realize that your kid doesn’t feel welcome in your house or around you. They feel trapped because they have no other option. This is a highly stressful situation. It’s met with tension and panic and fight/flight/freeze. This is plain as day to see if you step back and breathe for a moment. Figure out something you two can enjoy where there’s little outside responsibility and maybe the two of you can share a smile. It sounds like you desperately need that.