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Where do *you* meet sexual partners?
  • Only monogamous relationship for me, yeah.

    I did try other options, friends with benefits and stuff, but nothing actually compares to me, not even close, with the partner who intimately knows me, cares about me on all levels, and knows of all the things that turn me on.

    Besides, sex in relationships is a continuation of a deeper feeling, a way to express love and a special kind of gentleness. Yeah, I'd say sex is very romantic to me.

    But nothing bad with other options if you're into it! Monogamous folks are often portrayed as boring puritans who tell people what to do, so I'll stress that - you do you, but my drive works this way. And boy can monogamous sex get kinky...

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    Folks of Lemmy, what would you like for all your sexual partners to know/understand?
  • That's my point - those are not "unexpected hook-ups" (I never feel comfortable with those), those are events in a relationship they could absolutely prepare for, and something that normally comes with a greater level of intimacy.

    Changing a bed is unreasonably costly, materially and financially, besides, bed is not necessarily associated with sex.

    Getting new condoms is a matter of spending beer money at a nearest pharmacy.

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    Folks of Lemmy, what would you like for all your sexual partners to know/understand?
  • Heavily doubling down on everything you say here!

    I am big, too, and that DOES NOT MEAN I AM NOT GENTLE!

    Those who know me close, of course, know me as a cuddly and kind and gentle person; girlfriend knows more about it, including sexual stuff, and loves me for that, to which I am very grateful.

    Interesting you mentioned your wife drove to see you - I just recently came back from seeing my girl, around 700 miles away, and finally, October to November, she will be able to move in with me. You just added some bright hopes :)

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    Folks of Lemmy, what would you like for all your sexual partners to know/understand?
  • I have nothing against sex being "dirty, smelly, awkward, weird, funny, and stupid". I'm all for a natural passion that is not a refined picture, nor am I all puritan. In fact, I'd very much allow her to use my toothbrush and pillow should she want it (hot if I think about it), but I'd rather give her what pleases her best :D

    I know someone has been there before, I just don't need to be reminded of that with items that were actively used in such process. And yeah, as a fairly monogamous keeper, I'd rather not have someone after unless there's a good reason for us to break up.

    Also, yes, on your point, "no" means "no", and I'd rather have other words from her should we go full BDSM. This would otherwise introduce a lot of anxiety about hurting her, even if it's CNC.

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    Folks of Lemmy, what would you like for all your sexual partners to know/understand?
  • Yeah, had to mention vibrators or something else that was exclusively used on her is generally fine.

    To be clear - this is not a sign of insecurity, not retroactive jealousy, either. This is just a simple wish to not interact with anything sexual used by the other guy I never chose to be intimate with and who can be gross to me, even if this is a pack of otherwise separate condoms. Like, it's not hard or expensive to replace - just buy a damn pack at the nearest pharmacy - and regardless of how much your partner cares, you won't lose anything either way. And I feel like I'm not the only person in the world caring for such matters.

    I feel like as much as we try to make it less of a deal, this is just innately uncomfortable for many - not through insecurities it's often written off to, but rather through the nature of the intimate, of the highly personal. I want for our sex life to be ours alone in all aspects, not because someone else was "better" - I seem to be good and skillful and attractive - but because they, for all their previous experience with her, are not invited.

    Also, heavily agree on vague answers and signs that partner is pressured. This is a no-go.

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    Do you find genitals attractive?
  • Yes, I find genitals generally the most sexual part of a human body, no matter dick or vagina.

    Though different people have different preferences. As a general rule of thumb among the people I know, men are much more likely to find genitals and breasts in particular attractive, and women more commonly enjoy the visualization or fantasies of what is actually done with less regard to what is shown, and more commonly find more explicit images to be quite meh or a turn off. But there are indeed exceptions to both.

    Also, shaven.

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    Folks with a vagina, how does vaginal penetration compare to anal penetration?
  • Yeah you described it even further, and I generally agree. Also yes, anus itself as the muscle does feel the texture way stronger (which, btw, acts as a great reminder to lubricate very well).

    Normally, the diameter is listed IIRC, and I generally understand the size of 1,75". I'm personally no size king though and go 1" as a comfort option and 1,4" when I want to feel it hard. Anything above that just feels straight uncomfortable no matter how much I relax.

    I'll check Qualia out on those terms, thank you!

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    Folks with a vagina, how does vaginal penetration compare to anal penetration?
  • Cis guy here.

    As per penetrating anus/vagina, the sensations are similar but not quite the same. I'd say I actually prefer vaginal penetration more - while vaginas are somewhat less tight, that's not necessarily a bad thing, and in my case my dick is better stimulated with a vagina.

    As per the description of sensations, I feel like they can be described in a similar way, and generally it's like your dick is in a warm wet cushion, but the one that also grips the dick and stimulates it well. But anal is a bit rougher and harder and more "meaty", and vaginal is a bit softer and actually "cushion-y" (both are generally soft and comfy though).

    As per being anally fucked, it feels...interesting. Like, the strapon/dildo (didn't try actual penis) isn't felt as precisely as it would be if you grip it with your hand, and it rather feels like a sensation of fullness, of something inside causing you to feel good in the general area of it, and sending impulses straight to the penis, as well as getting sensations in the prostate area similar to when you consciously try to make your penis harder/do kegel exercises. Something along these lines.

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    What nonsexual characteristics do you admire most about your partner?
  • The beautiful contrast between a smart stylish career-driven lady in public and a silly goofy smiley girlfriend the moment we're alone :D

    Her softest hugs and shiny eyes, her great taste in everything from clothing to anime, her strong will to improve, her gentle care - a lot of things at once.

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    Pollux @lemmynsfw.com
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