I have a catalogue of positive affirming interactions in my head, and I use those memories to balance out the dysphoria when it hits. When its one of those times you just cannot shake it, I talk to a friend over coffee and something REEEAALLY sweet
She stayed by me, through thick and thin, as my ex came close to ruining my life. She begged for me to leave, she even went toe to toe with my ex as violence entered our relationship, so many situations where she had my back, without care for own safety. I just couldnt leave, I still love the person my ex was (and at times, still is - but the alcohol slowly won the war), we have a child together and years of memories, its still hard to completely let go. There was one time too much, one time where I saw in her eyes she couldnt do it anymore, and she walked away. And useless me just watched, crushed those emotions deep inside and went on.
My ex, is my ex, not because I was strong enough to walk away in the end, but because my ex decided they had had enough of me, and blamed me for their alcoholism.
I know our friendship is dead and gone Lisa. But thank you for being there. It helped to not be alone during most of that time.
I am in the same boat. My body is all out of proportion as I have dropped weight at the top and bottom, but the stomach just keeps on defying physics. I am beyond frustrated
I am a scientist and I used to use SAS for stats, and then started doing loads of bioinformatics in R. Institute decided they werent going to license SAS anymore, and didnt tell us. We get an email the day of, to say no more SAS. Then we have to drop evrything and concert all our SAS models into R.... Cue bitching from instiute leaders as to why we had to halt all publications. Idiots.
I use R for all sorts of bioinformatics shenanigens, and I remind myself daily I am not a nerd. Even my rows of warhammer books, minis and Corvus Corax poster confirm to me I am not a nerd.....
The Emperor Protects....my code
This. I am tired of people slotting next to me and thinking thats gives them the right to act like a creep.... Or deciding that washing is optional.