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Just being polite
Just being polite
31 comments
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And this is why I never ask those types of questions to be polite. If I ask how you're doing I actually really do want to know. I deliberately make that distinction.
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Speaking from a US cultural standpoint, most people don't do this though. Because of this if someone asks "how are you doing?," there is a script that runs in my brain that just translates it to mean "Hello."
There's nothing more soul crushing than showing emotional vulnerability and then promptly being told you're a burden and have misinterpreted abstract social signals. Always better to just...not 🤷
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I, on the other hand make it a point to brutality answer the intended question for shock and awe value in the hopes people stop being so stupid asking those questions. It's always fun seeing people panic and thinking where they can go hide to stop hearing about all the uncomfortable stuff I'm telling.
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Sameisch here, but we don't talk much if i don't want to know how you are doing.
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As a foreigner to the US, not understanding their etiquette. I always trauma dump and break down in tears when the cashier asks: “Hi, how are you today?”
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Good. That'll teach them not to ask such deep questions of a stranger. If they want to get all personal with someone who doesn't know them, they should face consequences.
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It's more of a British thing, but "alright mate?" is used as a greeting. If someone takes it literally and tells me how they are, then that's super cool, because it just saves me asking my second question.
That said, on the few occasions I've visited the US, I've greeted someone with an "alright dude" and they've looked at me a bit puzzled like "...yes?" which is cool too.
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I don't know what your talking about, I live in the most American part of America (That being Texas of course) and we use "How ya' doin'. All right" all the time.
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? American's aren't expecting a literal response, it's a greeting here as well. I think you misread the speaker, or more likely, they misread you. Maybe they thought Brits would take it as a literal question?
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You can answer honestly but it's a greeting, not an invitation to take over the whole conversation to talk about yourself.
Them: "How are you doing"
You: "Pretty bad to be honest, but I'm hanging in there"
And from there you either get:
Them: "I'm sorry to hear that I hope it gets better"
You: "Thanks"
Them: "So I wanted to ask about your TPS reports..."
Or :
Them: "Oh no, what's going on?"
You: "Well I'm having a lot of mental health issues..."
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We should follow the Lithuanian form of greeting your coworkers: walk into the room without making eye-contact and sit impassively at your desk.
If anyone tries to convince you that the day is "good", nod gruffly.
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I'm sold. Gonna move to Lithuania post haste.
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nods impassively, and then ignores you politely
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I often answer the question, but only a sentence or two. Then I ask what's up with them.
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In China their version is this greeting is "have you eaten yet?". This also should not be taken as a invite to way over share about your eating habbits to strangers. You can interpret either as Hi.
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Reminds me of what a Finnish lady told me about her interaction with an American.
American: We should do this again some time!
Finnish lady: Ok, when?
American: Oh, no, it's just a saying.
Finnish lady: Ok, so you're just a liar.
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The correct answer to panel 3 is: "No, you weren't"
This is social gaslighting and the humiliation cost of expecting complicity should be steep
31 comments