For me, it was learning English. Although I do make a few mistakes here and there, I'm mostly perfect on it.
The amount of resources you have access to dramatically increases when you know a universal language. I say dramatically because it made me realize how much my native language lacks when it comes to certain topics. The most obvious one to me was tech and computers. Everybody knows how to use Windows but there are very few resources about stuff beyond Windows. It's actually sad. [insert sad face here]
Marrying my wife. She is so smart and strong. We make a great team and we have been able to resolve the various conflicts of 15 years. I couldn't have chosen a better partner.
A “friend” started a company and hired me. It was pretty fun for a year. Then it became pretty bad — real bad. I quit on the spot after a verbal abuse session where I demanded more respect and my “friend” / boss literally said “no.”
It’s been a little over a year since I quit. Lived in my car for some of it, otherwise took odd jobs here and there where I could rent a room temporarily.
I’m at the end of this insane journey — starting a new job in a couple months. It’s been rough but I still think it was the right decision. Curious to see myself in 6 months to a year.
Anyway, felt like this was somewhat similar to your case.
It's rough as hell, friend. I'm glad you're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. With a little hard work and a lot of luck I was able to buy a house a few years after I went through the homelessness thing. I hope the same for you.
Oh hell yes it is. I didn't stay too long (I'm notorious for leaving anything I'm unhappy with) but it was only good for like the first couple of weeks. I honestly should have known better but I was 18.
And for all the folks saying that getting married is the best thing to happen to them, I only have one thing to say: good! I'm glad it's working for you and your spouse!
Asked my boss to relocate me to another country 5 years ago. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I’m glad I even asked in the first place, because no one else had done it at the time.
It wasn't my decision, but getting fired from an exhausting job was amazing for me. I wasn't going to pull the trigger myself, but walking out of my boss's office I couldn't keep a huge grin off my face. I was in no rush to find a new job so the months of uneployment that followed were some of the happiest of my life. And I have a better job now that pays less but is so much less stressful.
Moving to California. Happened on a whim. Change my life completely because I didn't fit in my conservative state and would never have achieved actual happiness. Also, continuing therapy.
I had resigned myself to my life being over. But when we started pushing for kids, I started noticing relief whenever it didn’t work. I realized that while I might have been willing to sacrifice myself to her, I wasn’t willing to sacrifice kids.
So I did the unthinkable, and I called it all off. It was horribly sad, but now after five years out, I’m feeling like myself again. I shudder to think of that zombified state I was living in.
I realised a relationship was doomed when I had a pregnancy scare. I was overjoyed when I got my period, and he told me he was sad. The man already had 3 kids by 3 different women, none of whom he saw, and I was like wtf how does he think I'd have a kid with him?? We broke up not long after. And every time I see him around town I thank my lucky stars I didn't get stuck with him, as well as embarrassment I was with him in the first place.
Someone convinced me to study computer science 20 years ago. The career possibilities with good money and easy work have put the rest of life on easy mode (for now).
Even meeting my wife and having my family would never have happend without that decision.
Asking out my partner. They're my favorite person. I pity the alternate timeline version of me who didn't have the guts to make a move. They're really missing out.
Probably having kids. Got pregnant at 23, went back to school, slowly, got a much better job when I finished. Do not think I would have done without having the kids, and they have brought so much joy into my life.
But I always knew I wanted kids so not sure that counts.
Wearing a very slightly alternative outfit to the mall in the 1980s may actually have saved my life. I was so alienated at school, for a lot of reasons, and falling in with these slightly older punks who looked after me at shows and just generally got me into that scene really made me feel I had a place - I wouldn't say it was wholesome by any stretch but without that group I am pretty sure I would have just died, probably from anorexia as a teen. Good and bad came from it but I am very, very happy for that day.
Was taking 2 gap years in education. Where I worked a year, and took firefighters education for 9 month, where I met my now wife, after that traveled for 2 month, before I continued my education with computer science.
Honestly there's a lot of things I know all contributed to where I am. But I'm fairly certain I would have a far worse life if I hadn't gone to college.
Going to therapy.
I found out the reason I could't sleep anymore was deeper than just being stressed out during a particular time frame of my life, but it was the last ring of a chain of bad (but apparently "normal") decisions that started a long time ago.
Apparently not, or those would've become the universal.
History is what caused it. Though it's pretty fascinating that in Shakespeare's time, English (in England) was considered the commoner's tongue, while the upper classes spoke French.
This is part of Shakespeare's legacy (he wrote and performed in English) , and also shows why the early documents in America are worded the way they are. No American says "four score and 20 years", that's from French.
I mean the options at the time were English, French and maybe Spanish with Dutch being a distant 4th so... Not really? Nowadays your options are English or Mandarin.
Making new year resolutions and actually following through with them until i have succeeded. Each new year, if i completed my previous year goal, i will spend some time thinking about what i could do to best improve my life. i also very carefully word the resolution, so i am not able to 'cheat' in any way.
I started off by doing something i saw as a joke. the resolution was to watch every episode and movie of star trek, star wars and dr who. After accomplishing this goal (after 3 years) i realized that making the goal specific is more important. a vague goal that says "do better" in some way is bad. it is better, for me, to aim for a reasonable and achievable goal.
For example, "losing weight" is a bad. if i never stopped losing weight, it would be worse than if i never stopped gaining weight. if i make the goal "get to, then stay within 180-200 pounds", it is a good goal. (for my height, this is a healthy range).
i started doing this in 2006. since starting i have quit drinking alcohol, quit illegal drugs and reconnected with family members i lost contact with, during the time i was doing the other two.
the most recent goal i made, in 2020, is actually the opposite of my first goal: quit watching tv and movies, quit playing videogames and educate myself as much as possible, until i get a college degree (this is difficult. i have developmental disorders) or buy a house. since they are harder goals than before, i gave myself a deadline of before 2030 begins.
For example, about what amount of savings you want to have by which date, or set a date when you want to have a clear concise description of what kind of house and location you are looking for.
At another date you want to be familiar with all the things that involve buying a house, the documents and what not.
By defining sub goals you keep things real and are able to measure your position towards your goal.
It's a valid strategy for dealing with complex and long term stuff.
If you are actually interested there was movement, not sure if still going, a few years ago called financial independence. It was r/financialindependence. One of their influencers was Mr Money Moustache. You can look that up if you want
At the risk of repeating what others have posted, getting together with my wife. She's smart, financially responsible, and we influence each other in positive ways. We've been so much more capable as a team than either of us was separately.
Your English is excellent - I wouldn't know it was a second (third?) language for you.
FYI, "mostly perfect" is problematic, as "perfect" is an absolute - something is perfect or it isn't perfect. Though it could interpreted as "most of my English is perfect", which makes sense. And there's also room for artistic license.
Many native speakers say this kind of thing all the time with "unique", by saying things like "one of the most unique" thing. So you're in good company, you speak English as well as many native speakers! 😁
(It's a minor thing, I doubt most people notice that qualifying an absolute doesn't make sense).
Again, your English is excellent - I really wouldn't know otherwise.