I am undecided on the guitar picks since I play the trombone.

Ah yes, the all time classic India Johns
- It's like Papa Johns, but from India
- Imbiamba jombes

HP will remotely lock down the purse if the volume of sauce gets too low or you have any other brand.
- Or 7 days before the 'best before' date expires
  
  There's a best before date?

Forgot the kitchen sink, but otherwise very accurate.
- Dog Gambit, I knew I forgot something.
  
  Nice username
  
  Dog gambit 💀

I was with you on the Clue until I saw it was the Big Bang Theory Edition.
Get with it, ladies. Classic Clue is where it's at.
- Bazinga
  
  Oh you!
- Isn't there an India Johns edition of Clue?

Also:
A logarithmic slide rule
A Pythagoras puzzle game
Print version of the GNU general public license
IBM punched card with friend's phone number on the back side
Bootable flash drive with Hannah Montana OS
A grape
A model of a particle accelerator
- A bootable Linux USB is legit a nice thing to have in your bag - it being Hannah Montana is just the icing on the cake. I've got one in my handbag (not HM though). No GNU license card but does creative commons count?
  ...it's more of a conversation starter than an actually useful thing but, y'know. Hannah Montana Linux. Useful for pranks if anything

Well, at least they got the piece of string right but… No tissues, no nail clipper and file? No band-aids, disinfectant, eye drops, sugar lumps, lip balm?
Anyway, judging by the weight of my hand bag the curling rock definitely IS somewhere at the bottom but I can't find it. There must be a secret pocket…

Worcestershire, but otherwise yeah.
- Unless you’re from Sheffield then it’s Henderson’s.

I've always been more of a thallium kind of gal.

Slide lube instead of guitar picks?

As I am currently living in Botswana, the constitution hit home for me.

Ah, I was hoping for the panel De Rechtvaardige Rechters (The Righteous Judges), but alas

Rubber ducky remote explosive
So they are Klee mains, right?
- That's totally a Hitman reference.
  
  Specifically, the shown rubber duck item is the remote explosive duck mk II, first seen in hitman 2.
- Dodoco goes on the bag, not in it silly

Daddies Sauce
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daddies
- Heretic

The Thing, also known as The Continuum Transfunctioner

Where's the NetComm IG6000 Industrial Dial-up Modem?
- Oh, I just use Colorado, you know?
- Why do people like you feel the need to jump in with these kinds of unnecessary parasitic comments? Totally asanine bullshit. You should grow up and realise that, in this day and age, there is literally no excuse for a modem that doesn't support V92 to be in any handbag.
  This message brought to you by the Raymay HIDEX IGM Mark II Gang.

Several wads of used tissues.

Thule, a mythical region in Scandinavia

As a tromboner, you keep a spare pair of lips in the bag.

What a great idea it is to put a vintage stand up joke from 1982 in meme format!
- I don't think they had Big Bang Theory themed Clue in 1982.

I L O V E S P H E R E C O L L E C T I O N
- .
  S̴̨̢̧̡̢̧̧̢̨̢̨̧̧̛̛̱͓̗̳͉̺̹̪̙͔͎̥̖̲̻̹̱̠̱̦̫̭̩̞̯̙̙̺̟̮͚̲̦̰̮̲̗̥̗̭̫͍̹̖̺̭̝̻͇͖͍͍͍̪̤͍͔̩̞͔̜̜͕̗̭̱̘͎̝̟͓̜̖̦̼̬̤̤̬̦̟͖̙͍̬̘̫̜͚̲͉̣͔͙̠̠̝̪̦̞̭̼͓̜̫̥̯̠̼̳̞̳͂̿̂̾̓̽͒̽̌̇̎̀́̇̓̀̂̒̔̃̌̄͗̇̐̓̌̑͂͗̑̈̎̊̇̍͌̍̆̐̉̅́̆̿̑̇̓̐̽́̂̐̈̇̐̕͘͜͠͠ͅP̴̨̡̧̡̡̢̢̡̘̖̮͓̖̖̦̞̲̰̯͓̞̠̫̹͈̼͙͙̖̮̙̻̘̠̞̭͎̦̲͈̦͔̱̫̞̲̘̰͓̞͇͖͚̻͖̣͉̦̫̤̣̟̜̪̠͙̪͍̗̳̟͉͖͉͖̯͍̜͖̫̙̱͍͎̈̒̐̈́̍̎͐͑̍̒͑̽̾̀̐̃͂̃̾̓͒͂̓̓̓̏̈̾̓̍̒͂͗́̋̑͛̆͗͛͑̎̽͊̽̋̀̎̎͋̊̐̈́̋̓̄̋͛̅͌̍̍̏̾͌͐̅̌̀̋͆̂̀́̂͗̾̐̏͛̒̕̕̕̕̚͜͜͝͝͝͝͝͠͝͠ͅH̶̡̧̧̧͇̜͚̤͖̭̠͇̻̱̼̬̥̜̯̜͙̞̤͉͇͔̫̯̮̗͍̣̯̱͙̻͔̺̣͍̥̜͕͇̫̹̳̜̖̰̩̥̫̦̥̃͋̌͂̔͜͜ͅĘ̸̡̧̧̡̡̨̨̧̛̛͇̥̦̜̖̫̼͙̳̗̯̞̬̗̞̹͕̦̮̯͎̖̺͓̼̰̙͉͉͖͇̜̪̮͙̺͖̙̘̮͈̺͓̝̙͙̖̙̟̳̖̖̤̲͔̮̘̲̻͔͈͙̟̮͇̝̜̱̯̫̻̥̭̮̣̗͕̠̜͔͙̬͕͔̖͓̫͇̲̰͚̞̞̙͖̬͙̱̝̦̪̠̣̐͆̽͋̍̆̊̍̊̔̓̾̀͌̏͑̓̄͊̒͒̑̓̎̑̀͑̍̾̈͊̊̈́̀͋̑̏́́́̈́̆̅̽̈́͋̽̂̈́̈̾̆̐͐̍͐͐͛̃̀͑͌͛̆̈́̊̀̏̆̑͌̓̀͛͘̚̕̕͜͜͜͜͜͜͠͝͠͠͠Ŗ̵̨̨̢̢̡̛̛̛̭̖̝͙̹͚̗̹̜̙͈̜͕͇̻͔̻̥̘̺̜̺͖̳̲͉̰̙͎̯̰͙̯̜̘̹̦͙̻̺̤͓̖̱͖̤̝̩̩͕̱̭̟̝̣̗̜͍̟̘̰̺̳̯͍̠̞̲̪̻̺̦͉͓͕͕̑̈́̿̓́͐̄́̆́͛̅̅̀̿̒̈́̏̅̎̔́͛̑͋̓͌̉͛̋̋̅̆̇̂̿͆̍͑̍͌̾̇̄̓̀̈́̓̓͛̈͒̊̎̎̓̃͂͊̐̍̽͂̇͋͛̂͊̔̇̇̅̎̕̕̚̕͘͘͜͠͝͝͝͝͝͝ͅE̷̢̡̧̛̛̛̟̘̰̣̠̖̟̲͓̣̤̰͚̜̺̲͙̝͖̮̟̼̔͌̓̐̈́͐̔̀̍̀̒̓̃͌́̈́̍͐͐͗̋̓͆̀̏͆̽͆̇̿͂͑̂͋́̌̿̐̌̂̾̀̾̏̄͆̌̿̃̏̍̈́̄̈́̅̓̍̍͛̒̌̂̋̆͗͘̕͜͠͠͝
  .

Too restrained for a purse. In the pockets of my cargo pants: seeds, flowers and twigs. Bits of string. Plastic electric fence thingies.
- See my post history for my EDC.