Me, explaining Easter to my wife, who grew up amongst the heathens
Me, explaining Easter to my wife, who grew up amongst the heathens
68 comments
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You know Osiris? Kind of like that, but it's in Israel instead of Egypt, and there's only one God, who has two different forms, one in heaven but also is a dude down on earth, until eventually it's revealed he has three different forms not just two. Also unlike with Egypt, a significant lack of animal heads, all just like normal human heads. Except the holy spirit who's like a ghost or something. Nailed it.
Wait you don't know Osiris? Crap, let's talk Quetzalcóatl then. So he's like this giant snake with feathers...
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"right, so he comes back to life after 3 days... I guess its kind of like in one of those zombie movies you like so much? But then there's a bunny too you see, and he gives out chocolate and jelly beans. No, there wasn't any chocolate or jelly beans in the Bible. Nor any bunnies either... The bunny is actually from an older thing from pre Christianity but we just kinda added it in afterwards. Yeah that happens a lot. Does it all make sense to you now?"
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That doesn't even cover the issues of explaining how they figure out what DAY it is every year.
"Okay, so they start by figuring out when the Earth has the most direct sun on the the Tropic of Cancer... no, not the disease, a giant crab... it's a line of latitude approximately 23°27′ north of Earth's Equator, right? Yes, there's math. Anyway, the take the day the sun is strongest and weakest, called the solstices, and ... the solstices... It doesn't matter, It mattered for agriculture back then, especially when spring and fall were, which are the calendar dates in between them, yeah? So the spring equinox ,., that's what they call the 'in between solstices,' equinox... which is March 21st or 22nd or something. What? No no, I am explaining how they figure out when easter is. I haven't forgotten. So now we know when the spring equinox is, so now we look at a chart of the moon, and figure out when it is full. Full. No, not 'full of what?' it's full meaning that you can see all of in the sky. Well one half of it, actually. The sunlit half, but it's FACING us, see... The sun lights up and it shows as a circle instead of a crescent or something. Moving on, they look at the FIRST Sunday AFTER the FIRST full moon that occurs on or after the spring equinox. Except if the full moon falls on a Sunday, then Easter is the next Sunday. Why? Well, St. Bede the Venerable, the 6th-century author of Historia ecclesiastica gentis Anglorum ('Ecclesiastical History of the English People'), maintains that the English word 'Easter' comes from Eostre, or Eostrae, the Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring and fertility. That's where the Spring Equinox comes in. NO I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP!"
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I've always assumed that Scotty beamed him up to the ship where he spent 3 days in medical having Bones fix him before they beamed him back down.
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That seems like a reasonable explanation
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Me, a heathen, explaining how my family does Easter to my Jewish wife:
"We dye eggs and hide them then eat a bunch of chocolate and jellybeans."
"Wtf? Why"
"I dunno"
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It's a fertility festival, hence all the eggs and bunnies and references to fucking. Has nothing to do with christianity, aside from they decided to drop the bummer message that no, easter is because Jesus died.
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I'm pretty sure Easter is because Jesus came back to life. Empty tomb and all that.
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I've heard the term Easter originates from Eostre which is a pagan goddess of the spring. That being said the reference is exclusively an English/Germanic thing. The Orthodox church uses the more ancient term of "Pascha" which derives from "Passover". So you are partially right but no Christian versed in their history would say it takes away from the holiness of the holiday. The Orthodox church would often observe pagan customs and peacefully orient them towards Christ. As a result the church has a rich tapestry of jurisdictions with their own liturgical nuances. Easter is about Christ defeating death. Glory to God.
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Because that's how it's done. Keep up!
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I just refer to him as zombie Jesus and call it a day.
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I thought he was more of a revenant.
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My family is Jewish and I've always been an atheist. My wife is also an atheist, but grew up in a Christian family. I've always felt uncomfortable going over to her house for religious holidays. Most of the Jesus talk is done at the pre-meal prayer, but that part makes me feel super uncomfortable.
But like Easter and Christmas, despite the fact that they've always been completely welcoming and non-judgmental to me, I just feel like a total outsider. Even after almost 24 years of marriage I don't feel used to it. I don't even feel comfortable with a Christmas tree in the house, but I don't fight it.
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Christmas trees predate Christmas.
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This post is a tongue and cheek comparison of how capitalism has eaten Christian holidays, and how resurrection is handled in fiction.
I was raised in an authoritarian Christian environment, but on the plus side I am actually able to dissect a lot of popular fiction for my wife who was not raised with this burden. It turns out it's actually sort of hard to understand certain metaphors, symbols and short hand if both your parents are sarcastic atheists.
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I realize that. This is pretty much off-topic, so I'll stop discussing it.
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That's interesting that you feel so out of place. I dated a Jewish woman for a little while and went to synagogue with her for Shabbat, and spent a couple holidays with her family. It all felt comfortable to me. I suppose maybe it's more natural for a Christian to participate in Jewish holidays than it is for a Jew to participate in Christian holidays. Judaism is basically half of Christianity, whereas Christianity is something completely separate to the Jewish. Rather, Christianity is something the Jewish have directly stated they don't believe the basis for. Does that sound accurate to you?
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That may be accurate, but I told OP that I wouldn't talk about this further since it's off-topic, so I'll leave that there.
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Just refer her to the "hero's journey" entry on Wikipedia?
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I'm not too familiar with it, but does it really work? I feel like just the first point, ordinary world, has some huge issues
The hero begins in a situation of normality from which some information is received that acts as a call to head off into the unknown
I think Jesus was always seen as special, even before birth. If we go with the Biblical story I mean
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It's just another myth that describes a mythical hero on their journey. It's too easy to take everything too literally, or too metaphorically. I use a lot of judeochristian metaphors, allegories, etc, but I imagine if I'd been raised Buddhist, I'd use a lot of Buddhist metaphors, or any other religion. I'm aware a lot of people will take offense to that, and that's not my intent. Imo, getting hung up on the veracity misses the point the story is trying to make, in the first place. Imo, that's what the "ears to hear, eyes to see" metaphor means.
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Jesus is more of an isekai protagonist than a classic hero.
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Me: noticing that people still care about this nonsense of a holiday.
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It's one of the biggest Christian holidays so if you're in a Christian country or around Christians, people might care. Also, holidays are always nice
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If you're in a religious country, everyone still takes this seriously.
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You know if people want to eat candy, go to church and spend time with fam in peace, who am I to say no even if I don't buy into it?
Fun is allowed, with or without us
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68 comments