Skip Navigation
57 comments

  • It was a somewhat stressful week. Second busiest week of the year church-wise and I'm exhausted from that. Been trying to juggle a bunch of different stuff.

    Had Easter dinner with my mom, grandparents, and one other person. Didn't wanna be there because I was tired and hate having to sit still for so long. Got misgendered and dead named all the while which made me feel worse. For my grandparents I don't bother because they're very old and it's hard to change at that age, but my mom knows better and I've told her so many times and she still does this shit. She's also been saying weird TERFy shit lately. I hate getting misgendered, especially by someone who knows better. It hurts like hell. I put so much effort into passing and it's like no matter how hard I try she won't try. She always claims she's a supportive parent and she's done so much for me but the thing I need most from her right now she acts like she's incapable of doing it. I hate how she acts like she's some woke liberal ally around other liberals, and then comes home and won't even acknowledge me as her son. She's outed me to different people so many times that I can't even keep count anymore.

    But the weather's been nice and I've been out taking lots of pictures of the flowers and scenery. My aunt's paying me to take care of her dogs while she's away, so once she comes back I'm gonna use the money to buy a bass guitar and start learning 👀

    • I picked up the bass guitar last year, this really helped me learn how to play: https://www.bassbuzz.com/

      I'm sorry to hear about your mom, that is frustrating. I don't know what your relationship is like with her, but it sounds like some basic boundary setting might be needed. She shouldn't be outing you or misgendering you.

      • Thanks a bunch for that link. Looks like a good resource. I was having trouble finding some. I'm very excited to start!

        Yeah, frustrating is a good way to describe it. She crosses boundaries that I set all the time. I love her, but it really hurts me. Luckily, I'm moving out in September so it won't be as constant of a problem.

  • Gosh I've had way too much time to think this week, just turned myself in to an anxious mess. I don't really have any friends and I desperately need to fix that but I don't know how to start or even how to be a good friend after so much self-isolating. How do people do it?

    I also need to start practising with makeup and skincare, even if its just simple things like eyeliner and moisturizers but I keep getting insecure and procrastinating! And I need to stop whining about my problems instead of doing something about it! 😂

    Edit: Oh, and I just found out the service I use to get my HRT (GenderGP) removed the ability to contact them and "improved" their system with an £8/15min appointment booking, that's so much better! /s

  • Pretty good actually! While I was alone I tried on some makeup for the first time! Not too much as it was just a bit of lipstick but after putting it on I felt so happy I almost cried! I wish I could’ve kept it on longer but I was afraid of being caught with it on so I washed it off after admiring it for a little while. Beyond that I finally decided to make an account after lurking for a while and I’m really happy about getting to join this marvelous community! 😊

    • Welcome welcome! 🥳️

      I've been on HRT for over a year, and I haven't experimented with makeup yet, except for my brows. Well I recently got some stuff and am going to try it out in a little while.

      I've been boy-moding until now, but my breast growth is enough to make boy-moding difficult now. So I need to learn my makeup style to complete my fem look.

      Hopefully all goes well for both of us! 🥰️

      • I hope so as well! I’m not on HRT quite yet (though I do want to start it) so I’ve been trying to do some small things here and there until I can start HRT. I hope all goes well with trying out your makeup and finding your style! I’m sure you’ll look absolutely fabulous in it!🥰

  • I'm a few months into feminizing HRT, and while at the airport I was referred to as a lady by an elderly woman working at a pretzel shop. I'm in that awkward in-between state where I get gendered differently by different people.

    Right now my biggest struggle is updating my mental habits (the way I think of myself and thus interact is still rooted in trying to pass as a man) and mustering the courage to practice and use my new voice in public.

    • I just hit 2 months for HRT and am already noticing I'm starting to hit that awkward stage. The voice challenge is huge. I can't help but feel like I'm talking to my toddler when trying it out, lol.

      Have to be conscious not to overly patronize strangers when they pick up their trash or are polite (Good job buddy! I'm so proud of you for cleaning up after yourself!)

      Today my vocal coach is going to be teaching me how to add more breathy -ness to my voice after resonance so it doesn't sound so nasally and pingy.

      Hope you're doing well Dandelion ❤️

      • For me it's hard because most contexts for practice are not with strangers, but with people who knew me before transitioning. Psychologically it's much harder for me to use a "fake" voice with people who know it's fake than to practice feminine speech patterns with strangers who might not know better where my "normal" masculine voice would threaten passing.

        Unfortunately my speech therapist already says I'm doing a great job and wanted to reduce frequency of lessons, but I feel overwhelmed by this and like I'm entirely failing to modify my voice. The problem seems to be more psychological than technical. :-(

        I hope your vocal lesson goes well - it can be a lot of fun to learn new techniques and experiment with them!

      • I just hit my three month mark for HRT. We're almost twins

  • I finally ordered my estrogen implants! They should be coming in the mail in about a month and then my GP will put it in!

    • Congrats! Are these implants the "tic-tacs" that are injected through a large syringe into the butt / thigh area? I've considered this option because I'm so needle phobic (and right now I'm injecting every 4 days), but I'm worried about how you control the exact dose, and how frequently you have to essentially have a minor surgery, and how expensive it can be.

      • They are! We don't really have injections down here in Australia, so doctors (the few who know trans healthcare) recommend implants for long term transition. Either way, the idea of a needle from the GP occasionally is far better than once every 4 days. My implant cost about AUD$150, plus maybe AUD$80 for the doctors appointment (both subsidized by the government though), and it should last about a year or two.

    • Have you had estrogen implants before? If so, what was you experience with them?

      I have read about testosterone implants as well, but I don't hear much about them from other trans people. Might be something I'll look into getting in the future because t gel is expensive and you can accidentally spread it to other people.

      • I haven't, this'll be my first. Since injections aren't really available here, my doctor recommended an implant to reduce the cardiovascular risks associated with oral estradiol. I also like the idea of them because it kinda feels like my body is just naturally producing it.

57 comments