Consider this: there are 8 billion people on this planet. If soul mates existed in an exclusive sense, and by that I mean that there is one other person on the planet who is your soul mate, the likelihood of ever even getting close to meeting that individual is negligible, let alone the chance of forming some sort of relationship.
Certain personalities mesh well, and those personalities are the result of our genetics, our upbringings, our cultural environment, and our life experiences. I don't think the traditional idea of a soul mate really fits reality. It's more likely, in my view, that some people get along and some people don't. Those that get along well may tend to find each other and make good matches. But, undoubtedly, there are plenty of people on the planet that will be a good match for any one individual. It's just a matter of finding one of those people, and choosing to be with them.
Which is to say — relationships are work. And finding someone you are compatible with doesn’t mean you are done with hard work. Once you are in a stable long-term relationship, you are always growing and evolving both separately as individuals and together as partners. And working towards being the best partners to one other is a huge part of that.
I think it’s easy to say or think that 1. Soulmates are real and the perfect person is out there waiting for you, and once you find them then things will finally be easy, or 2. Soulmates aren’t real, so you don’t need to worry about that expectation; just find someone you are compatible with and enjoy spending your time/life with.
But for me personally, I have found so much happiness in my life by treating my relationship with my spouse like something bigger than just the two of us, that we both put the work into to maintain and grow. We make each other better, and we feel like we are always becoming better versions of ourselves with one another; I think that’s a great litmus test for a ‘soulmate.’
I don’t think the two halves of the apple exist, the soulmate etc.
I think we’re all people walking down a road, and sometimes we meet someone else who will join us down that road for a while, and walk with us. maybe after a while they’ll take a different path, the important thing is that we walked together and enjoyed doing so.
EDIT: This sounds kinda incel-ish, so let me clarify what I mean:
Some people are able to find a person that they mesh very well with. But that is basically like lightning striking the same place thirty times in a row. It is more common that you will find someone you only sometimes or mostly mesh well with.
Also, while we're at it, there are some individuals who are friendly and flexible and could probably make a relationship work with many people. And some people are stubborn grouches that couldn't even mesh with themselves if there was an exact copy.
mammals are built to catagorize information and detect patterns in order to predict their future and survive. as a result, there's an innate predilection to believing the world is ordered, that it makes sense and, as challenges are survived and overcome, that maybe the random events in their lives are even benevolent and parental. the world is fundamentally chaotic and indifferent, however. there are emergent patterns and cause and effect, but there isn't an ultimate fate or grand plan.
it's not impossible that you find someone you get along with really well, maybe not even unlikely depending on who you are. but it definitely isn't predestined to happen, and it is extremely unlikely that you find anyone you get along with perfectly. disagreement and compromise are inherent to interacting with other people in a chaotic and disordered world, but the amount required does vary depending on the individual personalities and experience of the people involved.