Can you point to another tool whose required infrastructure occupies the same amount of space, we spend as much time and money on, where those who won’t or can’t spend that time or money are treated as second-class citizens, that directly kills as many people, that we fight wars over to ensure we have the needed fuel, that people define their entire identities around, and that causes as much environmental destruction as the automobile?
Think it through, and I’m sure you can see what makes cars different from any other any other tool. Most societies on earth are completely warped around maximizing the use of the car everywhere and for everything, at any cost. It is truly an obsession.
There was a time when I spent more on Petrol than I did on food for myself. Yes, rent was more expensive, but putting that aside, adding up the on-road costs like insurance and registration, and I was well and truly spending more on my car than I was on myself. That's without taking my taxes going to roads or my rent being higher because cars are monopolising more space. Society relies on cars today to the extent that we are faced with cars having life destroying potential in this planet and most of us look the other way most of the time. We need cars and we let them walk all over us.
Transport is not an obsession, it's a basic necessity. It's a huge deal regardless of what mode. But I think your point with cars is that there are alternatives that don't cause as much harm. I can think of a few other similar examples.
Housing - Suburban housing. It's worse than cars in many of the ways you outlined. Typically cars and suburbs come as a double punch.
Food - Meat. At least as damaging to the environment as cars, causes huge amounts of suffering, and it's also pointless because there are great alternatives.
Cooking - Gas stoves. Fairly minor, but there's no good reason they should still exist. Same story with gas heaters instead of heat pumps.
Or we could, you know, just not have these ridiculous requirements that are unbased in any kind of science. They were just guessed at by politicians 60 years ago, and then copied from municipality to municipality.
It's not just the car, it's the whole system from the oil well upstream, through the car up to the malls and road system that need oil and subsidize it downstream: it's all infected with car brain, interdependent and self-reinforcing with a feedback loop. It's only going to stop when something breaks.
For within cities, I think epectrified public transit + micromobility + walking is a far better option, because cars are just insanely space-inefficient, which is why traffic is an unavoidable beast in any city that reaches a certain size. But for rural areas, things like this I think are a move in the right direction: https://aptera.us/