ifn't

I propose a new, more threatening kind of control flow.

do { /* something */ } or else { /* you don't want to find out */ }
- Some C++ style guides suggest the following naming convention for functions that crash on any error
  
  OpenFileOrDie()
  
  PHP has the always wonderful (and perfectly functional) syntax of
  logUserIn() or die();
  
  Personally, I like to call catched exception variables up, so for a rethrow I can throw up;.
  
  I mean, it makes sense to call ComplainToErrorAndExit just 'die', no?
  
  One of the modules in a project I'm working on is called VulkanOrDie which always makes me crack up when I see it in the compilation messages.
  
  It's funnier when you try to SysCallAndDie() :-P
  (that's a real thing in perl btw - I guess that function didn't get the memo)
  
  Now what about GZDoom's GoAwayAndDie();?
- this is just a menacing try/catch!
- It_would_be_a_shame_if(condition)
- The better try-catch. More intuitive if you ask me.
- It exists, kind of. Python has this construct
  
  for item in iterable: ... else: ...
  which always puzzles me, since it depends on a break statement execution. I always have to look it up when the else block is executed.
- You just made me a offer I can't refuse. I go now to sleep with the fishes...
- do { /* something */ } do hast { /* something */ }
  
  do { /* something */ } do hast { /* something */ } do hast mich { /* something */ }

Please God let this be a humorous post that somehow does not also find a way to manage to come true...
- I would have bought it if they said ifnot instead, it's the same number of characters and wouldn't require a major parser overhaul to support keywords with a ' in the name.
  
  i mean, “unless” tends to be the usual term for an “if not” keyword in languages that implement such a thing
  
  Yeah, to be clear, I don't like it, I don't like it one bit:-P.
- Gulp...
  [link]
  Also, just for fun, the prequel:

cap () {
}
nocap () {
}
- nocap(frfr){
  }

Reduce exclamation marks!? Great Scott!!!!! Is there a shortage of punctuation in the future!?
- You could have saved two, all you had to do was use the interrobang. You’re a monster.
- All known deposits were depleted
- 1.21GB!!!
- Kernighan, what was I thinking?

- unlessn't
- I'm sorry, I hate the "unless" so much
  
  At one of my first jobs, I was tasked to rewrite a bunch of legacy Perl scripts in Python and the unless lines always made me trip up. I don't know why but it really messed with my mental flow when reading Perl code
- Basic used "else".
  It's nice. "if", "then", and "else". I spent a year programming a shitty roulette game on an Apple 2e back in high school. I still remember the joy of using if/then/else paired with goto to make a horrible mess of spaghetti logic.
  But yeah, "else" is nice.
  
  Using a standalone 'else' would tickle my brain in the same nice way that being able to declare a variable inside an 'if' statement as if it were a 'for' loop (which you can do in modern C++) does.
  
  Let's just scrap every language except various forms of BASIC.
- I haven't written any Ruby for years, but I still praise it in every conversation I have regarding programming languages. It's basically a much simpler Python, with some design ideas that are both beautiful and deeply strange.
  
  Ruby was designed to evoke joy and they absolutely succeeded. Usually, programming is mostly a means to an end to me. But using Ruby just feels so amazing, it's almost impossible to even describe to somebody who has never used it before.
- The Perl version of it is even greater!

aint (something) { somethingElse() }
- As a Virginian learning coding, this would make my damn day.
  
  c
  
  #define aint(x) if (!(x))
- Or maybe
  taint(condition) {}

ifn't(!valid) halp?
- I believe that resolves the same as
  ain't!(!untrue)

Why not just ifnot? Same count of characters but an o instead of a possibly problematic single quote.
- I think it's just capitalizing on a trend to add n't to otherwise noy contractions, to make them into contractions. Contractionn'ts, if you will
- Yes... how is "reducing exclamation marks" a good thing when you do it by adding a ' (not to be confused with , ´,‘ or ’` ..which are all different characters).
  Does this rely on the assumption that everyone uses a US QWERTY keyboard where ! happens to be slightly more inconvenient than typing '?
- If someone really wanted to add it, probably the best would be to use unless
  
  I really liked having unless in Ruby; a ! can be easy to miss, while unless made it clear without needing to write out != true.

Still not as good as whence
- Is this a reference to something because I’d love to read it if you have a time to share.
  
  Woah. I did a quick google and it's not just a meme, but actually used in some major lang's libraries.
  
  It is used in ksh korn shell to see what executable responds to a command:
  https://superuser.com/a/351995
  Edit: Oh, what a rabbit hole: Why not use "which"? What to use then?
- Legislation (which feels similar to programming languages sometimes) seems to have some keywords of its own. I remember seeing a lot of Whereas ... and Having regard to ....

"Help's with readability"? You know what else helps? Not using contractions and introducing an unbalanced single quote.
- If they'd'nt've done that, it'd've been better. Agreed.
  
  they'd'nt've
  Aside: rip Tom Scott
  
  TIHI
- Runs havoc on parsing, too. It's bad for both humans and robots. I say we ship it.
- This feels racist against Appalachia. We naturally speak with contractions and are commonly referred to as "unbalanced".

I'm struggling to understand if this is true or ifn't true

Imagine the regex needed to highlight code with that extra single quote.

I'd take a not or "if not" operator tbh.
- It has a not keyword it's used for pattern matching.
  
  if (x is not null)
  
  It also has a !=.
  
  Stuff can be two things
- ifnt instead of ifn't

I'm just hoping this paves the way to code with Southern dialect

iffun is == true iffun ain't == false
- May I introduce you to the joys of #define and creating your own horrible sub language
  
  That reminds me of an old paper about how to create a compilable C program out of old game ROMs. Decompile to assembly. Implement a bunch of #define statements that implement all the ASM statements. Now compile it to a native binary on whatever platform.
  Won't likely be faster or more accurate than regular emulation methods, but it's a neat idea considering that the source code on all this stuff was lost a long time ago.

ifn't (myNum don't= 3 && myStr ain'tnull'rblankish)
- Please remain calm, we are sending paramedics to your location.
  
  I genuinely lol'd
- I hate seeing colloquial terms like ‘ain't’ in non-comment (ie. standardized) parts of code

- Ding ding ding ding ding ding...

With ahit like that its not microsoft java its now microsoft javascript
- That's Typescript...

reminds me of #ifndef instead of #if !defined(...)

What's wrong with "else"
- It's not ifn't
  
  *it'sn't
  
  ^This
  OP raises a valid point
- if(condition) {#block never used} else {#actually do a thing}
  Vs
  ifn't(condition) {#actually do a thing}
  Vs
  if!(condition) {#actually do a thing}
  
  vs
  if (not condition) {#actually do a thing}
- Cannot start a statement with else. One can with ifn't. There is a new thing where we don't branch (which is a separate discussion).
  Or am I missing the joke...

This has to be illegal. I mean, it's basically suicide incitement (or whatever is the phrase for it)

Python already has this.

die unless $keyword == "unless";
- I personally have a gut feeling of rejection for every language having the unless keyword. This is why I hardly know any PERL and Ruby for example.
  I have mixed feelings towards Kotlin's takeUnless scope function (I nearly always use takeIf with a negated predicate) because my mind forgets the unless version exists.
  
  For me I don't know if it's because I'm not english native, but reading and understanding code using unless or similar negated boolean operators makes my mind stop computing amd becomes very hard to read.