I can't see how anyone thinks ADHD is a superpower.
I can't see how anyone thinks ADHD is a superpower.
Sorry for the negative post but this disorder is genuinely terrible. I was diagnosed a few months ago and from the report I received it seems like I have an extremely bad case of it.
I lost 8 percent of my final grade in an operating system class because I submitted the wrong file.
Fine, I have syncthing setup between my desktop and laptop so I'll just check if the assignment is on my shared folder in my desktop. It's not.
Ok, I'll turn on my laptop and grab the file itself. Oh, I have a boot error and now I need to open up the recovery environment to see if the hard drive is even being recognized.
It's not. Now I have to open up the laptop and reconnect it.
At this point it's been 30 minutes of me scrambling to get my laptop up and working again and I found the damn assignment there. I emailed my professor and I'm praying that he reevaluates the assignment because the earlier submission had nothing on it. It was just the default assignment.
None of this shit would have happened had I taken just one second to check over what I submitted a month earlier.
I hate reading articles pertaining to ADHD as if it's some quirky condition that just takes a little bit of time and medication to work through. Its not. I have to constantly remind myself that I'm even conscious in order to function at all, and now I have to sustain extra mental effort to do a relatively hard task.
The only thing that keeps me going is my boss saying "nice work" when I diagnose an issue successfully. It feels infantilizing, as if he knows there's something going on with me that's making it hard to cope with the demands of life but "atleast he's trying his best, atleast he shows up to work, this customer said he had a friendly attitude".
My therapist recommended a book about how ADHD can be a "superpower," but as I read the book I noticed that nearly every single example they gave of some famous person that "leveraged their ADHD into success" was rich to start with.
Like, it obviously wasn't ADHD that made them successful, it was generational wealth - classic "pull yourself by your bootstraps" BS. I couldn't even finish the book, because it was just making me angry.
There are only a few symptoms of ADHD that Id consider useful:
-
Novelty seeking. If you are able to explore and experiment i.e you are financially secure and/or well connected, this can make someone a great scientist/artist etc. But as other people noted, a lot of this is the result of having the freedom to do more things. If you cant explore or experiment, it'll just make you feel trapped.
-
Greater capacity for creativity. Creativity comes from allowing your mind to wander and jump from one thing to another and thats basically pure ADHD.
That said, ADHD is classified as a disorder for a reason. It can theoretically have positive traits but no one jumps through the hoops to get diagnosed, goes through therapy and takes medication to treat it because things are going better for them because of it. ADHD can be, and often is, debilitating. It can cripple your social life and cause you to either jump from job to job because you are bored to the point of physical suffering or be fired if it isnt controlled. And because emotional dysregulation is common, you are probably going to be emotionally exhausted or even outright traumatized. And of course, school is going to be harder for you than everyone else at some point.
The one thing that is super handy for me about ADHD is that I tend to fall into fits of hyper focus, and I like learning, so contrary to what many people have said, ADHD makes me potentially a better student.
I don't have another me without ADHD to cross compare it with but the fact that I can easily sit down and read a 400 page textbook from cover to cover in a couple of hours and retain the majority of what I've read has been incredibly helpful.
I've always thought I don't have ADHD because I love learning new things and didn't have problems in school. I was lucky enough to like most subjects. For the few I didn't like, such as geography and economics, I got OK grades if I just briefly skimmed the textbook before the exam. More recently, the fact that sticking with a topic is hard, that I simply could not concentrate at all on a live video instruction that I was supposed to do with my colleagues (it just went too slowly) and that I keep "overtalking" even when I know people are not interested, started to add up. Also household chores. Really realy difficult, much worse than actually difficult problems such as physics or debugging.
I would add being a few steps ahead of most others in the group, project etc because of all the over thinking you've done instead of sleeping or completing other things.
-
ADHD makes you work 2-3x as hard all the time about everything you care about so when compared to a regular person we are fucking superstars at working our asses off just to get along.
Unfortunately nothing is measured in effort and caring alone. So until you also get good at whatever it is you're doing, you don't get any notice. So we appear from the outside to go from okay to amazing at things pretty quickly and faster than other people, but it's really because we're either working 200% or not at all.
Don't sweat the grade. You've now burned into your memory this failure and you will have an easier time remembering to stop and check your files for that kind of error before submitting. I've been in the workplace 20 years now and I have 1000 past disasters whispering in my ear every time I do something so my work is exemplary compared to my coworkers and I look like I have a superpower. I just have a lot of experience failing first.
The book ADHD 2.0 calls this out. It’s like “you may hear that ADHD is a superpower. It is not. Anything that you can do with ADHD can also be done by neurotypical people. Thinking like this makes it harder for people with ADHD to accommodate their limitations.”
hahaha superpower.
more like monkeys paw wish.
I wish I could understand many complex things. Granted, but you don't get to choose them, and their relevance is rare.
I wish I could notice small details no one else could. Granted, but you can't analyze them, and each thing triggers your anxiety, hundreds of times a day.
I wish I could specialize in something. Granted, at least until the dopamine kick ends.
I wish I had motivation to do things. Granted, but it's anything other than what you need to do.
I wish I had super hearing? Granted, but the doctors will grow concerned because your ADHD meds can cause psychosis.
I wish I had great memory. Granted, but you only recall images and never a conversation or video.
This is beautiful and just a perfect description. Even though this sucks day to day I will say very rarely but sometimes, this can spin to our benefit. I recently had an electrical contractor fuck up some work I needed done..well, that’s an understatement my entire home needed to be rewired, and I wanted wiring so I didn’t have to keep charging my doorbell camera.
Now my mind goes thought everything as it normally would, I pay large amounts of money and I’m told everything is done. Well my doorbell camera isn’t charging. Out of the entire house that’s all I can focus on. I have an endless list of stuff that needs to get done but I want my doorbell camera to have power. The guy adds the wire for the doorbell and I’m happy. Until I see it isn’t charging. Trace the wire and it isn’t connected to anything, talk to the guy and he gives me some excuse, it’ll be done soon. Wait when I followed the wire for the doorbell I didn’t see anything connected to my roof above my bathroom. Okay they also didn’t install the exhaust fan correctly.
Now my house still needs 80% of a total renovation but he didn’t fix the doorbell and I just don’t want to keep charging it. So I’m scared of messing with any electricity, which is why I paid someone to do my electrical work. But maybe I can just hook up a doorbell. Well a weekend of researching and I still am not sure how to do it, but I found a copy of the national electric code because I think the exhaust fan is supposed to be going up through my roof.
Long story short the guy didn’t do half the work I paid for. I now have a log of every wire that was run, every junction box that was placed, every switch, every outlet, everything, including if it is up the code of the exact code that it is violating. Along with a note about the expected electrical load, that should be on each circuit, how much is can candle and how much more I can add to still be within code for continuous load. I also have the manufacture date of every wire that was placed and found a bit of damage to an exterior and a door wall that wasn’t there and found it caused by the contractor that are both is areas I said do not touch.
So now, I have all this information and if I am successful in suing him I will have gotten a great deal on having the house rewired considering I now know how to rewire an entire house and have improved a few circuits in my house, but I’m not an electrician so I can’t actually do anything with this information. But here I am on lemmy writing about this instead of doing what I planned on doing today with no idea how to actually sue someone and an existential dread of trying to figure out how to or if I should hire an attorney.
It’s great. I mean awful.. well actually both, but also neither.
man I followed that entire story like it happened in my own head. maybe neurodivergent isn't the right term. maybe we're neurocohesive and everything sticks together
Damn! You hit the nail on the head! Thanks for putting this into words
There's this movement nowadays that tries to spin every bad thing into a good thing, to the point where people are proud of having ADHD, autism or mental illness. I mean it's great that you accept yourself, but to be PROUD of having a mental health issue us just weird
I can kinda understand Autism, to an extent. Certain forms of high-functioning autism - like the one I have - are more akin to mild learning disorders. Deliberate practice and effort can mitigate a great deal of the issues.
On the other side, I've seen people with more extreme forms of the condition and I can't imagine having to deal with that. I know I can be difficult to deal with and I work really hard to try to mitigate my shortcomings with others - especially people who don't know me well - but I pale in comparison to the difficulty of people with more extreme forms of Autism.
In this way, I think ADHD and Autism are probably similar - there's a spectrum of impact the condition has. The milder forms of the condition may actually feel like a superpower to those that shape themselves to utilize their quirks in their favor. The problem arises when all forms of the condition are considered beneficial when they are demonstrably not.
Hell, even I have problems that no amount of learning can ever overcome. You can't exactly teach yourself how to pick up on the subconscious body language queues that most people just know inherently. I'm totally blind to that stuff and it makes intense conversations incredibly difficult and a little terrifying.
It's nice that there's a community of people out there who suffer from the same things you're suffering from but it's annoying. You shouldn't be proud of having any mental disability. It's just that, a disability, and most of us would be far better off if we didn't have this curse. It's nice that I can hyperfocus when I really need to. I can study for exams & certifications last minute and still pass, but its not a sustainable strategy. People with ADHD are significantly more likely to live drastically worse lives than neurotypicals.
Some people have made their ADHD (or "neurodivergence" more broadly) a core facet of their identity and worthy of pride and praise instead of an issue to be managed like diabetes or something.
It's a coping strategy in reaction to all the negativity they've endured. So they go a step past acceptance into "actually no, it's a good thing!"
Sorry bro, it isn't. And the more severe it is, the more clear this becomes. Life demands certain things of all of us that require executive function and the side effects of ADHD like creativity and hyper-focus, are not worth being unable to remember to pay your bills, hand in your homework, or complete basic household tasks in a timely manner.
We give ourselves grace, we love ourselves as we are sure, but we just can't start pretending our farts smell great or we lose all touch with reality.
I think part of it is they only see intense amounts of work pulled out of thin air under pressure, they don't see the internal struggle that led to leaving everything to the last minute
I saw a great response to that on this community (or on Reddit, can’t remember). Sure, ADHD is like a superpower. It’s like being able to fly, except you can’t choose when you start flying, how fast you fly, which direction you fly in, or when you stop flying.
Superpower is a stretch. It's more that if you can understand your ADHD you can maybe find jobs/pursuits that match up better with it.
My gf has ADHD and has found that the only way for her to stay engaged is to be in a situation of high impact/high complexity/high urgency. ADHD isnt always inability to concentrate, its switching back between that and hyper-concentration, often involuntarily, so finding an environment that fits that has helped her.
She works at the same company as me in medical software (im a dev were pretty opposite) and basically puts out customer fires. Its highly urgent and impactful (medical issues need to be fixed ASAP) to keep her engaged and complex enough that it doesn't get boring or monotonous. She's really fucking good at it and makes good money, but it does come at a cost. Its pretty stressful but she acknowledges this is the type of thing she can best excel at. And in other areas that arent like this - like in her personal life - she's always slipping and needs other people to help her out (I'm pretty organized and can assist there).
I'd recommend the book ADHD 2.0. The authors, who also have ADHD, kind of echo what we've seen. One of them calls it a curse as the only careers that keep him engaged are stressful and relentless. But its what he does.
They had a pretty good analogy - ADHD is like a car with a super powerful engine but no breaks. You can do some things better than other people but its incredibly easy to get way off track faster than you can blink, so its important to understand how yours works and have the right guardrails in place in your professional and personal lives. And of course meds help a lot too.
That's the problem though. I'm really good at emergency dispatch and I can do a lot of multitasking but I'm at a point where at almost 40 I need a long break if not retirement. Unless I can do my job 4 hours a day and sleep a lot more lol.
I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and then pursued a psychiatrist to oversee my treatment, who determined I didn't have ADHD.
The way he described my situation made the "ADHD superpower" meme make more sense than anything I've ever read. I'm gonna butcher it but I'll do my best to share:
There are structural differences in the brain that contribute to a person having ADHD, but the structural differences themselves ARE NOT ADHD. The last D in ADHD is "disorder", and there are a whole bunch of external circumstances that mental health professionals use to determine whether or not you count as "disordered".
You can have an addictive, impulsive, obsessive, stim-hungry brain and not have ADHD.
Many children develop habits, coping strategies, or other accommodations that allow them to "overcome" the weaknesses that come along with these brain structure differences.
This is the situation where ADHD looks like a superpower.
In my case I have a very, very easy time slipping into flow state. When I'm intensely focused on a task I am time blind, I often don't respond to questions or acknowledgements, and I have an intense temper if I'm interrupted. So I've used timers and meditation/CBT to manage those drawbacks.
By comparison most people I know have a difficult time motivating themselves and accessing flow state. So to those people, especially when they DON'T see the extra work I do, it could look like I have a sort of super power.
It's not a super power, my brain just works differently and I've come up with ways to manage the problems and use it to my advantage.
CBT as a coping mechanism
Oh god, ow
spoiler
\s by the way
lol. I finally see myself in this thread. Timers are king.
I was diagnosed at like 8. Grappling with adhd’s weaknesses is a journey that never ends! Glad to see others cope in ways I do.
I just started meditating and I can’t believe it took me so long to find it. Only a week in and I feel it’s going to be a game changer.
Out of curiosity, how do you leverage meditation?
One thing I am really good at is getting shit done miraculously quickly.
You know, because of all the years of experience procrastinating and having to work my ass off quickly to make it look like I'm not debilitated. Lol
So when emergency projects come up at work or timelines are laughably aggressive, I'm all "I got this" 😎
To be clear, I don't cut corners or do the wrong thing. I do things by the book just fast. I know how to pull out the stops and get the help I need quickly. Ok sometimes I might schedule the review a little late but only after checking with the main stakeholder. To do all that you have to have built am good reputation for quality, thorough work and be empowered and authorized to make some decisions on your own and whatever.
Other than that ADHD is a curse.
Nobody does, it's a white lie so people don't feel as bad about being born with irregular brains.
Permanently Deleted
Advantageous irregular traits are still irregular.
I mean I wouldn't call it a super power. but I'm working as a AV tech guy and the more stressful an event gets and there's hundreds of things going on at the same time, the more I'm becoming calm and tackle it waaay better than all of my colleagues. so I made (at least in this regard) peace with it, to know that I choose the perfect job for it/ me.
Why does this happen? I feel like the stupidest person in the world 90% of the time. Log into work and our PostgreSQL server is about to fall over. I don't know PostgreSQL, I didn't setup the server and I generally don't have anyone on to help me, but I manage to execute a complicated fix before it implodes. Then I go back to forgetting where I put my phone down every thirty seconds.
I just got diagnosed a year and a half ago or so. Reading other peoples stories has really helped me reflect on the past and put every thing in context.
I think part of the challenge we face is a larger hurdle to get engaged with a task. So we either need something very interesting or stressful enough to capture our attention. But once it has our attention, it tends to have our full attention. Also we so frequently have to solve problems in a rush because we put it off until the last minute we are familiar with that mode of operation.
ADHD is thought to be caused in part by a deficiency of dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain. Dopamine is often thought of as the "feel good" neurotransmitter but it is actually a lot more important for motivation. Norepinephrine is responsible for fight or flight responses to stress/danger. Which is likely why anything that increases those two neurotransmitters helps us with ADHD to feel more neurotypical. eg. stressfull situations (norepinephrine) and fun/engaging activities (dopamine)
Yep, at work I'm the shit when it comes to putting out fires. I'm really good at it. I cannot stand most of the day to day, but when things break, guess who the first person they call for finding answers is. Hint, it's me.
I think the people who have mild ADHD symptoms are just trying to find a positive, but for those of us who have deeper issues it can seem like an insult when people talk about it in a positive way.
For me the worst part of ADHD is letting my emotions stifle momentum. If you have chronic depression, you will rarely feel the upsides of ADHD. So you get deadlocked - you're a fuckup because you're depressed, and you're depressed because you're a fuckup. Somehow you gotta break the cycle.
Are you me?
When I'm sending emails with files attached. I check the file like 10 times before clicking send.
I wouldn’t call it a superpower by itself but I have definitely learned how my brain works to my advantage. Programming is a perfect example, I have found that my brain makes connections that others do not when writing code to solve a problem. I have also found that I am able to work through large complex problems when troubleshooting as well which has definitely been a bonus.
Over the years I have been able to get myself to form habits that make me check my own work or strict work so it’s impossible to miss something. For example, working in and with infrastructure automation etc ended up being a fantastic fit for me because I can hyperfocus and make the automation run flawlessly and then I don’t have to worry about using it because I already know it works.
Definitely anecdotal and might not apply to you but hope it was at least a little helpful. You are definitely not alone either, those types of things absolutely happened to me all of the time when I was in school. Thank the computer gods for version control, code linters, and unit tests 😃
In the same vein, I find that even many other programmers without ADHD find the coding process to be tedious, which is perfectly understandable (a lot of it is just sitting there typing known solutions rather than solving new ones). Somehow, I am perfectly suited to handling certain tedious tasks because I can somehow focus on the task while also being somewhere else inside my head; eliminating the feeling of boredom.
The problem is that I have no control over this ability. It happens with some things and not with others and trying to force it is futile.
Well said, after many years I learned that if I just do what it wants to do then it’s way easier for everyone. I have been lucky (and intentionally worked toward) to have a career that lets me work whenever and wherever I want and management that doesn’t care as long as the work gets done so that has helped a ton. I also have recognized and communicate to my managers that while I do like money it is boredom that will make me quit the fastest so bring me all of the interesting and “impossible” problems and I’ll be a happy engineer hah.
Coding is tedious?
Isn't that the best part?
Like I make words on screen do things in the magic smoke box and people pay me
ADHD is neither a flaw nor a superpower IMO, (in most, non severe cases)- most 'ADHD' is a normal neural varient. Some people are starved of dopamine due to desensitization/lack of rewarding tasks in life, and some people have a clinical lack of neurotransmitters that need to be supplemented.
I struggled for years through highschool and most of college with my ADHD, and it wasn't until I (somewhat accidently) found myself working in emergency medicine that I could see it as positive at all.
In a hunter gather society, most of what we term 'ADHD' would be a huge benefit- the ability to rapidly learn, rapidly switch tasks, and do a little of everything. The issue is our current society doesn't reward these traits- we are physically sedentary, and ask ever increasing concentration on ever more abstract tasks of our workers. It's not that you are broken; it's that society doesn't play to your strengths- AT ALL.
In the ER, I'm very happy, because most of my work consists on hyperfocusing for super short stents, then moving on to the next thing. Additionally, I actually calm down somewhat and can self regulate much, much better than I can in ordinary life. As you may know, one of the hallmarks of ADHD is a lack of dopamine- part of what makes concentration so difficult for us and why we seek constant stimulation. In the high pressure, high stimulus enviroment of the ER, it's almost feels like time slows down for me- I feel calm and super focused, which is very rare for me in daily life.
I'm not saying all this to convince you to work in emergency medicine, only to provide a contrast- I used to want to be an engineer, and frankly I would be (even nore) dependent on stimulants if I tried to do a job like that.
I was a paramedic for years. Same situation. Bouncing around from job to job was the best part. After leaving being a medic I've had a bunch of jobs. So many. I just can't stay interested.
It's less important but this is why I've been so successful in fast paced retail environments. Go go go, figure it out on the fly. Been called one of the most adaptable managers ever seen.
Unless I forget... Which I do forget what I call P5 things. Priority 1 is critical, P5 is non important non urgent. Those tasks seem to just disappear.
I'm the same but IT for hedge funds. Everything to them is an emergency and I can learn new tech almost over night.
Ask me to take a test on the finite details of the tech and I'm screwed (so no certs).
I am the go to guy for anything urgent or new because they know I'll focus on nothing else until I'm done. Sometimes they will Door dash my lunch because they know I'll forget.
I took wanted to be an engineer but I cannot study at all.
"Nice work" this is your adhd trick, that dopamine release when you solve a problem. I'm 25 plus years working now, different career's but that trick, that solve issue get dopamine, I've realized I can quite literally fix anything now, could change jobs in the morning and be working on my own with no support in under a month.
Anything except chemisty and this phone's autocorrect.
You can take that trick and apply it on anything else, just frame what you need to do as problem.
I see this a lot and dismiss it constantly. I also wrongly dismissed to-do lists before my old therapist (who himself had and specialized in ADHD) told me how to write them: not, “do the dishes,” but “gather up the pots, soap them, gather the silverware, put them in a pot, fill with hot water, …etc.”
Do you have any insight on how to actually view nebulous assignments as puzzles/problems?
Not who you're replying to but had to chime in to say: That's an interesting tip on todo lists. Which I hate normally.
I feel like it would also help me to just write the first step. To get me over the initial hump of starting.
"All you have to do for now is gather pots, that's all...oh and maybe idk see where the next 5 minutes take you, whatev" would probably result in me focusing on dishes and finishing lol.
I don't do well with nebulous, large scope, strategic assignments. It's too overwhelming. I know I can break it down but it is just a massive list of things I will struggle to do. At least that's how it has been in the past. It does help to work with someone and bounce ideas.
I'm better at fixing things or improving upon things. (Processes, training programs, technical solutions,...). So I try to avoid taking on the aforementioned projects and focus on fixing things or analyzing things which I'm very good at. I've been able to finally overcome mid career stumble that led me to get diagnosed and build a good reputation.
Just as your therapist and agent_flounder say, always start at the very start, just that small step first and remember to stop, don't go full hyperfocus and attempt the whole huge project in one go. let say you complete three small parts/decisions, slap yourself on the back and go for walk/coffee/game.
At the kinda base of it, it is about steering yourself into the flow, if you start small and get an early success hit, then tackle a slightly bigger item, you'll be moving along nicely in no time.
We're all taking about career stuff right now, but don't be afraid to throw in non work stuff, I'm WFH now and I may start the day with some CAD design, slap that part into the printer then start mirroring a customers VM to trouble shoot some janky java that'll only fail on there eviroment. I won't solve why that crap is flaking out but at the end of the day I'll have a new part in my hand and a testing enviroment to begin with the next day. Time then for exercise/chill/motorcycle ride until the kids come home and the real work begins lol
PS some days I'll be delighted to have sent an email, can't win all the time.
ADHD is my super power as long as I do not need to be productive.
In work or school then yeah, i can barely function
I think it stems from mistranslation.
Even before I knew I had ADHD, I tried to focus on the things I was good (less terrible) at, and when I got in the zone, things came together for me. If I were to explain hyperfocus to a normy as an increased focus and clarity, they will imagine it from THEIR normal amount of focus, but in reality, hyperfocus probably isn't superhuman, it's just catching up to everyone else.
I don't disagree but thinking of the disorder in purely negative terms is not helpful. It feels like there are some things we are better at. Listening to comedy podcasts I discover many comedians are ADHD and adjacent types e.g. autism. It wouldn't be a surprise to learn that many creative people are classified as 'disordered'. I think the key to managing this condition are
- medication
- good routines (sleep, work, diet, exercise)
- self awareness and acceptance
If you take one or more of these away, life among neurotypical people becomes untenable. It's in comparison to neurotypical people that we can feel inadequate and anything we can do to address those issues will improve the situation for everyone.
This may be a not well-liked opinion, but I think ADHD is severely overdiagnosed. And I believe the biggest reason for that is our extremely competitive society. And also a misunderstanding about what it means to be happy or fulfilled.
Another reason could be that people who do not have ADHD share some of the symptoms because of how our society interacts with technology/media.
People are looking for an explanation why they can't reach what they believe is a necessity. But it's often just a bar that is way too high for the average person. And it should actually be okay to not reach it.
There is probably a bunch of other health issues that also share this problem.
If ADHD is a superpower for someone, it quite obviously isn't a mental health issue for them (anymore). They either never had it in the first place or they have gotten rid of it.
ADHD may be overdiagnosed in some ways eg. children young for their grade, hyperactive boys etc. but it is definitely underdiagnosed in other ways eg. primarily inattentive, girls/women etc.
It is clear from research that men and women are probably equally likely or close to it, to have ADHD but the ADHD tends to manifest differently due to socialization. i.e boys tend to exhibit outward hyperactivity and impulsivity while girls tend to exhibit inattention and inner hyperactivity i.e restless mind, squirm in their seat etc. and are more commonly misdiagnosed as having anxiety, depression and other conditions that can mimic aspects of ADHD.
Inattentive ADHD (which is what I have) tends to be underdiagnosed because quite frankly, people tend not to care that much about you having ADHD until you inconvenience them because of it. Inattention is arguably less disruptive to others than hyperativity. i.e the space cadet vs the kid bouncing off the walls.
Sure, I know that there are multiple problems with the diagnosis! I was specifically talking about a tendency of pathologizing everyone who doesn't fulfill societal expectations or who deviates from the norm in some aspects of their life.
ADHD would mean someone has severe problems in all aspects of their life. Not just in one aspect, for example only in school/work/university.
I feel it is getting increasingly unbalanced in favour of seeing the issues in people instead of addressing the issues in the system.
Superpower ≠ no flaws/maladaptions
Exactly. Superman may be the most powerful being on Earth, but hit him with kryptonite or magic and he folds like a deck of cards. A molotov cocktail will bring the Martian Manhunter to his knees. The Green Lantern is boned against anything yellow.
Completely agreed. I'd go a step further and say that if you haven't received a psycho educational assessment, you should not be claiming that you have ADHD.
People who claim having ADHD has benefits or is a super power are just saying it to make it sound less bad. The reality is that ADHD sucks. It's not impossible to deal with most of the time once you learn more about yourself and how your ADHD impacts you and what can help you manage the symptoms. Every individual is different. And sometimes we just have to accept that we mess up and that, although we are responsible for those mess ups and we have to work extra hard to blend in and try not to mess up too badly, it's also a handicap that we didn't ask for.
I don't get why people say they have certain positive traits thanks to their ADHD. Why can't it be because they themselves, as people, are good at something? Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and every individual is unique. ADHD makes things more difficult, but not impossible. We just have to work with what we have and all we can do is try to find ways to get what we want in a way that works for us.
I've had moments where I genuinely felt like ADHD has benefited me, like when went into hyperfocus mode and launched some new project I would have never started otherwise. I feel like I'm a bit more creative and enthusiastic at times. But 99% of the time ADHD is just a condition that sucks for me.
Is that shitty ability to concatenate bad situations a symptom? Because damn... I don't know how can I defy luck so much.
I was diagnosed a few years ago. I disagree with you. Yes, there are some things that are harder for me to do. But, I'm really good at my EMS job, and a significant portion of the most competent individuals I work with are also ADHD. I would not be as good as I am without being ADHD. Though, it would have been easier to get through the class to get my license without it.
So first off, on a personal note, I just wanna take a second and acknowledge that it sounds like you're really "in it." You're feeling the familiar frustration, and the shame. That little voice in the back of your head that whispers, "I'm not enough" is loud and clear right now. It sounds like you've had a lot going on, maybe you're burntout, and you're sick of feeling like a failure? All of that is totally valid, and it makes sense why you'd feel that way given the lifetime of negative reinforcement you've received, the recent diagnosis, and all the pressure to just be able to do what others can. I think most of us here, especially those of us that were also diagnosed as adults, can relate to those feelings in a big way. I know I can. I'm really sorry that you're going through that. :(
On a discussion-oriented note, generally speaking, I think it's important to be able to see ADHD holistically. It is a debilitating disability and it is comorbid with some really awesome/interesting qualities. It is not a superpower, but it is also not all bad, either; it's not just one thing, it's a whole-ass neurotype that comes with all the quirks and kinks any other brain has.
Your experience might be that you don't believe the trade-off is worth it, and you know, most days I would agree with you. I think most people here would. The truth is, though, it's really no better or worse than any other brain in terms of being a good, functional brain. ADHD is not an illness. We are only disabled insofar as society is disabling to us. The world was not built for us, and until we make some more equitable, systemic changes, we will continue to struggle. Just as modern buildings need to include wheelchair ramps and wider doorframes for people with walking aids, the future of society needs to include us in its design. We need accommodation to be able to thrive, and under the right conditions, it would not at all be out of the question.
None of this is meant to absolve us of accountability or responsibility, and it's not to say that nothing is really our fault, or that the pain we experience isn't valid. I just mean to say that we spend a lot of time beating ourselves up and commiseratting getting beat down by the world, which is completely understandable, but is there a different conversation that might be more beneficial to us? How can we educate our bosses and teachers and parents about us? How do we make sure that kids are being appropriately diagnosed, and that girls and children of color get diagnosed, as well? What could an ADHD/Autism-friendly work environment look like? What about ADHD/Autism-friendly supermarkets? How can we change stigma, expectations, and our environments to be better? Don't we deserve better? Yes, having ADHD sucks as it stands, but does it have to?
That's just my 2¢, anyway.
We are only disabled insofar as society is disabling to us.
This line is reasoning really frustrates me
It doesn't matter what society I live in, I'm still going to forget people's birthdays, I'm going to forget to call them, I'm going to forget promises I made, I'm going to turn up late for things etc.
All of those things negatively impact my relationships, even in worlds built to include us
Society could absolutely be shaped better for us and reduce the issues we face, but that isn't the total picture
I understand the frusteration--I know it feels like an unrealistic suggestion. But I think it's important to question whether a more general understanding of ADHD could help? Like if people knew that, because you have ADHD, forgetting a date or something is not a sign that you don't care about them as it's out of your control. Maybe people in your life could learn how you express that they are important to you. They could learn to appreciate you for who you are and forgive you for who you are not. I know, for me, I greatly appreciate when someone remembers my birthday or an important date, but I don't hold it against them when they don't/can't.
That's what I mean. It's not reasonable to expect us to conform to every societal expectation when we literally can't, especially when others might have more flexibility to meet us where we are (or even in the middle) and don't currently put in that effort a lot of the time. People could be more aware and compassionate of our condition, just as they won't be mad of someone with a walker can't help them move. It doesn't mean they don't want to help or that they don't care, they just don't have the mobility. People understand that, so why couldn't they understand us, too?
It's definitely not, but I like to be optimistic so while I'd never call it a super power I do celebrate things that it makes easier for me.
I feel like I've yet to find anything my ADHD makes easier for me. Only my triple checks and balances systems make things not as stressful but it's at the cost of extra time and energy. I'm great at my job, but I never have any energy left for myself outside my job. I'm just limping along, doing my best to succeed half as much as everyone else because I'm so tired.
Yeah, for me it’s more like I somehow ended up working in the right environment that curtails with my ADHD (the ER). In this realm the task switching and hyperfocus actually makes me more efficient than a lot of other folks, but I would be absolutely trash working in a different area.
I feel you. And what helped me the most was to start taking Methylphenidate.
I randomly got interested in a niche industry and started hyperfocusing on learning about it in my free time, without any intent other than indulging my curiosity. Sometime afterwards I was looking for work and saw an opportunity in that industry. I responded and was able to come across like a highly experienced enthusiast whom specialised in the field the company needed experience in. They hired me and I quickly became the most senior person in the company in technical areas related to the industry. It was a large pay increase, the company is great and I've been with them for many years now. None of it would've happened without my highly inquisitive nature, which I consider as a positive effect of my ADHD. The specific opportunity coming up was still complete luck. But given the number of tangents I've gone on in the past, diving deep into learning the intricacies of some niche or hobby, I'd likely be open to similar kinds of opportunities in those areas in ways I've never even considered. I've always thought of it as just 'going with the flow', but I think for the average neurotypical person it's often unreasonable to think that would actually get you far in life.
When I was younger, it could feel like a super power when I could hyper focus on something, but as I grow older, my body is showing clear signs of long term damage from substance abuse as self medication as well as getting fat from food binges following 12 hours hyper focus sessions.
It turns out eating 3600 calories in one meal is worse than 3 800 calories meals. Who would've thunk.
Eventually, the "good job" stops coming. The little oversights start to pile up. It's not a super power. It's damaging physically to act like it is.
I love the hyper focus, but the fucking thing is slowly killing me.
The fact that you even have the hyperfocus to try and fix the technical aspect was due to adhd. Most people don't even bother to understand the computer they're using.
It is a superpower, just not in the mandatory education decree we live in nowadays.
I guess the worst part must be that everybody sees you as defficient, when actually it's the society they build which blocks and hurts your hyperfast brain.