Everything hurts. I know I am going to die single but that doesn’t lessen the pain.

I'm sorry you feel that way. Are you seeking help?
- 4 years in therapy. There is some progress. But, things haven’t really changed. I am just too lonely . Perhaps, always will be. I don’t have friends, I keep getting ghosted. Perhaps, I am just a terrible person who doesn’t deserve to be alive.. I don’t know.
  
  Apologies if you've tried this but have you looked for activities that do meetups? Things like book clubs or gardening? Finding people in more natural social settings

Sending you thoughts and compassion via the physical world, but letting you know here via the internet, so you know what you are receiving. I will be imagining you smiling inside and feeling a bit better when you read this and send some back to someone else when you feel better.
When you have a chance today look up “yoga nidra” and “NSDR” on YouTube and give it try a on short version of the guidance to alleviate some of the pain.
May you be safe, may you be healthy, may you be well my internet friend.

I hope you find something near you that makes you feel the brief moment that is life to appreciate it outside its habitat. The darkness we can live in can make you strong enough to lift the crust to see the light in our moments of strength: of all people those in darkness are most fit to appreciate it and understand its absence from ourselves. I wish you as many moments as you can muster, brilliant you, as you are.

- Solitude and loneliness are two very different things
- I don't think that's called being lonely then. Perhaps you mean you've been alone for ten years.
  
  I am not very good with English.