I posted a nude online for my first time a couple weeks back. I don't normally send many nudes, but I'd wanted to do this for a while and finally pulled the trigger on a photo I liked. It was a really great experience, everyone in the comments was so friendly! Definitely incentivized me to post another one sometime.
Last Saturday I went on a casual first date at a sushi place with a girl from Hinge. I liked her and hoped we would meet up again: she was cool to talk to, which was the most important thing, and also, while I don't exactly have a type per se, I do like some nice boobs, and sweet mother of mercy, did she have some. But she apparently didn't enjoy our date as much as I did, because she ghosted me afterwards. I sent her a few more texts over a couple of days, but alas, no joy was forthcoming.
I spent a couple more days feeling like twice-eaten dog kibble and being acutely aware of how touch-starved I still was, but I had another Hinge match I hadn't talked to in a week because of the first one, so on Thursday, after reality had set in, I hit her up (while... admittedly not being fully truthful about why I hadn't done so earlier, which I do feel kinda bad about even being reassured by a friend that I shouldn't) on the offchance I hadn't totally screwed myself by leaving it that long, and to my utter astonishment, she responded! And it turned out she was dealing with some serious shit at work (not wanting to be too specific, let's just say that since I had last talked to her, she'd walked out of the job and her therapist advised her to sue).
So I drew on my experience of having a prosecutor for a dad and gave her some tips for how to prepare a case, and then drew on my experience having had painful and traumatic experiences and offered to take her to a cat cafe in the city on Saturday, which she immediately accepted. Unfortunately, I got unlucky with transit, so by the time we actually met up at the cat cafe, they were minutes away from closing, but we were in the city, so we just went bar hopping instead: we got to know each other over wine, then once my not being a murderer had been established, relocated and got significantly stronger (and less expensive) margaritas.
We get into our cozy little booth in the bar, we get the social lubricant going, and after a while her hand is in mine, and I start giving her a hand massage. Most people carry a lot of tension in their hands and wrists, particularly when they're dealing with a lot of stress: if you've never gotten your hands and wrists properly worked over by somebody who knows what they're doing, do it, it'll change your life. And lucky for her, I'm a professional musician specializing in piano, so I've had it done to me enough to know how to do it, and I have the hands to do it very well. So she's saying how good it feels, and as we're talking I can feel her whole body relaxing next to me, she does the "why do you like me" thing that women I date seem to like asking me, and I tell her that I like her because I've been enjoying her company, because I think what she does is interesting (I won't specify, but it was a really interesting job hamstrung by lawsuit-worthy management), and also because I find her attractive, and then she says "Would you please kiss me?"
Sweet mother of mercy.
Well, long story short, we made out in the bar until a really bad smell wafted in, then walked around the area a little bit kissing each other some more until we both needed to get home, with her at one point starting to ask me something and then forgetting what it was because I was "too distracting." Then eventually we wound up back at my transit stop to go home, she called an uber to get herself home and then we kept making out until the uber arrived... about thirty seconds later, because fucking of course it would show up immediately the one time you kinda wanted it to take a while (she also expressed annoyance at this).
We have already made plans to meet up again in a few days, and will actually go to the cat cafe this time.
TL;DR Went on a date, got ghosted afterwards. Felt like shit. Then had an abrupt reversal of fortune, got another date, and made out with her at a bar. Also, cats.
I know! A little bit later she got flustered and said "sorry if that was too forward," and I said something like "Imma be real, that was the hottest thing anybody has said to me in ages." So many good feelings.
The last time, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and to go to a facility I never went to. But the magic didn't work.
Too big and too busy, it felt like an indoor public pool. Too much mirror walls (I'm very nearsighted, it's not convenient). A questionable policy about condom distribution..
Nevertheless, I decided to give a chance to the place, and I had some oral fun with a guy.
Usually, I have 3 or 4 partners in row but this time, all I wanted after that was a piece of cake and a cup of tea.
I found a bakery on my way back home.
Also, I did my coming out to my doctor this morning to talk about STD prevention and vaccines (papillomavirus, hepatitis). She had me tested (I'm clean), and she offered to prescribe PrEP without my having to ask.
This is really interesting. Good for you to keep exploring and learning. Did you learn anything in particular about yourself or sexuality in general this time?
You can also get a prescription for DoxyPEP which will reduce the risk of other STDs. Ask about it. You take it in addition to PrEP, not instead. Stay safe, my bi brother!
I've discovered a new serenity (I'm no longer afraid of lack), in a context that corresponds to my ethics (no one exploits anyone for that).
It also unblocked something in my relationship. My partner is no longer worried that I'm frustrated by her lack of libido. She knows that she has all the time she needs to make it come back, without pressure, without fear that it might one day be a reason for breaking up.
What I've learned specifically about sex. First of all, I've always loved being sucked (by a girl, until recently) for the physical feelings. I realized that I was also projecting myself in her place.
Besides, I never thought a glans could be so soft on the lips.
I also discovered how unpleasant it is to have your head pressed down while you're sucking (I never did that before). You're there, making your best to give pleasure to your partner, and they are obviously more interested in seeing you puke.
I also understood the letting go and the trust it needs to be penetrated. When you're on your knees, with someone in your back, you feel so vulnerable.
As a feminist ally, it's an incredible (and still very incomplete) experience to live.
Edit: about DoxyPEP, this treatment is not allowed yet for STD prevention in my country.
Right now, my doctor is already making an exception for me, as she prescribed a not authorized dosage for PrEP.
Last weekend my girlfriend and I went out for a date night to the club where we first met! Bought new dresses, got all dolled up, really went all out, it was amazing! We had drinks and danced our asses off, and there were several girls who came up dancing with us and not so subtly making moves for more. We were totally wrapped up in each other though, and we were all over each other at our seats. Things got pretty heated, and the naughtiness of being in public was so delicious (plus we were both pretty tipsy at the time), she ended up fingering me to orgasm right at the table! I get a little loud when I come, so she muffled me with a kiss right when it happened, if just to keep me from screaming out in the middle of the club. I feel like we got away with it pretty well, but we were definitely getting smiles and thumbs up from a few people who caught what was happening. After that we decided to stop pushing our luck and went home for some privacy for the rest of the night. Absolutely amazing time all around!
This weekend was much more tame, I made us a nice dinner then we took a nice night walk just people watching and enjoying each other. I also introduced her to my sister, she's the first one in my family I've opened up to about being in a relationship with a woman. She's super supportive and it went really well, they really seemed to get along! I'm working my way up to telling my parents and this was a big step
Dang you and the gf are really going all out, and I continue to root for you. I'm envious that you have such great physical and personal chemistry. I'm so glad to hear your sister is cool with it; all the best with your parents!
I wonder if I'd be on the same path with J if he lived locally. I've never been in a relationship with another man beforeβ¦
Thanks, I really lucked out meeting her, we're having such a great time! I'm still winging it and trying to figure things out as I go, but these past couple months have been so great with her! I hope you and J can make it work, it sucks that you're so far from each other. But hey, if the feelings are there, I bet you guys can make it work!
Kinda funny how it happened actually. We had talked about it a few times and were both interested in trying it, but she seemed a bit hesitant. That night we were in bed and things were getting sexy. The lights were off and I was at an awkward angle and I honestly just missed what I was aiming for. She was surprised but definitely seemed really turned on and told me to keep going so we continued. Didn't have lube so we really didn't get far but it was enough to know that we were both super down to try again soon, definitely with lube next time.
Don't get too excited, it wasn't sex, but my wife and I cuddled with a friend. Earlier this year my wife cuddled with someone and for whatever reason it pissed me off. I did a lot of soul searching about it. They (my wife) told me it was totally platonic and I believe them but it just pissed me off. I finally came to the conclusion that I was jealous because nobody was cuddling with me lol. As simple as that.
So fast forward to a few weeks ago, we had a friend visit from out of town. We sort of joked about them being a third (see my other comment on this thread for details there lol) but decided against it. We did go back over our boundaries that we consider cheating. A friend of ours is being cheated on by her husband -- they're doing ethical non monogamy but he's breaking every rule they set forth so it's just cheating and gaslighting in my eyes. Anyways, because of that the two of us are like more talkative about our boundaries lately lol. So we say cuddles and even short kisses are fine, just don't grope or make out. This is when my wife was like making sure because earlier this year that happened with the other friend. My wife is great, I fucking love them.
Anyways, so I told them, I will definitely get upset if no one is cuddling with me while the two of them do if they do. But I sort of narrowed it down to that even if it's my wife like in the middle cuddling with me and them it won't make me jealous. I just need anyone cuddling with me.
We were going to go to a haunted house earlier in their stay (they are they/them pronouns) but I was getting over a cold. We had our big annual Halloween party coming. That's why they flew in. I really didn't want to get them sick and miserable during that. So I chose to stay home. I was really really looking forward to them clinging to me. Like we were talking about it. It's not some weird hope I just dreamt up that would happen. I was going to be in the front, my wife in the back, and they were going to be between us because they're so scared of haunted houses. They even said they would probably just cling to me the whole time lol.
But we did have a few moments where everything aligned. I don't want this post to just sound depressing lol. We were showing them to various gay bars in the area. We went to one and, shocking, but got drunk lol. All three of us get more physical when we're drunk. I know my wife and I are on the same page but I think they were to, but like we want to be more physical with friends but it's so tricky to do without seeming weird, especially once the relationship dynamic is set. Either way we all had a lot of contact with each other that night. The part that sticks out was when we were on the porch. I had a arm around each of their shoulders and they were holding hands. The nights a blur but I remember giving my wife a smooch on the head for some reason and our guest was right there so they got one too. The other moment was minor but we cuddled on our own porch. I sort of laid my arm out and both of them rested their heads on it like a pillow.
So there you have it. Some sort of naughty sort of not so naughty fun I had recently.
Yes! More from a sake of transparency and excitement but yeah. The touching and cuddling was all very obvious but I wasn't sure they knew I gave them a little kiss on the head too. They thought it was cute and were happy for me.
Both of us (my wife and I) have always wanted to be more physical with friends and get very physically affectionate when we're drunk. We talk to each other about how we always want to do this sort of thing but even the risk of talking about it might make people too uncomfortable. It was really nice finally getting to do it. β€οΈ
I can relate to getting frustrated with nobody cuddling you. I recently started seeing someone after being touch starved for what seemed like a really long time, and it's such a relief to finally have someone you can be intimate with, even if it's only platonic (if that makes sense, which I think it does). Makes a huge difference. People say you need to learn to be happy with yourself because no one else can make you happy, but if the reason you're unhappy is because you're starved for physical contact, then...
This week was weird as it started in Pasadena for a conference, and then Monday through Friday I moved over to Beverly Hills. The last few days were entirely about connecting with the guy from LA, who we'll just call J.
Monday Within two hours of checking into my hotel, a guy came over for some making out and a passionate breeding. He was ready to go and I was happy to give it to him. He lived near my hotel and wanted to meet up more, but as you'll see things took a different turn.
Tuesday afternoon Had a guy come over on his way to visit his mom in another nearby hotel π incredibly hot, wanted to blow me and leave. Used his finger to massage my prostate too and it was a powerful orgasm. He jerked himself off and cleaned up before he left.
Tuesday afternoon as I was leaving Equinox I got cruised on Grindr by a guy who wanted to fool around in the steam room. I decided not to, and was thinking about checking out my hotel's pool instead. Kind of still regret it a little bit.
Tuesday evening OMG my guy J visiting NYC from LA a few weeks back wanted to meet up. You might remember we vibed so hard. We met just for dessert in the evening, but oops the cafe was closing so we went to his place to finish dessert. Caught up, cuddled naked watching Seinfeld, cuddled naked after I tucked him in bed, then he brought me to orgasm while we were 69'ing. I've never done that before. I don't usually stay hard while focusing on giving a blowjob. But this guy, we have some kind of effect on each other it's amazing. He was also surprised at how hard he is with me, even when it's late at night.
Thursday afternoon my guy J comes over to my hotel and we have a nice swim together, watch the sun set on the roof top, and go out for some really great sushi in Beverly Hills. Then back to my hotel room, and things heat up fast. I didn't cum on Wednesday because I know he wanted me to breed him with a big load. Really our chemistry is something else. I use some off my prostate toys on him and also give him a nice prostate massage with my finger. I rim him good. After massaging his gorgeous muscular rower's back for a while, I get really hard and a little forceful in pushing him down on the bed. We fuck really really hard, but every time I start to reinsert he has to remind me to start "slow" and it's tough but I obliged. Eventually I gave him what he wanted. I coach him to orgasm by his own hand.
Thursday night tired, J and I shower together, wear the fuzzy hotel robes, order room service (banana split and chocolate chip cookies) and watch an episode of Star Trek TNG, which he had never seen before! When we get into bed to sleep for a few hours, I get really hard again and he gives me a blow job and takes another load from me. Tries to jerk off but he's too tired. We sleep a few hours.
Friday 4am I have to leave to go to the airport, quietly get completely dressed and my guy is sleeping naked like a baby in my bed. I wake him up for a kiss goodbye and he's sooooo sad. He wants to cum once more with my cock in his mouth, so I unzip and he quickly gets me hard again. My god I wish I had a photo. Me standing at the edge of the bed, fully dressed with my cock in this hunk's mouth, and he's naked, lying down, and cumming all over himself while looking up at me. What a great end to a really sexy vacation.
J and I are still texting about how amazing the experience was. For hours after he told me he could still feel me thrusting inside him. Very hot.
This weekend I was with my family for Diwali and definitely ate too much rich food and sweets. A different kind of naughty :-)
Week before
Really busy with work before my vacation
Had a dinner date with a neighbor I met on Scruff and potential FWB before I left NYC. It was just dinner this time though π so I went over to my local glory hole guy for a long and skilled bj this time without the curtain π he said he likes how quiet I am but still giving feedback. Said I should try making myself more comfortable and even talking dirtier to him next time. I found it easier to enjoy myself this time - I think I'm getting better at receiving pleasure and staying in the moment.
In Pasadena the guys were all really weird. Ask me for stories and I will share.
I did make out with another hotel guest who was pretty hot, but I never got really hard with him, even though he did. Weird?
Ah I'm sorry to hear that. Wish you were closer, we'd have some fun I bet. Pasadena stories:
first of all most of the guys really weren't that attractive. It was slim pickings.
wanted my hotel and room number before he shared any pics or we agreed to meet. He blocked me when I brought this up instead of giving him my info.
wanted to meet one day to get to know each other first, dude I'm here for 2 days specifically to hook up
absolutely smoking hot as fuck and yeah, totally dtf bottom and yeah, okay let's meet up and need around. Ah now you're experiencing body image issues and don't want to hook up?
wanted me to fuck him but with a condom. How's about a blowjob instead? He wanted me to wear a condom for a bj, too?!
Little stories about my time with J this week. Mostly so I don't forget:
read his microreactions that he didn't want a banana cream pie from the cafe so we got the tiramisu instead
cuddling on the sofa with his head on my lap, playing with his messy hair. He saying something but I'm just staring in his eyes and I can't help but bend down to kiss him
after sex him remarking how clean he was down there and I said "You really were. Good job." and planting a nice peck on his cheek.
J showing me where he used to work, and then going to a fantastic sushi place that's a favorite of his
sharing a joint slowly over the course of the evening not to get high but to mellow and enjoy our limited time together even more
letting him have two out of the three luxardo cherries on the sundae because I could tell he really loved them
him biking over to my hotel because it was faster than driving and he was all sweaty π
debating if he has to brush again after swallowing my cum before he goes to sleep. I think yes because it has sugar in it.
ordering fancy cocktails at the rooftop pool and literally being the only people to actually go into the water
telling him to get the smoked salmon for breakfast at the hotel after I'm checking out and he's sleeping in when I needed to leave on Friday early morning π I let him stay in the room that morning. He needed the rest.
The stories with J are so hot and lovely. Do you think your relationship will evolve in a more stable way? (Exclusive relationship, non-monogamous relationship, friend with benefits..)