The Job

Job qualifiers in listings imagine a perfect candidate who doesn't exist. Don't let that stop you from applying. They understand that you can learn new skills.

A friend of mine was applying for a job where they required "at least 5 years knowledge with Angular version X.Y.Z" (can't remember the exact version, but they asked for all three numbers).

He said "I've got 7 years of knowledge with version X-2 to X+2".

The HR person was like "But you don't have 5 years of knowledge with version X.Y.Z, so you don't fit for the job".

The real fun part was that version X.Y.Z had only been out for two years at that time.

A person who created a thing (language or similar) pointed out that a job listing wanted more experience than time that the thing had existed.
- It was the creator of FastAPI ! Sorry, the post I took the image blurred the name!
Bogus job description because no-one was actually needed but the budget must be kept?
And HR/employement person didnt know (or did) better and thus decided lile that?
- What my company used to do, person A asks for higher hour rate. Manager can't get approval from his manager.
  Person A quits, but is told you can always apply for the job again. Request for a new hire is made, people show up, also person A. In the end person A is hired for a better hour rate.
  I do know a scrum coach that tried this only to be not hired because person B showed up and they liked him more.
- Tech recruiters really can be this dumb. I've been on both ends several times.
  I remember hiring for a test dev, writing the description for the recruiter, I included all the things I'd like to see. Python, test automation experience, open source contributions etc (this was for a public facing repo).
  I get back a question a day later asking if they need Java or not. That felt really out of place so I walked over and had a conversation. Turns out they were filtering out anyone who had more than requested. Python AND Java experience? No thank you.
  On the upside once we ironed that out I ended up hiring two people I've been friends with for a decade+. Sometimes the recruiters just need help.
  Now the other side of things...I've definitely had recruiters screw up and lose very good candidates, but it was always for stupid shit like they forgot to send the offer letter for a week or they accidentally put them in the "no" pile.
  Heh, this one time we got a recruiter ping our team out of the blue saying they had a candidate. No one knew what the hell the position was for. Turns out the recruiters had forgot about a bunch of openings we had closed like a year before, they just never took down the postings. We asked him how he found the job, and the candidate said he manual went through the thousands of open positions until he found one that fit him. He hired him after the first round and he turned out to be awesome.

Minimum qualifications:

master’s degree (or preferably PhD) in computer science, computer engineering, or related field.
15 years of experience in developing finite element modeling simulations and implementing them as embedded, real time, distributed, and multithreaded applications.
Proficiency in the following languages: Python, C, C++, Rust, Ruby, MATLAB, Visual Basic, C#, JavaScript, R, PHP, Perl, Go, and Swift. COBOL is a plus.

The actual job

Write an html page for our team on our website.

Qualification inflation and no other suitable opportunities.
Employers have blatantly ridiculous demands because they will find people who cater to these demands in a shit system and shit economy.
- I mean, just because they post an ad for a rocket surgeon doesn't mean they find one. At least in the US, compsci professionals do not have any trouble finding work.
Thank you. Not super techie and just needed the meme explained.
And btw… sounds like damn good work if you can get it.
- Until it's really unfulfilling.
Can't you sue a company when they do this?

"We must first implement base functionality, then we will add all the auxiliary components."

x months pass

"Alright, base functionality has been implemented and it works. Good job team, lets ship it!"

Hey, do I work for you?
- The project itself is very boring. This is why I sprinkle in fun stuff on top of the project that devs will get to do once the boring part is done.
  But oh no! We had just enough time to finish the "boring part" and no time for "the rest of the project", darn it! :(
- You do now!

I'd really prefer to maintain the crap Jenkins server we were using, but noooo some dipshit higher up got his cock sucked by some M$ exec so it's github actions now 'cos the cloud will save the world.

I'm not very experienced but I really love GitHub actions :). However it's probably not a portable skill, but anyway I know Docker so I can just use that if I need automated builds outside of GitHub
I would love to use GH Actions instead tbh or woodpecker

Learn bash. Learn jenkins. You'll thank me later

Omg... I think I'm showing my age 😅 I thought that was "ask jeeves" (pre google Internet search thing) and it was a joke about developers looking things up so the time on the job
In a great place, the python symbol would be on both sides too. All the other ones are best just left.

There’s also ”we do machine learning”, which usually translates to ”someone trained an SVM model 10 years ago”.

Frankly, the only respectable way to do it!
It's a useless fiction for hiring, but highly effective for getting money from the dumber investors.

Straight up jenkin it

“Just jenkin it.”
Cyril Figgis
and by "it" I mean ... well ... my pipeline

This exact thing just happened to me. It wasn't just me, it was the whole team.

I'll see how it goes

What's this?

The promise of Jenkins and all the much more modern CI/CD tools when the job is ultimately just maintaining an aging Jenkins server.
- Ah I thought was a thing about ask jeaves

I know why they do this. The last guy's core job was Ask Jeeves, but he was involved in and at least touched all those other technologies. HR looks at last guy's resume, figures those are the skills needed, posts a mess.

SOURCE: Been the last guy, seen my replacement posting.

It's called Jenkins/Hudson
- I'm guessing that was bait, lol.
  Edit: Wait, was the logo similar? It was before my time.
- Hudson, now there is a name I haven't heard in a very long time.

Not knowing yourself; it's a lot like dating in that there's big dreams and ideas but the reality of what is needed on the daily often doesn't mesh. I find it helps to talk to other employees and ask about their job and roles to get an envelope of what the company actually needs vs. what they say they need.

Can't really so that with dating though!

Finding a job is like dating except if you are too picky you starve to death.

Feedback when you don't get the job: "They need someone who can be up to speed right away, and they thought your Grafana might be a little light."

Ask Jeeves?

Jenkins CI/CD
- Ah, I remember ops people talking about "Jankins"