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  • I've been working on this since I was a teen: learning to be precise, but concise, and let it go.

    Still haven't mastered it, and if let loose I'll write a wall of text or start talking about all the ramifications and dependencies, then worry about any misunderstandings... but over the years, I've learned that understanding works both ways.

    If something I write or say, can have two, three, or more interpretations, and someone directly picks the worst and most offensive one, then goes on the attack... they can f off. I can learn, I can clarify, and extend the benefit of the doubt to others, but refuse to be a punch bag (...and it still takes some effort to not respond in kind).

  • One thing that I've learned recently is that there's always going to be a degree of misunderstanding but if someone is chronically misunderstanding you and demeaning you, their problem isn't that they don't understand. They simply don't like you. Do not waste your time engaging with such people and take every measure to distance yourself from them.

    • I always suspected my mother didn't like me. She always assured me she loves me, but it only causes me to question the significance of spoken words. She subconsciously blames me for the shitty situation she got herself into.

      • Sometimes the "love" a parent feels for their child is because they view their child as an extension of themselves. This is why they get really upset if their child ever says or does something they wouldn't. Also, not taking accountability for their own behavior and pushing the burden of the consequences onto their children is a form of exploitation, emotional neglect, and abusive. These behaviors are characteristic of emotionally immature parents. I can relate to your experiences, unfortunately for the both of us. I highly recommend "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsay C. Gibson to make sense of a lot of nonsense that some parents do like what you described.

  • I also often notice that i won't even bother to try to put my thoughts into words because i just expect other people wouldn't understand anyways.

  • There is also this other type of nt person-- the kind who has got the Debate Brain. They're rhetorically inclined, if you know know I mean.

    They will listen to your entire account and then locate the one word which, if misconstrued, would spin the meaning of your account to the most uncharitable interpretation possible. They will focus on that ONE word, ignoring all of the surrounding context as just… be such a bother.

    I believe these people are either deeply hurt or some pathetic form of social vampire.

    Thank you for reading my rant.

    • Interact with these people the same way as you would interact with the police. Stay superficially polite, but also be as unhelpful to them as you can get away with.

      Also, the sentiment that they are bastards applies. (sorry, you triggered my emotions somehow and now i'm angry)

14 comments