White smoke appears from Sistine Chapel chimney, indicating a new pope has been elected
US Cardinal Prevost elected Pope Leo XIV, first American pontiff
I don't care for Christianity, but god I'd love it to see a black pope emerge, just to see the White Power writhes and scream.
I was really hoping for turkson
Those white power redneck types are all protestants and most of them have a vehement anti-Catholic streak. A black pope would just confirm to them whatever-the-hell conspiracy shit they already believe about the Catholic church, so it'd more or less just be spitting on a forest fire anyways.
Not that the Vatican shouldn't do it anyway, though.
I'd say most of them are protestants, but there's been a trend of a certain type of far-right "RETVRN TO TRADITION" wingnuts converting and becoming hardline tradcaths in the last decade or so. Those people absolutely would seethe over a black pope.
Nazis and KKK members already hate Catholics.
Pope Trump would be more likely
I just learned that there is a Cardinal Pizzaballa from Italy that is on the short list of expected potential popes. On name alone, I hope he wins. I know he won't be called Pope Pizzaballa, but in my heart that is what he'd be known as, spoken in the most Super Mario type accent imaginable
Edit: Sorry, not sorry, I couldn't help myself, you who are now perusing this thread have to see it as well
Time to deliver a pizza ball! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxOkeLQohC0
As far as I'm aware there is no rule he can't pick his own name as his pope name, should he want to be cool.
They love their ancient traditions, some of which significantly predate Christianity.
I know its pronounced Pizzaballa, but in my head it’s Pizza (techno air horns) BAWWWWWLAH!
Is that an official campaign poster?
I legitimately thought they were joking when they mentioned the name on TV just now.
In Italian or Latin, it would be “Papa Pizzaballa”.
This is going to be a tough conversation when they call. The farm takes up most of my day and at night I like a cup of tea, I might not be able to devote myself full time to being Pope.
Edit: that was easier than I thought it would be. They called and I told them straight up I didn't have time to be pope. They said they figured I would turn them down so they had a guy from Chicago as a back up.
Yeah! The world's largest cult has a new guru!
The world's largest religious denomination is Sunni Islam with 22.39% of the world's population (as of 2020). Catholic Christianity comes in a distant second with 15.88%.
Too many cults to keep track of, they are all brainrot
Sunni day, pushin’ the clouds away…. o/~
Who's their leader?
What tariffs will Trump declare when he finds out it's not him??
Trump taxing the Church? That's a funny thought.
100% tariff on indulgences.
“I declare a 100% tariff on all absolutions coming from the Vatican…”
Doesn't even need tariffs. Could just take away their tax exemption.
That seems relatively fast but I honestly can't be assed to research Catholic bureaucratic history.
Is this like Publisher's Clearing House? Will people show up at my door with balloons and big novelty hat to tell me I won?
I believe that's more of a Dalai Lama thing.
A new head pedofile has been chosen.
alternate theory: The Pope Smokes Dope
They're marketing the movie a year late. Smh.
You know they used ChatGPT to pick this new dude.
Haven't you heard? The cardinals are raw dogging it in there. https://nypost.com/2025/05/07/world-news/cbs-anchor-bizarrely-says-cardinals-are-raw-dogging-the-conclave-on-live-tv/
Most credible NY Post reporting.
Downvotes for that? Must have been some triggered pre-finger-blasted altered boys.
No no. Just means they require a new set of alter boys.
Edit: they picked the guy that didn’t do anything about abuse claims. Classic