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  • I have ADHD, and one thing that really helped me a lot was to try and build my life and my home around things that encourage the behaviors I want to engage in.

    An example; the Clio Greek yogurt bars I've been eating for snacks are expensive, yes. They have wrappers which have to be thrown out, which is terrible. There's a million reasons I hate eating them. But they taste good, and the convenient packaging means that when they're in the house, I eat those instead of cheaper, less healthy candy or cookies or, and I'm very guilty of this- skipping the snack.

    I have non-diabetic hypoglycemia. I can't keep skipping my snacks/meals because I'm distracted or don't want to bother with food. My doctor cannot be any clearer about the damage I'm doing to myself.

    I had to accept that yes, these have wasteful packaging. Yes, they cost more than other snacks. But I'm almost 40 and I've spent my entire life proving over and over again I can't just will myself to behave differently. I need to accept that this is a medical condition, not a failure, and give myself grace.

    There's about a million other things like this, but the vibe is, I will do my best. I will hold myself accountable when I fail. But I will no longer beat myself up for not being a person I've never been.

    Forgot to take my vitamins for a few days? Take them now, and move forward. You aren't to blame. They taste delicious and you want to take them, so failing to do so is obviously not your fault. (Setting an alarm to take them only works for a few days before I start dismissing the alarm without actually noticing it.)

    These are all things to work around. Not to hate myself for.

    I have been working as a caregiver, usually for adults with developmental and intellectual disabilities, for years. If I wouldn't be mad at a person with a disability diagnosis for displaying the symptoms that are out of their control, it's hypocritical of me to do that to myself.

    • That's a great way of doing things! The whole world was designed for neurotypical people, our way of doing things wasnt considered. People understand a wheelchair user saying they can't carry a heavy box upstairs, but they don't understand a neurodiverse person saying they do X because they're diverse. You're finding your way through a system that was designed for a different person.

16 comments