Hey Lemmy! Who ya voting for to be the new pope?

Bernie Sanders. Christianity spun out of a Jewish apocalyptic sect, so why not, in some very small part, bring it back toward its roots?

Donald Glover
- I don't know much about him, but he's always seemed super cool. I'm down with a cool pope.
  
  He didn't get to be Spider-Man when it was age-appropriate and people were buzzing about the idea. I feel like Pope is a good consolation prize.

Eckhart Tolle. I personally think he has a neurological disorder but he'd make life better.

Deadmau5.
The tapes of some of these Catholic hymns are getting kinda worn- let's get some fresh beats to liven things up. And a laser lightshow in St Peter's Basilica would help appeal to the "hip youths" ensuring a continued Catholic hegemony for the next century.

I think we should reelect Francis.
- No no no. You aren't allowed to elect dead popes, just prosecute them.
- We just gotta set up one of those WH40K Golden thrones for him!
  
  Guarantee they have something that's already halfway there tucked in a warehouse.

I hereby crown/appoint Rowan Atkinson as Pope Johnny.
May his Beanliness 🫘 last forever.
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Satan. I'm pretty sure he would greatly increase the morality and the accountability in the Catholic Church.
- If nothing else he would send all the pedo preists to hell.
  
  Accountability.

The pope goes by AD&D druid rules. The new pope is the guy who killed the previous pope.
So it's J D Vance.

Yeah Danny sounds good. Or Jack Black would pope the hell out of that Vatican, literally.

I'm thinkin' Father Guido Sarducci will come outta nowhere and sprint to the win.

Last one was on the liberal side. Expect a hardcore, gay hating conservative this time.
- I had read that Francis appointed 80% of the Cardinals who pick the new Pope. So it's possible that the new Pope will have similar views to Francis.

The pope elections always last long cause every man always votes for himself. Just like the pirate king of brethren court

Fuck off with that Danny devito crap. No one but Americans like that dude, and you've seen how utterly brain-dead America is.
- Damn I've never seen a Danny Devito hater. Welp I hope one day you are able to experience the joy of his Holiness Danny Devito the Pope.
  
  Love it that you dumb down other people's arguments to your level, and simplistically call anyone's stance "lover/hater" because your brain can't fucking comprehend anything beyond black and white.
  Sure proved you're American though.

Cue Musk with his lottery for votes.
- I'd vote for Elon Musk as Popeking of Catholicism.
  The same way Elon "improved" Twitter and the US Government, I would love it if he did the same for the Catholics.
  
  Elon can't be trusted with a literal sovereign nation, but I guess between The Vatican and US... What's he gonna do with it, harbor predators?

Trump! Make Trump the new Pope. That would be hilarious!
- Do you think that is why JD Nonce was in the Vatican? To force the Pope into announcing Trump as his successor?
  
  I heard he was there to kill him. Hence his death shortly after.
- That'll prove that the pope does shit in the woods.

Screw it, I'll be the pope if that means I can release the records on their pedo priest protection program.

Bill Burr would be pretty funny I think
- There's been some great ideas here, but I like yours the best.
  Bill Burr complaining about being forced to be the pope would be amazing.

I think Bill Maher should put his name in the hat. I know he's atheist, but he got on his knees for Trump, so maybe he's willing to give Jesus a fresh look.