How many languages can you say Please and Thank You in?

Please and thank you
S'il vous plait et merci
And in ASL but that dont translate to text too well.
- I just looked up please and thank you in ASL and now I know. Thank you.

Merican. Gods language and the best language. You know I speak better Merican that anyone ever did. The best. Everyone says it. One time I was talking to Elon. I call him fuck boy the cum dumpster. No one treats me like he does. But, he was telling me you speak the best Merican. No one can talk as good as you do. Everyone says it. Maybe I should write a book about how good my English is. It would be the most huge book ever.
/s
- That orange man has never said Please in his entire lifetime
- You speak such good Merican that I'm going to trust you with our nuclear codes

Zero. 🖕🏻
- Ah yes the Texas thank you 😝

i can say thank you in more languages than i can say please in.
perhaps that says something about me
Obligado
Dankeschön
Merci Beaucop
Thank you
Gracias
Domo Arigato (only in latin type, i have no chance of reading/spelling anything in Kanji)
- You've nailed my languages:
  Por favor (you'll see this later)
  Bitte (had to check the spelling, but I knew how to say it)
  S'il vous plait
  Pleeeeeeeeeease
  Por favor
  I dunno about Japanese.
  I can also say it in sign language.
  For reference, I am a 37 year old dude from Jersey. I took French in middle and high school (we got to go to Quebec in the eighth grade because someone thought that was a good idea). We have large spanish and Portuguese speaking populations, and my mom's stepmother was also from Cuba, so we got some lessons early on. My high school girlfriend did the German thing so I picked up a little (ich haba einen bruder). Wife speaks pretty fluent sign language. Can also say Kurwa, but that's neither please nor thank you.

Do programming languages count? :)
Here's Go:
go

package main import "fmt" func main() { fmt.Println("Please and Thank You") }
- Why is it that this got the most upvotes, compared to the more genuine comments in this thread? :)
- But how do you do it in Rust?
  
  Here's Rust:
  rust
  
  fn main() { println!("Please and Thank You"); }

I know some, I guess, hope I do not butcher them:
German(native): Bitte/ Danke (sehr) or Vielen Dank,
English: please/ thank you (very much),
Japanese: どうぞ or おねがいします or ください/ (どうも)ありがとう(ございます) (Which is douzo (when you offer someone something, I think, onegaishimasu/kudasai (if you want something or someone to do something, which is following the request.)/ (domo)arigatou(gozaimasu),
Norwegian: vær så snill / (tusen) takk,
(Which is like "Sei so gut/lieb"/ "Tausend Dank" in German.),
Romanian: vă rog or te rog (formal/informal)/ mulțumesc ((foarte) mult) or mersi (mult) (ă is a short a, I guess and ț is like the ts from "its", or a German z)
French: s'il vous plait (that one I had to look up on how to write)/ merci
Polish: proszę (bardzo)/ dzięki or dziękuję (bardzo) (Like proshe/ djenki/djenkuje)(ę is nasalized)
Portuguese: faz favor or por favor/ obrigado or obrigada (male/female) (o is spoken like an u) (I do not know much Portuguese (like French and Polish), in my book (European Portuguese faz favor and por favor are used, but I do not know the differences.)

English and Japanese (I don't speak much Japanese at all but I know these specific word!)

2 English and German

In the order I learned them:
🇷🇴 Romanian: Vă rog / Mulțumesc (native)
🇨🇵 French: S'il-vous-plaît / Merci
🇬🇧 English: Please / Thank you
🇪🇦 Spanish: Por favor / Gracias
🇯🇵 Japanese: Onegai / Arigato
🇨🇳 Mandarin: Qing / Xiè xie
🇮🇹 Italian: Per favore / Grazie
🇩🇪 German: Bitte / Danke
🇷🇺 Russian: Pozhalusta / Spasiba
- Thanks I knew spasiba but Pozhalusta I just learned.

Bissäguet, Merci (Swiss German)
Bitte, Danke (German)
Please, thank you (English)
S'il vous plait, merci (French)
Par favore, grazie (Italian)
Bonvolu, dankon (Esperanto)
Onegaishimasu, Arigatougozaimasu (Japanese)

Two languages. English and Maori.
Thank you in Maori is "kia ora" (key-ah or-ah, but mostly said more like k-your-ah). Literally translates to "be well", kia meaning be, ora meaning life/wellness.
Please in Maori is a bit less clear. There is the word "koa" (I don't know how to phonetically write it, but all the letters are pronounced the same as above), but that's a concept that came with pakeha (European settlers). Before that, it was more about the tone of the request.
Edit: actually I do know more, but English and Maori are the two main languages I know any of.

Languages I'm fluent:
Spanish (Por favor, Gracias)
Portuguese (Por favor, Obrigado/a)
English (Please, Thank you)
Languages I can mostly understand but I'm a disaster speaking:
Italian (Per favore, Grazie)
Catalan (Si us plau, Merci (Technically Gracies, but most people use Merci))
Languages I can speak small child like phrases and express some simple things (although I'm very rusty in both of them):
Russian (пожалуйста (Pajalsta), спасибо (Spaciba))
German (Bitte, Danke)
Languages I can say "I'm sorry, I don't speak X, do you speak English?" (Which I think is more important than just please and thank you)
French (Si vous plat, Merci)
Dutch ( [don't know this one], dank je)
Finnish ( * , Kiitos)
Languages I can say Please and thank you (because I've seen enough TV in this language):
Japanese (Onegai, Arigato)
There's no word for please in Finnish, which you'd think makes the language sound harsh, but I think it's the other way around, it makes everyone be polite by default, when going into a coffee shop and saying "one coffee" is the equivalent to "hello, can I please have one coffee, thanks" it's hard to be rude.
- Can you expand on the Finnish? Is it engrained in the language somehow?
  
  I don't really speak Finnish, so probably someone can expand better, but AFAIK they don't have a word for Please. When I was in Finland I went to a coffee place with a friend, and noticed he said "yksi kahvi" which literally means one coffee, when he got his coffee he said "Kiitos" (thanks), I noticed no one used any recurring word that could mean Please, so I asked my friend and he said something like "They're all being polite, we just don't have a word for please, one could say something like: I would like a coffee, Thanks. But that's just overcomplicated"
- Gracies -> Mallorca
  Mercés -> Cataluña
  Mercí -> ¿cerca de la frontera con Francia?
  
  The place I hear Merci daily is Barcelona

I can only speak three but I really used to try to learn some others but suck at it. I praise people who can learn grammatically challenging languages
- I’ve found that most people really appreciate even just the attempt at their own language. The fact that you’re trying goes a long way with most people.
  Excepting Americans and sometimes the French. /s
  
  I fully agree! Paraphrasing the Nelson Mandela quote that got me into college and grad school “if you speak to a man in a language he understands it goes to his head, but if you speak to a man in his language it goes to his heart.”
  Idk I feel my partners English is received well by Americans but yes French and Parisians are something else

Please and thank you
Te rog si multumesc
Bitte und danke
I dont know how to explain how to say a word to someone if they dont speak romanian
- Thanks Romanian sounds quite challenging
  
  Speaking romanian is the easiest part of the language. I have heard from people trying to learn the language that the grammar is hard

Only English. The words are entirely different in the other languages I know.
- You know don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Just trying fucking it up is still heaps better then not even trying.

"Please" and "thank you". English.
(Pleez ahnd thank yehw)
"Oes gwelwch chi'n dda" ac "diolch". Welsh/Cymraeg.
(Oys gwel ook kheen thza ak deeolkh)
"Por favor" y "gracías". Spanish/español.
(Pour fah vour ee gras ee AHS)
- Real languages only, please!
  /s
  
  thought i missed the klingon..
  went back..
  ohhhhhhhhh..
- Welsh is amazing I never knew them but I love how “Welshman” they sound.

Swedish, German, English, Spanish,

Estonian: Palun / Aitäh
English: Please / Thank you

For me: English, Irish, french, German, Indonesian, Malaysian (same as Indonesian), japanese I've thank you in Turkish, Thai,
For Irish Please is: le do thoil (é). Translates as; by your will (it). Pronounce : le duh hull ay.
For thank you: Go raibh (míle) maith agat. Translates as may (a thousand) good things be/fall upon you. Pronounce : guh rev mee-la moh a-gut
For pronunciation, I'm using Munster dialect. It can be quite different for other dialects.
Other languages seem to be covered by others, so I thought I'd add the Irish in more detail.

German Bitte, Danke
English U KNOW
French S'il vous plâit, merci
Spanish Por favor, graçias
Italian Per favore, grazie
Czech Prossim, djekuju
...6 ig :D

Define language… Norwegian, Swedish, Danish, English, French, German, BHS (Bosnian Croatian, Serbian), Esperanto, Czech, Russian, Dutch, Italian, Portuguese, Spanish… i think that’s it.
- But what about cobol and C++? /s
- Pretty cool that you can say "please" in Danish since the word doesn't exist in the language.
  
  Vær så venlig?

In order of fluency (for languages spoken, although German was only studied and any fluency has rusted out):
Portuguese: Por Favor/Obrigado
English: Please/Thank you
Spanish: Por Favor/Gracias
Farsi: Lotfan/Merci (plus many more elaborate ways of thanking)
German: Bitte/Danke
For languages I don't speak at all, but only know because of friends who are native speakers:
French: s'il vous plait/merci
Romanian: Va rog/multumesc
Italian: Per favore/Grazie
- Oh I like the Romanian please. That sound fun to say.
  
  Yeah, Romanian is so weird to me as a native Portuguese speaker - there are so many cognates. I am good friends with a Romanian family and when they talk all sorts of words are completely understandable coming from Portuguese....

So, this is an odd one because I travel a lot and try to learn basic words in local languages, usually hello, please, thank you, sorry/excuse me, and numbers are my basic go to. For some reason, in a number of languages "please" isn't something you get by default. I've found this particularly in southeast Asia.
I can say please and thank you (and generally converse and read) in French and Spanish. In Spanish I find myself using "por favor" a lot. "You're welcome" takes different forms in Spanish depending where your are, and what's polite in one place can be confusing or even rude in another.
I can say hello, please, and thank you in German, Italian, and Greek. I mostly said hello and thank you in Greece and Italy, rarely please. I've never actually used German in situ, I just know it from pop culture I think.
I can say hello and thank you (and various other things) in Japanese, Chinese (Mandarin), Malay, Thai, Lao, Khmer, and Vietnamese. I might need to think hard for a minute or get a quick refresher so that I don't mix some of them up sometimes, especially when I'm moving from one country to the next... I don't think I ever learned please specifically in any of these, though I think it's kind of built into the other things you say in a lot of them (especially Thai).
So, please and thank you, 6 for sure. But if the goal is to talk about language basics for getting around as a visitor, I would say 13 :)
- That fascinating. I wonder if it’s a cultural thing or a grammar thing? Most Asian countries have a stereotype of being polite so I’d take a guess at the grammar of Asian languages making it harder to put a mood changing word in a question maybe,
  
  Yeah I definitely don't know enough to say. You can definitely translate please in translators for those languages, but for whatever reason I just haven't been seeing it in language basics. Once I spend more time there I'll learn more.
  For Thai specifically, you say "ka" (if you're a woman) or "kraub"/"kaub"/"kaup" (if you're a man) at the end of everything you say. Whenever you finish a sentence you say it. I saw a woman relating a phone number, and she would say "ka" after every number. It's all about politeness.

Interesting, I seem to know "thank you" in a few languages, but not "please". I wonder what that indicates...
Spanish: por favor, gracias
French: sil vous plait, merci
Indonesian: ?, terima kasih
Mandarin: ?, xie xie
Japanese: ?, arigato
German: ?, danke
Italian: ?, grazie
Aussie: oi, cheers/ta (/s)
- Ah yes the classic Aussie Thank you - Ta, ya cunt!

Hmm.
German, French, English, Japanese (seriously, I never realized how much language I took away from martial arts classes! And in my post about counting, a significant percent of other people did, too), Spanish, Esperanto. I think that's it - 6.
I can say "blindingly drunk" in Russian, which seems useful. Also, "trust, but verify," - thanks, Raegan. Two phrases, neither of which are "please or thank you," but matching the cardinality of your question so I should get a half-point.

Three. English, Spanish, and German.
- Which is your favourite?
  
  They're all pretty nice, thanks/danke/gracias.

Off the top or my head: English, Spanish, German, Russian (assuming I remember from 35 years ago). On a good day I can remember Thai, but not today.
Spanish and German are well documented here.
So I dated a girl who took Russian in high school. I learned the alphabet. Sometimes I think I can still recite it, other times I stumble.
Phonetically (and likely butchered): speSEEba / paZHAlista

English : Please, thank you
French: S'il te plait, merci
Spanish: Por favor, gracias
Japanese: お願い、ありがとう(oh neh gah i, arigatoo)

Mostly thanks because that's the only word I learned when I'm visiting.
obrigado, obrigada - Portuguese Bitte/Danke - Deutsch dack - Dutch Gratzi - Italian Por favor/Gracias - Spanish Takk - norge Merci - French 不好意思。/ 謝謝 - Chinese ありがとう - Japanese Oi cunt / thank ye cunt
- dack - Dutch
  Dutch is alsjeblieft (informal), alstublieft (formal), thanks (informal), dankjewel (informal), or dankuwel (formal). The former probably means "as you desired" in old Dutch, the latter "thank you well", and the formal/informal variants simply insert the right word for "you" (je or u). And then there's thanks being commonly used. Or also bedankt, sounds kinda formal to me as well, not sure when you'd use that instead of dankuwel
  Just "dank" (maybe you wrote that and autocorrupt kicked in?) is not really a thing we say, it just means "thank" which you'd also not say by itself in English (unless you're Rocky)
  Edit: writing "dank" in an English sentence feels like everyone will think our thank-yous are like dank memes. The pronunciation of the "a" there is as in Clark; the English pronunciation of dank would map to denk in Dutch and means think!

English, Spanish, Japanese.
Please, and thank you.
Por favor y gracias. (Pour fah-vore ee grassy ahs)
Kudasai, arigato. (Or if you wanna be extra polite: onegaishimasu, arigato gozaimasu) (Ku-dah sigh, are-ee gato/own ee guy mosh, are-ee gato go sigh moss)
I know "please" in German, but not thank you. Bitte.
- Danke dahnk uh

Please & cheers.
S'il vois plait & merci (beaucoup)
Terog & multzumesc/multzumeme (singular vs. plural thank you)
Bitter & danke
-- & spaseba
-- & tak
Qîng & xìexìe
-- & diàhdiah
Had more, but forgot them. Have forgotten at the Turkish and a Miao language phrases.

English: Please : Thank you
French: Aujourd'hui : Merci
Spanish: Por Favor : Gracias
German: Regenbogen : Danke
Swedish: tillhör alla : tack
EDIT: This was just a small play at poetry as I wish I knew all of these languages but do not
- Swede here. “Tillhör alla” means ”belongs to everyone”. There isn’t a precise word for “please” in Swedish, we say thanks instead. Or sometimes we use the phrase “could you be so kind to…”. I struggle to say please in English and I probably sound harsh and bad-mannered.
- Aujourd'hui means today. You're looking for: s'il vous/te plait.
  In German, bitte is please (and part of you're welcome) but regenbogen means 🌈, so youre still spreading happiness.
  I remember I once told a German person 'ich besuche dich diese wochenende.' I'll visit you this weekend. I meant to wish them a nice weekend. They were quite surprised as we met in a professional work setting, not social, lol.

Please (English)
kiitos (Finnish)
chōdai / kudasai (Japanese)
s’il vous plaît (French)
por favor (Spanish)
bitte (German)
Thank you (English)
kiitos (Finnish)
arigatō (gozaimas) / dōmo (Japanese)
gracias (Spanish)
merci (French)
grazie (Italian)
kamsahamnida (Korean)
xiexie (Chinese)
tänan (Estonian)
danke (German)
spasiba (Russian)
tack (Svedish)
- I love the fact that Finnish doesn't have a way of saying please, so you just thank the person instead. The first time I was in Finland I learned to say "excuse me, I don't speak Finnish, do you speak English?", and because that was the only thing I learned I wanted to learn to pronounce it correctly, so I took the time and effort to learn how to pronounce it. The problem when I do this, is that most people don't learn basic niceties, and even the ones that do tent to mangle pronunciation, so native people think I'm kidding because it sounds like some native saying they don't speak the language. Also because the majority of interactions with people are simple "hello", "thanks", "bye" I like to pick up on those by listening to people, but not by studying it or anything.
  All of that setup for this stupid story: One day I go to a supermarket and the lady tells me "Moi" (hi) and with the same cheerful tone of voice I've seen people use I replied with "Moi Moi" (bye bye). I had seen people use both Moi and Moi Moi, but hadn't noticed that one was hi and the other was bye, so I was accidentally cheerfully rude, and I still feel bad about it. If you're out there, I'm so sorry supermarket lady in Helsinki, I'm just a dumb tourist trying to be nice.
  
  I'm Finnish and I've had so many similar "awkward" situations. I often use "tänks" (or thanks) and a few time the cashier thought I'm speaking English :D

6

I am unsure how to best do the pronouncing, but en Español: por favor (last part of favor is more pronounced) gracias (first part is more pronounced) In English: please thank you (pronounce more the part that makes sense for the situation)
What about you :)
- I’m rusty in a bunch. My favourites are the Scandinavian languages just because how the people lit up whenever you tried. It was like “Bless your heart, you poor English speaker.” Like they were watching a puppy.