Rules lawyer

こんな判断？

We started with a "zero paw rule" for tables. Our cat, ever the rascal, started to sit on our laps with his front paws on the table propping himself up. It was so cute we had to change it to "two paw rule". That, of course, turned out to be a legal slippery slope.
- It always is when cats are involved
  
  I like to think he just wasn't smart enough for granularity, but he probably had us all fooled.

You can't teach a cat to stay off anything they want to be on, you can only train them to not do it when you're looking, and/or jump away when you catch them at it. Or you can change something about it to make them dislike it, because with cats it's always "what's in it for me?" I love cats, when they choose to be friends with you it's a real choice, not just a pack instinct.
- because with cats it’s always “what’s in it for me?”
  My guess is that it's a resource-sharing thing.
  To a cat, it makes sense that you shoo the cat off the table. Clearly you may want to use the table if you are there, so the cat should make way when you are around.
  To a cat, it makes NO sense that you want the cat to NEVER use the table. If you're not using it right now, why shouldn't the cat use it?
  So, I think:
  A human believes that because they obtained an item, they have a right to forbid a cat from ever using it.
  But a cat believes that they have the right to use any item in the house that is not currently being used by the human.
  I gotta say, it' s not obvious that the human is right...
  
  A cat doesn’t know that it’s paws are probably not the cleanest things to put on the table where people eat.
  
  I agree with all your points except that a cat who sees you actually using the table will want to join in! For the attention mostly, but also to do stuff with you.
- I accept my cats love me because I give them things they like.
  I get to nap with a kitten, and the kitten gets a human water bottle.
  
  Although they are independent-minded and capable of living alone, I firmly believe cats appreciate and reciprocate affection. Feral cats often live in groups, and even nurse each other's kittens. You're not just thumbs to your kitty, although I'm never sure which of us is the pet.