Nearly half of Americans would be totally unwilling to date someone with opposing views on transgender rights
Nearly half of Americans would be totally unwilling to date someone with opposing views on transgender rights | YouGov
I went on a first date with someone extremely attractive. Put "moderate" on her profile, didn't seem too bad. With no prompting from me whatsoever she brings up trans people and asks what I think. I say something along the lines of well I get it because as a guy if someone said I was biologically a girl I'd still be a guy inside. She said she wants kids and if the kids are trans she'd beat it out of them.
I mean she was hot enough that I had the thought that maybe I could change her. But I had to say no to a second date because there's no way I could date someone who one date in is already negotiating how she's going to beat my future kids for being themselves.
I hope you told her why?
parents beating kids is a major red flag. means that they have some pretty unsavory beliefs like believing children are property in addition to being okay with violence. also means they don't have appropriate conflict resolution and communication skills.
you dodged a bullet, they are some of the worst people humanity has to offer, hands down. coming from someone who had one of those parents. my sibling was beaten for questioning their sexuality.
And I'm one of them. There's absolutely no way I would or even could ever date some loathsome piece of shit who opposes trans rights, supports Trump, defends the Capitol attack, opposes DEI, wants abortion banned or wants gender roles legislated.
If anything, I'm disappointed that there aren't more of us.
Right?
I can't imagine the kind of person that cares so little.
I can. I think they are my family. I just don't hear their voices ever. Nevermind Trump support for a second, most of them do not support him. But, all I ever get is silence. I open my mouth, finally there's pushback. Not necessarily that they are bigots, but they are more interested in order than justice, is my take. I can't figure it out otherwise. Not without help.
Yeah I mean how could you date, much less marry someone whose values are so out of whack with yours??
Glad I never had that problem. It's like, just date cool people??
Some people are good at hiding their crazy. Luckily, MAGA types are generally pretty loud about their bigotry and never shut the hell up, so it's easier to weed them out.
Yeah I mean how could you date, much less marry someone whose values are so out of whack with yours??
Because they lie.
A lot of straight conservative men know that many women do not want to date conservative men. They will not present themselves as conservative men, and instead will list themselves perhaps as “moderates” or “centrists” or otherwise “hide their power level.” This is true for conservative gay men as well, to a lesser extent.
People can be very good at hiding who they really are until the night after you get married. It’s terrifying.
I find it hard to even work with those types of ppl, let alone date one.
I have two brothers who are variations on the theme.
I'm the oldest and middle brother is a longtime conspiracy theorist who's on the anti-vaxx, deep state fringe (and at least pleasantly is notably not a bigot) and youngest is an IT guy and a stock,,-standard tech "libertarian" who rages about wokeism and free speech and idolizes Musk and is about every kind of bigot imaginable.
So I spend holidays mostly hiding in the study, surfing the web and trying to ignore the bits of mansplained propaganda wafting down the hall...
Seriously, being a bigot is a deal breaker.
Out of all those, I would be most open minded to someone who opposes DEI, since DEI is one particular strategy for combatting inequality and they might support another instead. I can't steelman any of those other qualities though.
Opposing DEI is like opposing Gay Pride. There are many nefarious corporate influences weaponizing gay pride to the detriment of many lgbtq+ people and it makes sense for many of the parades to be boycotted on this basis. Many DEI programs can whitewash and excuse a lot of rascism induced issues people could face while providing a legal defense for the company to continue their racist practices. At the same time, I'm for gay pride and diversity, equity, and inclusion and would assume anyone who couldn't explain their opposition to these concepts to be a bigot.
I would be open minded if only their opposition stemmed from misunderstanding what it was.
If I were to explain it, or point them in the direction of someone/something that explains it, and they're still opposed? Yeah, that's a deal-breaker.
I actually paused over that one myself, but while it is technically possible that someone could oppose DEI with the best of intentions, with the sincere belief that it's an ineffective or even counter-productive strategy, I just think it's orders of magnitude more likely that they oppose it because they're racist filth.
But yeah - that's one that I'd likely want to follow up on before a final decision.
It makes sense, how can one feel safe around a person who hates and sees other human beings as less than human? It's almost impossible to feel safe around a person like that.
honestly I can't tell whether a plurality of men think women are humans, let alone trans women ...
EDIT:
Lesbian, gay and bisexual women overwhelmingly identify with or lean toward the Democratic Party over the GOP (83% vs. 12%). Similarly, the Democratic Party enjoys a wide advantage among gay and bisexual men (83% vs. 17%).
Straight men are more likely to associate with the Republican Party than straight women (55% vs. 47%).
(source)
Men generally, but straight (and married esp.) men, seem to be "the problem".
Or, "the problem" is an uneducated electorate: https://www.insidehighered.com/news/government/politics-elections/2024/11/08/men-and-white-people-vote-differently-based-education
Whether this is due to "book smarts" or just a statement that going to college means you meet different people and generally expands your worldview, it seems to make a difference (men still more problematic than women, but less so when educated!).
Opposition to any cohort's rights is a pretty clearcut indicator of very poor character.
For sure, but the people who feel the opposite in regards to trans people are so weird about it that it's hard to imagine any of them being OK with dating a potential mate that would affirm a hypothetical trans kid.
I think that the point is not strictly about gender and transgender rights strictly. It is about the having the freedom to represent yourself as you wish in social situations, versus the right to... I'm... something about not having to see something you don't understand... no, it's to not have to challenge your definition of the world even if other people doagree with it. Hmm lemme think about it again.
Yeah but you gotta look at both sides of the argument.
(/s)
I see it as basically it comes down to common morals, character traits whatever.If someone you're interested in wants to do the opposite of your preference in the way of rights for a specific set of people that's probably not due to the specific group as it's more a not seeing eye to eye on on rights issues and there would be more to come in that relationship.
I'm straight but if I met a girl (passed that time forever hopefully) and she didn't want to give people the same rights as themselves, well yeah not going to be interested anymore. I don't even need a qualifier on people, we're all humans and deserve the same rights to love who we want and be the person we are (as long as it doesn't infringe on others besides their 'decency')
I don't know that they want to deny others a right that they want to allow themselves. I think they want to deny others a right that they want to deny everyone, even themselves.
and...... Water is wet...
Do you think people who supported Civil rights in the 60s and 70s were off marrying people who opposed civil rights?
Cross politics marriages were more common in the past.
A lot of women married to get away from their parents and became homemakers. If husband was conservative but not abusive you might keep quiet about what you do in the voting booth for the sake of peace peace at home.
Liberal men might not ask about their fiances politics. If she is hot and willing a lot of young men.
I'm not saying it was ever healthy, but it was more common.
People are people. Treat them with decency and respect. ALL people. Not sure why that has to be considered a political view. I thought it was just being a good person.
It's framed as if this is a shocking thing. Someone who opposes trans rights is almost certainly going to be a right winger in general, so you would have a completely different worldview anyway.
For me the more interesting question would be "would you date someone who had exactly the same beliefs as you except on one single crucial issue?"
I kind of want to meet the person who agrees with me on all beliefs except trans rights. Like, how did they come to that conclusion when so many other things they support rely on having some basic empathy for people.
There are maybe some TERFs who take the radical feminism angle seriously. The idea is that they think trans people are transitioning because they identify more with stereotypes associated with the opposite sex.
In isolation, I think it would possible to come to the conclusion that trans men are “women trying to escape the patriarchy” and that trans women are “men unable to deal with internalized homophobia.” That a better solution would be to eliminate gender roles altogether.
This only really works if you never talk to trans people, and unfortunately it doesn’t seem that people who hold this view are often capable of changing their mind when presented with contradictory evidence.
Why would I ever want to be around someone who hates simply for the sake of hating?
Well duh, no bigots or fascists. Huge red flag about their whole personality.
Thank God I'm married, not touching a bigot with 100 million meter pole.
yeah, that's much to unwieldy to get a good swing in. 3 feet is about perfect for me, and I can pretend it's a cane for plausible deniability.
Because people who oppose trans rights (or the rights of anyone for that matter) are fundamentally going to be pricks. This statistic is not solely about trans rights. Smart people with any sense of self preservation just don't want to date bigots and assholes.
Some people aren't malicious but just really dumb and careless and get their politics from passive cultural osmosis. Sometimes they even respond well to reeducation efforts
...did they expect people who care about human rights to be interested in romantic connections with Nazis?
looks at results
Oh. What the fuck? Why are those numbers so low?
Don't bang bigots. Simple as.
To police something so personal as gender expression is anti-American. Obviously if you care so much about people's private lives as to make it a part of your personality, you would have to be a huge piece of shit.
I rather think that's why they're made the outgroup du jour, people were too accepting of and familiar with LBG people, so they said let's narrow WAAAAAAY down to the Trans people and divide and conquer the marginalized groups
Yeah, if someone is against trans rights then they deserve no love
Yes, I could not be with a hater, that is an immediate no go.
I would not be friends even with someone who could not learn. Ignorance that is teachable is manageable as a friend, but not someone who has decided to be wrong.
Huh, who would have guessed?
I’m not interested in dating someone who doesn’t think self determination is a fundamental human right.
"About half of people would be unwilling to engage in relationships with people they don't share the same viewpoint on relationships as they do." This and more breaking news at 11.
I'm not entirely comfortable around all trans people, some of them are pricks (as they were before transitioning).
I'm sure as fuck not comfortable around people who would not want equal rights for every minority, migrant, or consensual people(s) doing consented activities. Everyone deserves the rights that we agreed to have as a culture, even the pricks, I won't stand with anyone who has theirs and tries to take away others.
Judge people for what they do, not what they are.
Couldn't agree more, can't keep myself brief.