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  • I'm one of those weirdos who prefers the self-checkout but they're just not fucking practical when you got a cart full of stuff. These morons keep trying to implement a business plan that is one part having their cake and one part eating it to make the line go up for the quarter and it does not fucking work.

    • This is the biggest failure by far of self checkouts. PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA PLEASE RING UP EVERYTHING THE BAGGING AREA PLEASE WAIT WHILE I LOCK THE SCREEN AND SCANNER WHILE SOMEONE COMES OVER AND MAKES SURE YOU AREN'T TRYING TO STEAL REPEAT FOREVER BECAUSE YOUR CART IS FULL OF 2 WEEKS OF GROCERIES FOR A FAMILY

      It's extra funny in my location too because a tax on plastic bags means most people bring their own bags, but if you put your own bag in the bagging area it yells at you because it thinks you're trying to steal and won't let you do anything. So mostly people just pile everything unceremoniously in a giant grocery heap in the "bagging" area and then spend another 5 minutes reloading their cart and bagging everything.

      Self checkouts are great when you have a couple of small things but they're absolutely the peak of inefficient bullshit for any regular sized grocery shop. They're one of the reasons why grocery shopping for me went from "a task I enjoy" to "a task I talk about in therapy". They have become anxiety zones.

      • PLEASE WAIT WHILE I LOCK THE SCREEN AND SCANNER WHILE SOMEONE COMES OVER AND MAKES SURE YOU AREN'T TRYING TO STEAL

        Funny enough, this generates so many false positives that none of the workers I've seen even bother to check anymore. It's just "Oh, the screen locked up again, I'd better get that"

      • And the thing is they're just fine if you're at one of the rare stores where it's not clearly geared to assume every customer is stealing every product, but then you go buying something in an area that's lower income and suddenly it takes 20 minutes to buy 3 things because the system is too busy screaming at you to drink the verification can to let you scan anything.

      • The only store I've been to without a fussy self-checkout is a pretty large euro-style grocery chain in North America. Their attendants are usually also attending to a standard check-out, so they don't even walk over. If you click the help button, they'll just void the last item you scanned lol.

  • self-checkouts are wonderful bc anything that's more than $10 is fucking free

    i will never stop stealing

    • Damn straight

      Wal Mart near me has no pressure plate/"Please move item to bagging area", and a Home Depot nearby doesn't even have those RFID security gates lmao

      • Wal Mart near me has no pressure plate
        yup, same. well, actually one of them does, and it's sensitive as a motherfucker. you'll never guess what most of the people who shop there look like...

        it feels gross but that's why i near-exclusively stick to the stores in crackertown. "security" is usually just someone's grandma waving hello and goodbye. just gotta be careful that the prices aren't inflated to match the egos of the clientele or else you'll end up spending more than you save. deeply envious of your HD btw, all the hardware stores here are locked down hard and it suuucks.

    • self-checkouts are wonderful bc anything that's more than $10 is fucking free

      what do you mean?

      • ah let me be clear: when shit is expensive, i steal it. not actually everything, of course, i'm not completely bereft of sense

        but yeah if you're careful and calm (and tbh white) and you make sure not to shop in impoverished neighborhoods (they have more security) you can get away with murder. i routinely steal about 60% of my groceries. my actual threshold/selection process is a little bit more nuanced but i don't wanna get too deep into details

        i do highly recommend it though, just pass shit over the scanner with a fingertip on the barcode. easy peasy, grocery bill goes down.

      • could mean several things, like big items too large for a bag, or things you can hide on the bottom rack of your cart. There's a lot of simple ways to steal things.

  • If I would work at a self checkout (not denying nor conforming) I would let people steal. Just looking away when the do, making sure I have plausible deniability. I won't give a fuck, steal whatever you want.

  • If they won't train or keep employees, well I'm not trained either. If it doesn't scan the first try, it doesn't scan :if-he-dies-he-dies:

  • It seems many stores still need real people to help customers with their purchases

    Don't worry, retailers don't view human cashiers as real people either

  • A lot of these machines struggle to process food-stamps. Quite the oversight considering what these places tend to pay their workers.

  • A supermarket nearby implemented anti-theft devices. First step was putting a bunch of pharmacy-type material behind locked displays so you had to call someone.

    Then they added self-checkout. First a couple, then 5, 6, and 10. It needed two full-time attendants to get the line moving and help people with bad scans, missing barcodes, or telling them they have to go stand in a regular line if they want to buy alcohol.

    A while later, an automated gate showed up. It had plastic saloon doors with LEDs and a claxon. Looked pretty complicated (and expensive). All self-checkout customers had to scan their receipt (after already scanning their own groceries) to open it. Many didn't know what it was about and just grumbled and pushed through the damn gate as the red lights flashed and the claxon blared. They needed another employee running after people who had pushed through the gate and explain they had to go back and scan their receipts. Many who were already on their way to their cars just ignored the attendant. Others used choice language.

    A month later, the gate mechanism was still there but the saloon doors had been removed. They just sat there. Waiting for when they get rid of the whole self-checkout and go back to what worked just fine.

65 comments