The Swastidumpster is the Most Reliable Car Ever Made.

21 miles and screen absolutely covered in dust. These things must be sitting for ages and not selling. Not even a wipe down from the Tesla store.

Oops, did they accidentally do the remote self-destruction on a vehicle that was already sold?

Oh well, it sucks to be you, a Muskrat dick-sucker.

That screen is awfully dusty for a car you bought 10 minutes ago
- Well, it still does have a protective foil on it and very few finger traces in the dust.
  
  Still, the bottom corner of the film is peeling. Could have been sitting on a lot for a long time, but peeling like that after only a few test drives at most?
  Edit: I ended up digging into his Twitter page and everything is legit. And I'm baffled.
  Selfie:
  
  SMS conversation with Tesla support (LOL):
  
  Dropping it off:
  
  I'd expect the dealership to give it a quick detail before letting the customer drive away, even used car dealerships do that. But I guess when we're talking about Tesla all bets are off.

Cabin climate control system requires service.
Am I reading that right? Do you need a connection to an external service to turn on the air conditioning?
- I would definitely interpret that as in "needs to be serviced at a garage/dealer."
  
  Ah yes, that does make more sense, I'm a computer nerd so interpreted the wrong way. Still something's clearly gone horribly wrong here.

I love that people think @elonmusk is a valid technical support approach

I know it’s fun to hate on the CyberTruck (absolutely has deserved it), but I’d bet money on this being a 12v battery issue, maybe from improper storage? Only reason I say this is that I have a Kia Soul EV and it gave me pretty much the exact same warning the other day and refused to start. Turned out the 12v battery was dead and that causes all kinds of weird stuff to happen to the electrical systems in the car. Especially considering that the entire electrical system of the CT is consolidated into one wiring harness.
Also, knowing Tesla, attempting to jump the 12v would probably void a warranty.

You just need to seig heil harder, bro

It is definitely a computer. Things just stop working for no obvious reason sometimes.
- Have you tried turning it off and on again?
  
  Literally says on the screen "Exiting and Reentering vehicle might restore operation." I hate the future.

Lmao, imagine a car not working because of a software bug. That's just pathetic.
- That's... Basically every car made in the last 15 years?
  
  The worst bug I had on my car had the onboard computer not starting, and the screen remaining black. It meant I had: no GPS, no music, no backup camera, and no parking sensor.
  But apart from that, the car was driving perfectly normal, and all the other features were working as expected.
  
  My 2017 mini hasn't had anything, even resembling that?
  
  My car is built in 2023 (2016 model) and has none of those "features". The most high tech thing is a USB port.
  
  Yes and?

He...he can't help you. He's the nepo baby of people who owned blood mines. He doesn't actually know anything useful. Or care about you.
- Mentioning this on Twitter might bring it to his attention and since this is bad PR, he might expedite the complaint so that it gets fixed sooner. That's probably the thinking here. I've seen it happen with companies before

Swastidumpster doesn't really flow. We need alternatives for the cyberclunk. Anyone got suggestions?
- Hakenkruiser
- 'Deplorean' is my personal fav followed by 'Wankpanzer'
- I think SwastiCar works really well
  
  Yeah, but that applies to the brand as a whole.
- Heil Hauler
- Some people use WankPanzer.
  
  Based on Grimes' tweet maybe the pegwagon?
- Incel camino
  
  IncEl Camino
  glorious
  
  Oh I like this one.
- SyberSuck
  Or SS for short
- Cybersuck?
  
  Sorry, I meant names that acknowledge Elon's nazi adoration, like swasticar.
- "Let them drive cake" because the thing looks like a bad slice of cake and we all know where things are headed.
  
  Bonus double-entendre that what they're driving is ass.
- SwastiCuck

Put it in H!
- It’s running low on crab juice.
- 14 hectares on a single tank of kerosene

RIP bozo (the car)
- I mean the guy too, the first logo on his stupidly pretentious website on where he's been "featured" is fox news. Glad to see his car shut down on him straight off the lot
  
  But they're not resting in peace. They seem angry.

Yeah no this is sus. How is that screen so dusty when its a new car. I mean fuck tesla, their cars suck ass, but this doesnt make sense.
- Honestly I was with you, it was weird.
  I did some digging and found the tweet, he's a kool aid drinking tech bro and backed up his claim with a selfie and screenshots from speaking with their support center.
  Can chalk this one up to actually terrible products.
- If you look closely at the second image, it looks like it still has the peelies on it. Those things are dust magnets.
  
  Those peelings are worn to shit. This truck did not come from the factory exactly
- https://www.theautopian.com/cybertrucks-are-piling-up-as-tesla-struggles-to-move-thousands-of-expensive-trucks/
- They aren't being cleaned? You think basic maintenance is happening on those trashcans?
- As with most electronics, the most likely times for failure are shortly after manufacture and years later after use. Failures in the middle are generally rare, hence the warranty.
  There are components where quality testing can only give a pass/fail so there's no way to know that it barely passed until it fails shortly after.
  This isn't unique to Tesla, or even EVs. This happens with nearly all electronics. Many things can be tested more thoroughly and have lower quality limits set above what's actually required, but some stuff just can't be tested like that ahead of time.
  And there's always just real life. They could have driven it home and parked near to a packrat who decided that a wiring harness looked like a good snack overnight. The car can't tell that a rat ate the wiring, it will just give generic errors for whatever isn't working right. Is that likely? No, but it is possible, and not something we would be able to tell from screenshots of the generic error screen telling the driver to schedule service.
  
  This happens with nearly all electronics.
  This happens to nearly all complex systems. It's called the Bathtub Curve: infant mortality at the beginning of an item's life, and after a relatively problem-free interval, a steady increase in problems that accelerates once it's past its planned-obsolescence point.
- The first image says the frunk is open. I’d imagine that would trigger a pull the fuck over message
  
  "Frunk is open. Pull the truck over and shut the trucking frunk"
  
  It's a button to open the frunk, not a message saying that it's open. There's another one for the trunk on the right