If I don't have my lunch my sugar crashes and I get sleepy

Starts at 9am? Fuck off early risers.
- If I had the infinity stones, I would make it so that anyone that does anything "productive" (work,school etc) before 12pm poofs away into dust.
  Let the morning people feel the pain of having to be awake and productive in your least productive hours for a change. God damn morning people shakes fist
- No festival needs to go on longer than 7 hours, what are we, teenagers?

The music shouldn't be too loud either.
- Eh, just provide reusable earplugs to the crowd for a reasonable price. It won’t be as good as a custom molded pair of earplugs, but I’m sure a company like Eargasm would love to partner with a festival to sell from a merch booth. The thump of the beat is a large part of the concert experience, and reducing the volume would erode that.
  I’m an audio technician, and I use earplugs at every concert I work. I get my mix dialed in, pop my earplugs in, and then I just pull them out occasionally to double-check that my mix still sounds alright. But to be clear, the vast majority of my mixing happens with earplugs. The days of rawdogging concerts is far past; even the talent uses in-ear monitors now.
  There’s a reason all of the old rock stars are fucking deaf. Decades of stage monitors and guitar amps dialed up to 11, just to beat out the crowd noise. And the newer musicians have realized that they can get a much more accurate mix and protect their hearing, by essentially combining earplugs with monitors.
  
  Just as a person who would like to go to concerts, please for the love of good, realise that there is more to audio than just cranking bass to 11 and doing fuck all with the rest of the spectrum. Thump is part of the concert not THE whole concert.
  
  Every concert I’ve been to here in Switzerland has provided them free of charge. Always use them
- I use earplugs these days. Lifesaver and I wish I did this all throughout my 20s. I took my earplugs out at the last event that I went to momentarily and I was shocked and how loud it sounded.

I was a pile of folk festivals that ran exactly like this.

We need a new meme category for things like this -- Funny harmless memes you can't share with the gf

The music festival starts when there’s enough people awake to run the sound gear.
It goes until they fall asleep.
It repeats until no one is available to work.
The human concept of time is forgotten.

Dangerously close to describing a folk music festival

They had me at coffee. A music festival that's just chill, low energy, sipping espresso or tea or hot cocoa, and listening to nice music all day. Why are there no vibe concerts, is that a contradiction?
- Jazz! Of course
- It's in Germany, but check out https://herzberg-festival.com/en/information/. Pretty much fits your description.
- In Germany there are Dub Techno concerts, which are kinda like this. But they're usually late at night/early in the morning (more often the latter) and people are usually high on drugs. The music is great though! Check out Basic Channel
  
  So like an after hours? In my experience those places are full of people who are way too high. The best of the best.

2 pm nap time, with couches and recliners.
- You would love the south of Italy
  
  Where I live is good. I'm an old man. I nap every day.
- I want a shady hammock grove.

That sounds more like a concert in the early 2000s than a music festival

Also the bands ask if everyone wants to hear another song or we good?
- You guys wanna hear another song?
  mixed response
  "Alright cool."
  drummer and singer stay, guitarist and bass leave

Hey wait a minute, that's just a grocery store.

Ha! This was most folk music festivals from 1993 to 2006.

I found out about hypoglycemia because I had an episode of it once. I thought I was just pooped from playing paintball all day; but it was because I didn't eat anything at all that day.
If I ever get hungry to the point of nausea now, I don't ignore it.

Athens Porchfest in Georgia is like that. It's noon to 8 pm and it's about 200 bands performing on over 100 front porches across multiple neighborhoods - for free.

better have extremely pleasant weather
- $7 umbrellas, I'm not that worried about it

Are there chairs? Can we have some shade too?
- I just don't go to concerts without seating anymore. I drove from north Texas to New Orleans for a concert one time because it was the closest venue with seating. There was a show in my hometown, but no seating.
  I can't do a doors open at 7, then wait for the opener at 8, wait for 2nd opener at 8:45 or 9, then the main act might be on at 9:45, show ends midnight. All standing in a 1ft by 1ft square. It's just torture.

It might be safer to go inside and waste on a recliner? Please I don't want to be the object of passive ire on social media when I stand at a festival.

Borderlands festival in East Aurora New York. It's not as inexpensive as the post requests, but it kind of fits the rest.

LMAO, but this sound so good. At a college club meeting we heard about an event that's supposed to run until 10pm and everyone whinged, we're in our early 20's here, we dont want to be staying out that late.
- What was the club, old people on young bodies?
  
  You're mixing things up, that's a porn company.
  
  Lol, it doesn't sound great but its a child development club based around the child development lab on campus, we are all grandparents at heart I guess.
- It sounds like a daytime event. If it runs that late, it interferes with nighttime events, most notably drinking/getting laid.

Old Settler's Music Fest is 10a-8p each day. Kerrville Folk Fest is 8a to whenever, you can live there for two weeks if you want.
Daytime music festival crowds definitely skew older, and more people bring their kids