Christian roulette

Yikes, I got a tough one.
“Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him.”
— Mark 16:6
- A vacation to Jerusalem?

I was actually asked to leave my parents church because I was loudly arguing with the guy running a gift shop that if I were to follow Jesus, I should be flipping these tables, chasing them with whips, and damming them for turning gods house into a place of business occupied by thieves.
I guess they DON'T like considering what Jesus would do.
- Gift shop... In a church... The Bars so low it's cracking the pavement.
  
  I live in Australia and this has been a thing in every pentecostal church I've been to.
  
  This happens at churches of enough historical significance they become regular tourist attractions.
  
  So, the question I have, is where do the proceeds go, and how much is that guy making off it?
  If the money for the merch goes to, say, feeding the homeless or even just the church’s general budget, I see it as a fundraiser, and not particularly offensive.
  If the dude is pocketing the profits…. Yeah, fuck that dude.
  
  So I'm in Canada and have never seen in a church but I have in a synagogue which made me chuckle because damn is it on point lol
- Wasn't Jesus just some snotty god's bastard that god doesn't even move a finger to save from death? I suppose his opinions are irrelevant. God is the boss. And god loves money.
  
  Well, if your catholic. Jesus IS God. Just to make a stupid story even more stupid.

They’d just take this as evidence of institutionalized persecution against Christians

Isn't the old testament more hardcore than the new one ? Jewish roulette would seem more risky than christian roulette
I mean, obviously Jesus would get arrested by modern "christians" for being a "leftist hippie commie"
- Seeing as they claim Jesus amd Yahweh are one in the same you can't just ignore the OT. All the condoning slavery, taking child sacrifice as payment, stoning women who don't bleed on their wedding night.... that is all part of the Christian god.
  
  The OT is in the Christian Bible because they can't ignore it, and shouldn't ignore it. But that doesn't mean following.
  An eye for an eye is incompatible with turning the other cheek.
  Slavery is entirely a human creation, neither the Bible nor the Torah tells believers to enslave other people but what is says, all from the OT to the NT, is "give to Caesar what's his and give to God what's His", I know it sucks but it's not that different from Stoic teachings, that's why Catholics (and other Christians) belief that suffering makes them closer to God.
  Edit.
  There is a huge debate in Christendom about the meaning of “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them." Some believe the OT rules stand, some believe that they don't. Catholics are taught the OT like kids learn history in school.
- It's so weird how the last few years, Christians act like the OT has nothing to do with them.
  
  It's not just the last couple years. Things have been taught that way by the Catholic Church for decades.
  
  Last few years? That’s been going on for 16-1700 years.
- The Torah is certainly bad, but the New Testament has its fair share of problematic verses too
  Eg
  Mathew 18:9
  And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It’s better to enter eternal life with only one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.
  Mark 7:24 - 28
  Jesus left that place and went to the region of Tyre. Not wanting anyone to know He was there, He entered a house, but was unable to escape their notice. Instead, a woman whose little daughter had an unclean spirit soon heard about Jesus, and she came and fell at His feet. Now she was a Greek woman of Syrophoenician origin, and she kept asking Jesus to drive the demon out of her daughter.
  “First let the children have their fill,” He said. “For it is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.”
  “Yes, Lord,” she replied, “even the dogs under the table eat the children’s crumbs.”
  
  The first one is pretty obviously meant as a metaphor, hardly problematic. The second one is too obscure for me to even figure out what they're trying to say, let alone figure out if it problematic or not.
  
  The second passage is pretty well established as a joke that NT writers thought was an amazing burn. The "dogs" are the Pharisees, IIRC.

Oh come on. Most of the bible is boring stuff.

Let's industrialize this particular potential blasphemy.
https://dailyverses.net/random-bible-verse
Ed: > Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them.
Mark 11:23
Hey at least I'm not going to prison.
- This one claims to be truly random, I suspect yours is rigged to be more positive.
  https://searchthebible.com/truly_random_bible_verse.php
  Example:
  3: And hath gone and served other gods, and worshipped them, either the sun, or moon, or any of the host of heaven, which I have not commanded; 4: And it be told thee, and thou hast heard of it, and inquired diligently, and, behold, it be true, and the thing certain, that such abomination is wrought in Israel:
  5: Then shalt thou bring forth that man or that woman, which have committed that wicked thing, unto thy gates, even that man or that woman, and shalt stone them with stones, till they die.
  6: At the mouth of two witnesses, or three witnesses, shall he that is worthy of death be put to death; but at the mouth of one witness he shall not be put to death.
  7: The hands of the witnesses shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterward the hands of all the people. So thou shalt put the evil away from among you.
  Prison it is.
- The first ten verses I pulled were innocuous. "God is pretty cool, actually" -type stuff.
  
  It would not surprise me if it's rigged to be upbeat.
- Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or turn away from them.
  do not forget my words or turn away from them
  Yeah, prison

Again with the begatting!
- that's a lot of sex
  gawd damn son....

Oh I don't doubt they exist. Just haven't seen before.

I got Law-ception
"All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law."
Just... go to jail.. or don't... I don't know..
- This is the kind of shit that people who have never read a fucking book before see and think, "whoa, that's so deep."