What’s something you did once and immediately thought, ‘Yeah, never again’?

I tried to watch an episode of The Big Bang Theory once 🤢
- The laugh track.
  It ruins so. Many. Shows.
  I mean .. maybe I'm wrong here. But if you wrote actual funny things, I'd laugh. Idk. I'm probably wrong.
  
  Oddly, though, you can't just cut it out from shows that have it, especially if they actually film in front of a live audience, though even those with canned laughter are playing in the same sandbox. The pacing and the vibe gets completely thrown off because the writers and actors have to account for the laughs, and it becomes eerie without them. It's a different style of making TV that's seeking a different type of reaction from the TV audience, and has different limitations. Understanding that can let you enjoy the best examples of the form (admittedly almost all 20 years old or more). Stock characters slinging zingers and potentially doing pratfalls can be amusing (though the form has a direct lineage to radio shows so it tends to be light but verbal -- the physicality is a huge part of what made I Love Lucy groundbreaking), but it doesn't shine when trying to do cringe, nuance, dramedy, or densely packed humor.
  This is not to say that you should watch The Big Bang Theory. You should not. It's awful. The easy tropes and low cost of production (other than stars' salaries if a show takes off) means that so much garbage has been done in this format, I daresay higher than single-camera "movie style" shows. It's just that it's not quite so simple as "write more funnier."
  IMO, it's almost like telling a musical theater writing team that their play would be better if the characters weren't constantly breaking into song. For the record, my instincts and tastes leave me sympathetic to that last point, so I just don't watch many musicals, live or recorded. It's not that they're bad; the appeal is just lost on me. Same with multi-cam sitcoms with laugh-tracks.
  
  Without it most of them are just condescending and misogynist. It's always sunny in Philadelphia has no laugh track and is just great.
- —sees a woman in a game store—
  "Ummmm is she lost?" —scoff—
  —laugh track plays—
  Unironically actually in the show.
- I stopped watching TV when my favourite channel lost access to several shows and turned into a TBBT re-run channel. Four. Fucking. Episodes. Every day. The series looped about once every two months.
  
  I gave up on television sometime around the end of Stargate SG-1, somewhere in the middle of Eureka!.
  It was right around then that only the 24 hour news networks were what they said they were; there was no Sci-Fi on SyFy, no history on History, no music on MTV, no discovery on Discovery...adult prime time television was going to the humorless "gritty realism" phase, and the only topic anyone would smalltalk about was Game of Thrones.
  To this day I watch basically nothing but Youtube.
- My father got big into that show. Destroyed his ability to hold a conversation, because Every. Single. Fucking. Thing. You. Say. To. Him. "Reminds me of this thing that happened on Big Bang Theory where Sheldon...
  He's got a litany of shitty sitcoms he can't just fucking stop with. "Character says something." laugh track "Well other character says sumn else!" laugh track. "Maternal and/or love interest character walks across room, touches character's arm, says something about feelings." canned manufactured pindrop silence "Character says sumn else!" laugh track
  Fuck your ventricles.

Cocaine. It was VERY fun. I fucking loved it.
I haven't touched it since. I just knew the hole it would lead me down.
- I had the opposite experience. It just gave an earwax taste, killed my beer buzz, and the next day i felt like a spike had be driven through my skull.
  Same result, never touched it again.
  
  …how do you know what earwax tastes like

i went to subway recently... the sandwich place. holy hell what a pile of expensive dogshit.
- When you could get $5 foot longs it was worth it. But sammiches are like $15 now.
  And then I read once there is so much sugar in the bread that in Europe it would be considered cake.
- Maybe next time try the expensive tuna instead of dogshit.

Had a wedding.
- Rookie mistake.. Hopefully you're fully recovered, as I am...

Trust a christian.
- You guys were taught that it was god?? I was taught it was always satan or some lesser demon lying to me.
- As a Christian, I can completely relate to your sentiment. I've found Christians to be the most closed-off, narrow-minded group of people, distrusting and even downright antagonistic of anything that sounds "non-Chiristian."
  As a Christian, I'm sorry you've been hurt. It's not right.
- Tbf he was crucified by romans of unspecified religion. Also he got better.

Gave birth.
- Yup. One-and-done.

A couple years ago I was out hunting with a friend and we saw a porcupine. My dad had always told me they were delicious and it was in season so I took my shot. Once we had the meat I thought I would take the hide home and harvest the quills.
Good. Lord. Porcupines are filthy creatures. I had a Rubbermaid full of soapy water and I was pulling the quills and guard hairs out and then trying to wash them free of literal shit.
But basically all I was doing was shit-needle acupuncture all over my hands. I was sure I was gonna end up with some sort of porcupine aids or something.
I spent a good 3-4 hours trying to clean the largest of the quills and guard hairs, and then I said fuck it. Took my fistfull of "clean" quills and put the rest in a few old paper bags and into the green bin.
I found quills in my clothes almost a year later. While visiting a friends house in jeans I had NOT been wearing, while out ice fishing (in the bibs I wore), in my sock one day.
I'm sure there aren't that many people on here that have been considering taking a porcupine and trying to weave/craft with its quills. But please, don't do it.
- I need to go right now and wash the few quills I received from a porcupine zoo experience. They keep quills that are shed and hand a few out to folks. Poop acupuncture, omg. Since you appear to have survived, your poop antibodies must be off the charts now. 😅
  
  I'm basically invisible.
  I should have just gone to your zoo... I ended up with maybe 40 quills or something, my friends collection from pulling them out of her horse and dog is bigger...
- But was the porcupine delicious?
  
  Very sadly, it was not. I'm not sure if it was my fault, the prep or what. I do eat all sorts of wild game that I've hunted or salvaged. I love squirrel and pigeon, I've eaten road kill deer, bear, moose, goose.... Cotton tail and snowshoe hare.... Wild Turkey... Basically if it's made of meat I'll give it a go. Still waiting to try raccoon and beaver, which I do wonder if they won't share some similarities..
  But I found it very unpleasant. Raw the meat was so... gelatinous? Delicate? Like pressing with a finger would leave a sad dent. It spread out on the cutting board like gravity was too much for it.
  We did it as taco meat so I just threw it in the instant pot with onions and maybe some chili spices I can't recall.. it had that skunky gameyness that I've started to associate with older animals and poorly handled meat. She may have been a great Grammama but the meat was well cared for and eaten fresh.
  We shredded and ate it on tortillas with onions and homemade salsas. My sister and brother in law didn't mind it and my partner said it was ok but I've sworn them off for now. They are very charming creatures so it's not all bad.
  
  I had porcupine when I was a kid. I found it gross, the meat smells gross and it's super gamey. Was cooked by my grandparents who are native and hunted all their lives so it wasn't cooked wrong or not cleaned, I just thought it was gross.
  Unrelated but moose meat is the best meat in existence IMO. I could eat that every day for the rest of my life and die with a smile on my face.

Salvia Divinorum
At one point in time I could probably have been convinced to try a lot of things. Fortunately for me (probably) Salvia Divinorum was the first thing I tried after marijuana, and it so thoroughly destroyed any notion I had that I could control my experience that it put me off trying just about everything else I was curious about.
Thank god the entire experience is single digit minutes.
- Oh man, I think it’s a fantastic and intense single digit minute experience.
  My first time I turned into a big red and white circus tent. The stretching out I experienced was fucking crazy, and I screamed in laughter and horror. It was wild.
  I can understand it not being someone’s cup of tea, but the hysterical laughter has been in every salvia trip I’ve done.
  
  I had no hallucinations - they may have been inhibited by my absolute panic.
  It was a very long time ago for me but from what I can recall -
  I felt immediately mostly disconnected from my body, and like I was constantly falling or about to fall. I essentially laid there starfished on the bed telling myself over and over that it was supposed to be really short and wondering if I'd just killed myself until it passed, then got up and decided I'd never touch that shit again.
  
  whoa! that's funny -- once I turned into a ferris wheel! I thought that was just a me thing, but circus tent sounds poetically close to my experience.
  That same time though, my partner had a maybe too-intense time, meeting wise aliens and disappointedly coming back to this stupid life.
- I’ve long been interested in this and dph for the large number of “don’t do it” stories. Same with h, but that one tends to be “don’t do it because it’s so good”.
  Don’t think I ever will, but stories like yours always give me a tingle.
  
  Clearly for some folks it's great. I dunno maybe I just wasn't in the right frame of mind. It hits you all at once, there is no buildup, and that may have contributed to me freaking out.
  Don't get me wrong, I intended my comment as a warning, but with a trusted sitter in a safe space maybe someone else will have a better first time.
  My understanding is it's not a particularly high risk drug, despite how intensely it kicks you (or at least me) in the face. (but again, don't take my word for it)
  
  It’s a very weird drug. I only know one person who actually likes the experience.
  I went to a white and grey world where I became a bookshelf and the corner brick of a building for a bit.
  I tried it a couple of times and have no desire to try it again. It’s more of a drug for people who want to explore and experiment.
  My tips: sit down when doing it. Have a sober person present. People sometimes start moving around and injure themselves.
- Oh yeah that one's intense. Definitely not a good one for a first trip lol
  
  Yeah it was rough. But in the same sense that I'm glad I didn't own a sportbike when I was young (because I'm certain I'd have hurt myself or others with it at that age), it's probably not a bad thing that I got some firm discouragement against that kind of experimentation. It didn't end my experimentation, but it certainly helped me realize I wasn't immortal.
  (I do none of that kind of thing for decades now. Just nothing I want to mess with these days.)

I went to a Young Life gathering to try and meet people at uni freshman year. The first one was a slightly awkward BBQ at someone's off campus house. The second was on campus event that dropped off into that Uncanny Valley of mormon-like sing-alongs and activities.
My buddy and I surveyed the room, felt the hair on the back of our necks prickle, and we got out of there.
If you've seen Heretic or The Endless, it gave off those religious vibes. Too happy/smiley. Too weirdly perfect. Everyone talking about volunteering at kids camps over the summer and how fulfilling it was.
Like, I'm glad that people found something they liked. But it wasn't people talking about real stuff, like their awesome mountain biking adventure over the summer, or volunteering overseas to rescue animals, or even getting over alcoholism. It was all hyper religious forced positivity, and this is coming from someone who grew up religious.

Anal(probably)
No me gusto poopoo en mi peepee
- Oral sex is a high-end sports car; it can be incredibly impressive based on the driver. Vaginal is a luxury sedan. A handjob is public transit; it gets you there eventually, but eh.
  Anal is the jeep of sex. Yeah you might get dirty, it's a little rough, but some people just love off-roading in their jeep. And if that's what they're into, then they're probably really into it.
  
  Woah man you’re, like, blowing my mind here

Technically, I guess this was twice, but
<HankHill>
the mari-hwanas
</HankHill>
.
Smoked a little in a perfectly lovely part of Amsterdam with my wife, who importantly is NOT a chronic overthinker who was raised by uptight Southern-fried Mormons, but I just immediately got paranoid and was obsessed with the likelihood that two random Dutch guys were staring at me and planning something bad. The fact that ten years later I still think it was possible they were eyeing us, while she is completely dismissive, tells me I do not need to be smoking pot.
Also tried some edibles in the hotel room, but that just made me sleepy with nothing particularly fun happening, though admittedly nothing bad happened either. Very "Meh."
- Yeah, that happens sometimes. It happened to me the 2nd or 3rd time I ever smoked pot. Hasn't happened since. I'm a very, very irregular smoker though, and don't smoke much more than just enough to feel a mild buzz.
  I've got a batch of edibles in the freezer--I made some brownies for my partner--but apparently you aren't supposed to use a whole ounce in a small pan of brownies? IDK, apparently they're a bit on the strong side.
  
  I've heard many times that "alcohol is worse than smoking pot" or "they're about the same", depending on who you ask. Never smoked pot, so I can't speak from experience there, but booze never caused me any of the weird stuff I read about smoking.
  Sure, drink a lot, and you you will run into some nasty problems. Also seems to hold true for the people who smoke way too much. I know some people who have been smoking for years, and their brains are clearly fried to a crisp. Then again, if they had been drinking instead, who knows how bad it would have been. Probably very bad.
  However, smoking once can apparently have some unexpected results, whereas drinking once... Well, if you have just a few drinks, you should be relatively fine. If you drink a lot, you'll wake up the next morning in someone else's house with a stolen traffic sign next to you. Oh, and the Unexplained Party Injuries, embarrassing photos, hangover etc. Now don't get me wrong, there are some serious downsides.
  It's just that smoking seems to have some truly bizarre downsides. Maybe it's all about how much you smoke.
  
  The guy we buy our edibles from indeed uses a whole ounce in every batch. I only have a nibble and my husband eats half of whatever it is, muffin or brownie.
- I tried marijuana in my youth and all I got out of it was a migraine that made me want to die.
  It turns out I'm particularly sensitive to carbon monoxide. So no MJ (or tobacco either, really) for me!
- Never smoked, edibles only, but anything but the weakest THC levels gives me an intense paranoia that I despise. However, if I do manage to get something with a stupidly low THC dosage, I get to enjoy it for its benefits. Mostly, it helps my brain let go of obsessive thinking. It's a bit like a muscle relaxing after holding it tight.
  But damn is that a tightrope to walk. I absolutely do not blame you for never touching the stuff again.
  Also one time I took an edible that was paired with melatonin and thought I was going to suffocate and die. (Then I slept for 10 hours.)

Bungee jumping.
I didn't even want to do it to begin with, I just got in the wrong line for the big waterslide at Manteca Waterslides and said "fuck it, why not?"
Hated it. And this was in a special location, with a giant air bag under you. I can't imagine base jumping from a bridge or on the side of a mountain of something. 😨
- I got a jump for my 18th birthday and was really looking forward to it. It was a jump from a crane over a lake and you would dip your head in the water at the lowest point. The jump itself was ok but nothing I'd want to repeat in itself but once I reached the lowest point and the rebound hit me, my head felt like it was about to explode. I felt horrible for the next few hours plus my hair was wet from the dip. Thanks, just no thanks.
- My ex-partner and I started skydiving together. They loved it, I was indifferent. Since I was indifferent, I dropped out, 'cuz that shit's expensive. My partner kept doing it.
  One of the people we did ground school with--that's the classes you have to take before you do your first solo jump--died base jumping about 3 years later. In 3 years, he'd accumulated well over 1000 jumps. Nice guy. Always chasing a thrill though.

Tried snowboarding, never again.
Turns out, your legs need to be really strong, or you’ll have your hands on the ground too often. If that happens like every minute, your shoulders are not going to be pleased with that. I have a feeling that this short experiment may have caused some minor damage my physiotherapist was unable to detect.
- I never understood that. When snowboarding, you can just rotate to brake, and then you can just sit to take a break if you want. Heck, you can even do the leaf down a whole slope, easily and safely, and it's still kind of fun.
  Meanwhile, skiing requires superhuman leg strength, even if you just want to go slowly, and will twist your legs in gruesome ways when you fall.
  
  If skiing takes a lot of physical work, that's a sign that your stance is off. You can ski almost anywhere just by shifting your body weight from one foot to the other. Back when I was a ski instructor, my old boss (a ski instructor of multiple decades) used to say that skiing is a "skeletal" sport, not a "muscular". If you're working hard it's likely because there's something wrong with your stance and you're subconsciously using your muscles to compensate. The most common specific example of this I saw in my lessons (and had a habit of myself which I've been working on for years) was skier's quads burning out, because they were leaning back (consciously or not), because they lacked confidence (consciously or not).
  I've come to learn that this advice applies to any physical activity. You can tell a master by their economy of movement, whether it's snow sports, playing an instrument, martial arts, or tossing haybails. Use weight and momentum, don't fight it.
  
  You can twist to brake with skis too! (hockey stop) :)
  You shouldn't be exerting too much muscle if you are skiing on relatively unbroken terrain. The only time you really use a lot of leg muscle is in deep, deep, heavy powder, in order to keep your tips up. Or if you are going over huge moguls or bumps at a high rate of speed, using your legs as giant shock absorbers.
  If you have tight boots, sharp ski edges, and a slightly forward stance, your leg muscles shouldn't tire out very quickly.
  
  My instructor told me that if you just relax, you won't be in control any more, and the board will just slide somewhere. Instead, you need to actively push one of the edges down into the snow. That sort of board rotation requires good balance and strength. If you're not up for it, you'll end up loosing your balance, and sort of "falling" gently. No speed required. You can do these gentle falls, and you'll feel nothing. It's just that next morning, you'll suddenly realized how much stress yesterday actually put on your shoulders.
  Turns out, you should never go snowboarding unless you're already able to stand on your heels and/or toes for an extended period of time. That sort of balancing, endurance and strength is absolutely crucial.
  
  Yes you can, however it takes a few trips (at least for me) to learn to do that without falling. In the process you will fall a lot and hurt yourself a lot.
- I agree! Snowboarding is a physically intensive young person sport
- It gets easier with practice. Trying once is not enough practice. L
  
  That is true. However, spending one hour is way too much. Maybe something like 20 minutes three times a day for two weeks would be better. That way, the impact stress would be tolerable and necessary muscles would have enough time to grow. Sadly, that sort of thing is fundamentally incompatible with the way vacations and ski resorts work.

Go to a concert. I was young, but it was so loud and crowded that I cried. I know that's the concert experience, but it's too much for me. I don't do live performances that aren't theater/Orchestra.

Paid extra in a movie. Worst $80 I've ever earned.
- Funny how being an unpaid extra is a totally different experience. It was a giant party. I was in the crowd at the Steelers stadium when Bane blew up the field in Dark Knight Rises. We had to crouch down behind seats and look terrified. We couldn't fucking understand anything of what Bane was saying, but assumed it would be fixed in post. Haha, no it wasn't.
  We had swag bags. They brought out 3 Tumblers to amuse us. Most Steelers players were there, Tom Hardy ofc (who didn't even look like himself he was so jacked for that role). We got to hear what it sounds like when that 1 of 4 in existence IMAX camera broke. They fed us lots of Popsicles because it was 90-something degrees in July and they were filming a winter scene and wanted us to be wearing cold weather gear. It was a fun day. 10/10 worth the drive up from DC to go do that.
- The story is it was extremely boring. Hearing two or three people say the same thing over and over for hours, no breaks, no food. A ten-hour day and we didn't even make minimum wage.
  I did get within groping distance of both Gwenyth Paltrow and Jake Gyllenhaal, though.
  
  No, it was called, "Extra Facial".
- I got invited to the theaters and wasn't told that it was going to be one of the full menu dinner experiences. Hated it. Mediocre, overpriced, microwaved food and distractions the whole time. They know not to invite me to those again.
  Side note, if your friend wears glasses, make sure they know if it's going to a 3d showing so they can get their contacts. Stacking glasses sucks.

Eat squid jerky. One of the worst things I've ever put in my mouth.
- I grew up with it, lol.
  
  Fake news. Koreans aren't real.
- Never tried that before. Normal squid is pretty chewy and tastes like 50% cardboard and 50% meh, so was it the same or even worse?
  
  Vastly worse. It hyper-concentrates the flavors that I already did not greatly enjoy in regular squid.
- There are different kinds here in Japan and I enjoy it fairly often. We have the very hard and dry type in the pantry now. Dip in mayo with smoked paprika and shichimi or similar and it's divine.
- Weird. I love squid jerky. Of course it's probably prepared very differently here from where you are.

hydro massage. one of the worst physical sensations I've ever experienced. imagine being poked by an annoying toddler through a canvas tarp 100 times a second and also the tarp is warm and there are LOUD water sounds and your skin starts itching and just NOOOOOOPE
I'll stick with the regular massage chairs and actual massage therapy!
- Agree, it's like it's just intense enough to pretend that it's doing something without actually doing anything. And then you sense when it's coming to your calves and you just pray that it gets off your calves quickly!

Snow skiing. After about the 50th time falling over I said "I'm not enjoying this at all," took off my skis, and enjoyed the rest of the day not falling over.
- That's my experience with skateboarding. With skateboarding it's pavement. Longboarding was fine, fun way to commute.
  I like skiing, if you fall it's just snow, but learning as a teenager or adult sounds miserable.

Driving 233 km/h. Fun to see it was possible, way too risky.
- 315km/h for me on a motorbike. So fast that by the time you notice and register something, it's already 100m behind you. Fun as hell. Risk not anywhere equivalent to reward though. Never again.
- A while back I met a guy on a ride-share app that would drive 200 km/h+ whenever possible. Always tried to book him when he was availible.
- Same. I just wanted to see if my Honda could keep up with that Supra. So we were going around that speed (my 145mph speedometer was maxed) and weaving in and out of traffic. The risks I took as a younger person!🤦🏽‍♀️ Just glad I didn't kill anyone.
  I'm an old lady now, don't drive like one but definitely much safer.

Paintball.
Took a hit directly on the neck the first time I tried it. Had a big sun shaped yellow and purple bruise on my neck for weeks.
Pass.
- The physical punishment is part of the fun.
- Oof that's like the only place you don't want to be hit in paintball: neck and ears

I went on one of those rides that lifts you in the air, then drops you until you reach the bottom. Never again. Couldn't sleep for weeks after that.
- Why?
  
  It freaked me out big time. I’ve always been a little afraid of heights, but since I went on that ride, I’ve been absolutely terrified of heights

Whippets. I had this awful sensation of being frozen in a horrible moment of eternity while my friends looked on in amusement, not realizing I was experiencing timeless hell.
- Lol a whippet is a dog breed in England. I was so confused.
  
  Same. Had to look it up to figure out what people are talking about.
- oh damn. was it combined with another drug? I've always thought of those as "whee, haha, my voice sounds different," but mix it with a hallucinogen or something and you are in another dimension.
  
  No other drugs, just my bare, natural brain.
  
  Was in another dimension without other drugs. It was a good experience to check off the 'drugs i want to try before i die' list but not worth coming back to.

Not because I needed confirmation, but because I thought it might be a way to connect to other with similar worldviews...
I joined an atheist meetup group. Well, let me just say the only thing we had in common was just that, the atheistic view.
Beyond that it was a random mishmash of people with whom I had nothing in common. And it was immediately revealed to me that there is some kind of sickness in the overall community of those folks, I immediately realized how insane it was to continually discuss something that you don't believe exists.
I mean yeah, we were all coming because of the stated reason of shared atheistic view, but how irrational is it to hyperfocus on something that doesn't exist???
And the other thing, I assumed there would be some kind of intellectual rigor that was present in each person that came to be an atheist, and I found that was not the truth at all. These folks were just as ludicrous and ridiculous as people that believe in homeopathy and every other nonsensical concept.
I couldn't get the hell out of there fast enough, and I will never ever go back. I will never socialize with anybody who's identity is so deeply tied to atheism
- Makes sense. It's hard to really rally around something you aren't interested in. It's a lack of belief, after all. Though some kind of religious trauma support group would have definitely been valuable to me in the deep South.
  
  some kind of religious trauma support group
  I have been a part of maybe 3 different groups (it's been a while) and used to attend some regularly. That was pretty much it for us--a support group where people shared how they were raised and how they came to leave their religion.
  I also met with FFRF people a couple of times--once to join a "walk" to raise funds for a cause that had nothing to do with religion or atheism, and another to help erect a solstice/reason sign for the holidays.
  I agree there are some weirdos, but it sounds like OP just happened to join a particularly odd group.
  
  That's exactly it, these people are still suffering from the trauma inflicted upon them
  The other side of the coin, in my opinion, is that you actually have to heal from that, you cannot just spend the rest of your life ranting and raving
  I grew up in an insane religious cult so I feel this all lol

I went to professional thai massage therapy recommended by my colleagues. I had extreme reservations because of... well, you know, it's a thai massage. But my colleagues swore that the salon was legit, very professional, articulate staff, no sexual component included, very relaxing, does wonders for your neck. So what the hell, as a desk jockey my neck hurts all the time, I'll give it a try.
Cautiously, I booked a neck and shoulder massage online. When I turned up, there was no receptionist, just a harried-looking middle-aged thai lady who spoke not a word of any language comprehensible to me. She hustled me into a bare room with a forlorn massage table in the middlle, and told me via Google Translate to remove my clothes.
Startled to obedience, I removed my button-up shirt and approached the table. This did not go down well with the lady, who prodded me with a bony finger and indicated that t-shirt and trousers should go too. I tried to point out that I had booked a neck and shoulders massage but to no avail. CLOTHES OFF SIR nagged the phone screen.
So there I was, in my embarrassing tighty whities shivering in a cold room, wishing I had worn my "Sounds GAY I'm in" boxers, undoubtedly about to be ravished by an increasingly annoyed thai lady who kept prodding and poking me towards the table.
I'll not go into details about what happened, except it was not in any way what I was expecting. She mauled me with a strength of dozen bears, cracking my joints, pulverizing my buttocks. She turned my unwilling chubby body into such contortions that I had to squeeze my sphincter shut as if my life depended on it, in order not to rip out a series of massive farts. I'll give her that there indeed was no happy ending, but it was an hour of absolute agony and I when I finally limped out, tears in my eyes, belt undone and my shirt buttons crooked, I felt like I had been waterboarded by CIA for weeks.
I don't think I need to say that it was the first and last massage in my life.
- Yeah.
  I'm just not into having a massage from someone I'm not romantically entangled with. Some people are, hard no from me.
  That said, my wife is Thai. Massage skills seem to be something like Swimming is to Australians or cooking to Italians. You learn some at school but it's such a big part of your cultural identity that everyone just knows how to do it.
  She very frequently tells me that massages aren't supposed to feel good nor are they supposed to be relaxing. Apparently a good massage hurts and you take as much pain as you can bear in order to "fix your muscles".
  We've been together for 13 years now and I'm still not sure how much I believe her.
- Yeah, I've accidentally walked into a seedy massage once or twice...I mean, if you've got pain you want got rid of and you see a sign that says, "walk-ins welcome," you ignore a lot of warning signs. Even though it soon became obvious that I wasn't their typical clientele, I appreciate how they just get in there and do the job. It seems most legit places are afraid to do anything--which I guess makes sense since massage therapy can sometimes result in sexual harassment suits.
  But, yeah, no more Asian massages. Sadly, there don't seem to be any legit ones, which is a shame because you have shady businesses ruining it for immigrants who legitimately want to provide a good massage.

Velocicoaster at Universal Studios. It was just way too intense. There were multiple times where I felt like I was gonna fly out of my seat for a few seconds at a time.
Thinking on it, also the Superman and Green Lantern coasters at Six Flags. I can't handle the climb on the superman coaster, since you are staring down at the ground the whole time, and since the Green Lantern coaster is a standing coaster, you either give yourself a little room and destroy your knees or you lock yourself in and destroy your balls.

Windsurfing. Cold, wet, miserable, bored of falling off a stuggling back on and picking up the sail. Not for me.

Recently? I got graston done on my knees (https://painhero.ca/blog/the-graston-technique-what-is-it-and-how-effective-is-it)
Might work well for some, but I could barely walk for a week.
- So, what? Are they just crushing your muscle fibers with meat tenderizers and hoping it heals back better? That looks... unsettling.
  
  I mean, kind of. It's meant to break up scar tissue and adhesions.

Skateboarding; tried it once because I thought (and still think) it was one of the coolest things ever but immediately fell on my face before even thinking about doing cool stuff.
- Bend your knees 🤙
- immediately fell on my face before even thinking about doing cool stuff
  It’s called learning difficult things. Everyone who has ever learned to skate has fallen plenty of times.
  
  True, but I've since learned how bad my balance is; I can thankfully ride a bike just fine but everything else, even walking in a straight line, is kinda difficult.
  I had an infection of the vestibular system on both sides a couple of years back, I'm certain that had something to do with it...

chewing tobacco. don't get me wrong, I love cigarettes (not a "smoker," I don't keep a pack around), and pipes, but I got so sick the one time I chewed.... and it lasts hours, unlike the cigarette headrush.
- In a similar manner, I've spent the last two years being addicted to snus (Swedish tobacco pouches you put under your lip). Finally quit using it during Christmas and holy hell I've regained so much energy. Never again.
  
  dang! good for you!
  
  Regained energy? Please elaborate.

My Dad and I impulsively got on the Zipper ride at the festival. Absolutely loved it, will never ever do it again, 10/10, do not recommend

Ate aspic.

Went to a corrida in southern France. Apparently it went particularly bad. It was horrific to watch (for the bull).

30 minutes ago I tried some Goody's for my headache. It tastes like death and didn't even help the headache.
- Huh, weird. That's my go to. It doesn't taste that bad to me, but I've tasted some pretty horrible things.
  
  ...what's the worst thing you've tasted?

I tried cooking an Asian dessert. It tasted like sweetened scrambled eggs.
- To be fair, that might be the intended flavor

Weed and alcohol. I don't want to go on that ride again.

I know that there a lot of IT people on Lemmy, and it fits the stereotype, but quite a few of the posts in this thread really scream "I tried XY but it meant physically tiring stuff!" Lol

Walking into an IKEA store.
It was a sensory nightmare.

Massage, wow it was literally torture, and it was authentic so it's not like I got a bad one. I just always heard how relaxing and awesome it is, but I always thought it sounds horrible. Against my better judgment I tried it, 45 MINUTES OF IT!! And my stupid ass polite self decided that I will suffer through it because it would be insulting to ask to stop. Literally I had to go to my "happy place" because of how terrible it felt. To this day, thinking about it makes my skin crawl and my brain short-circuit.
- What was the issue specifically?
  
  Literally every part of it was either painful or extremely uncomfortable. I don't think it was her fault, I think I might have some sensory issues. Aaahh, just writing this makes me feel horrible, the memories come back like a flood

dual clutch auto in a sports car. can be really really good but still, if gas fueled sports car, should have three pedals.
- I love driving a 3 pedal. I’m hoping for genuinely eco fuels or maybe Mazda being the crazy person in the room and releasing (another) hydrogen burning wankel so it doesn’t have to disappear from this world. I don’t mind using an electric car for a daily driver but sometimes I want to have fun.
- Gas fueled sports cars (real ones, not "sports" cars with automatics) do have three pedals: gas, brake, and clutch.
  
  Sports cars with good dual clutch autos are definitely still sports cars, I'm not at all about that sort of elitism. Just stating my own preference.
  
  I think that's what they're saying