What would happen if Punxsutawney Phil comes out, and immediately dies?
Like, he pops out of his little hole, and just.....his heart stops.
Do we get 6 more weeks of winter or not? Maybe we get an apocalypse instead?
The same thing that happens no matter what a groundhog does. Because groundhogs don't affect the weather.
Nuclear Winter. It is known.
Apocalypse gestures broadly
Bill Murray would become stuck in time, forced to relive the same day for what could be decades or centuries. Slowly he'd use this time to become a better person, a kinder person, a person capable of both loving and being loved. Ultimately, he'd find reprieve in the arms of his soulmate.
Phil, the goddamned weather hamster would still have six more weeks of being dead.
I seem to remember reading an article saying that they have to replace Phil often, and they're (the long line of Phil's) always in poor health, because they get fed and absolutely shit diet.
Easily could be remembering a figment of my imagination, and I'm too tired and lazy to look it up. So I look forward to someone with more motivation than me proving my remembering one way or the other.
They put in the replacement groundhog and try again, and give the late p-phil an honorable burial. This will happen as many times as necessary for as long as necessary.
jealous, mostly
Trump would blame the woke.
What if he dies via lightning strike?
Some kid in a shiny car and a hazmat suit turns up out of nowhere five seconds later and starts shouting and cursing into a bulky radio about having missed it to someone called "Doc".
It would be just as catastrophic as the last time this happened, when [REDACTED].
That actually happened this year to the Punxsutawney Phil from... Tennessee I believe? Not the main one, but another groundhog event on the same day.
(A few moments later)
Looks like it was Kentucky. Link is pay-walled, but here it is if anyone is curious: https://www.courier-journal.com/story/news/2024/02/05/kentucky-groundhog-dies-groundhog-day-2024-major-second-chances-wildlife-center/72477815007/
The Pox Eclipse.
A fur/stump time paradox would occur.
EDIT: Yikes! Hey, at least I tried. Not everyone can make cool meme pics.
I like this joke.