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  • Porn and weed.

    I've no doubt there are people that can use it moderately, but my brain just keeps wanting more. I quit cigarettes with no issues. I went from drinking a 6-pack a night to barely drinking at all. But those two really are hard to escape. Every time I kick weed I always have a night where I'm relaxing and I go and get a preroll - then end up getting more and smoking for the next few days before I realize what I'm doing. Same thing with porn. I can smoke a hell of a lot of porn.

    But seriously, it's hard to quit. And I think that part of the reason is due to my inability to label either of those things as "real addictions" in my head. Neither of those things are demonstrably decreasing my quality of life, at least not the way cigarettes and alcohol did, so I'm having trouble contextualizing them as harmful. Porn is easier for me in that regard, since it definitely subconsciously affects my views on the human body, and noticing that more is helping me shake the habit.

    For the record, I do think weed is a lot less harmful than booze. But there's a right way and a wrong way to use it, and I've been using it the wrong way for so long that I don't think I can use it the right way.

    To quote one of the great philosophers of our times:

    "Well, Stan, the truth is marijuana probably isn't gonna make you kill people, and it most likely isn't gonna fund terrorism, but, well son, pot makes you feel fine with being bored, and it's when you're bored that you should be learning some new skill or discovering some new science or being creative. If you smoke pot you may grow up to find out that you aren't good at anything."

    Now, I don't necessarily think all of that is true. Plenty of people are creative and innovative and also smoke pot, but it does make you content with doing nothing. Very relaxing in the moment, until you realize, after a few years of daily smoking, that all your friends have been learning new things and growing and you've been sitting on the couch watching TV the whole time. It's totally fine to use every now and then, and by no means should be illegal, but we do need to start being realistic about how daily cannabis use quells that burning desire to be active and improve ourselves.

  • Tobacco. 10,000%.

    I smoked 3 packs a day for 25 years.

    Then when vaping appeared on the scene, I switched to vaping - HEAVY vaping, loads of nicotine (you could buy 100 mg/ml nicotine base by the gallon for a few bucks back when it was still free). For 10 years.

    Then finally I quit vaping. It's been 5 years.

    I'm finally free from tobacco. And it's entirely thanks to vaping for me. I tried a million times and only vaping finally peeled me off tobacco (and then it took me 10 years to peel myself off vaping, but that was easier).

    That's what it took and how long it took me to get off tobacco. I curse the everlasting shit out of the day I took my first drag on a cigarette...

  • Not to claim equivalence or anything, but smartphone and the internet (ironic saying so here I know).

    I’m a xennial … old enough to remember living without all this and the middle time where computers were either games or just useful tools.

    For me, and I’m pretty sure many others, I’m pretty convinced it’s better that way.

    I’d really like to get away from these things, at least just to relearn older habits.

    • Born in 80, so a similar vintage to you; and yeah, we have connections and information now, but I feel like we should have stopped some time around 05, before smartphones really took hold.

      I'm absolutely willing to accept that I'm wearing the highest grade rose tinted goggles, but not having to do everything online certainly felt better than whatever all this is. gestures broadly

      I remember what it was like before I could stave off boredom at any time, but even then I don't think the convenience outweighs the problems. Though in fairness it's not really the phones, but the companies who make billions from us using them. But those companies had nowhere near the same amount of power, and I can't help thinking that was a good thing.

    • I am confronting the fact that I have lost the ability to just be bored. I need to get that back.

      • Yep! Embracing boredom is likely the path back. Because it’s not a dead space. It’s a canvas.

    • I’m slightly younger (born in 86) but went through a similar thought process a couple of years back. I remembered being an avid reader as a kid but could barely make it through a book or two a year, and struggled to maintain any form of attention span. I forced myself to read more for about the first month, then I got addicted to it again and ended up reading 42 books that year. I’m very conscious now about pretty much always having my devices in some form of focus mode/app time limits and prioritizing focus/reading time. I feel much better.

      • I’ve been starting to think that it’s something us older millennials can actually do for our younger friends … remind, demo and teach what a less tech ruled life can look like, how tech can be treated as more humane and not a necessity.

  • Excessive amounts of food. I have to eat, but cutting back to the amount I should be eating for my age and physical activity is so tough.

    The cause is binge eating in my youth when I was extremely active but didn't eat three meals a day due to adhd absentmindedness. Frequently I would only have one or two meals a day, but eat two or more meals worth of calories at a time and burn it off in short order.

    Now with family and a desk job with a scheduled lunchtime it is basically impossible to eat when I'm hungry instead of when it is 'time to eat' and portion control is a struggle. Quitting smoking required buying a house and quitting together with the wife, at least that had a cutoff date that I could say "I haven't smoked since moving in". Eating less is something I need to do every day!

  • Porn I’m afraid. Starting as a way to combat boredom and loneliness and anxiety as a preteen has turned in to a fifteen year long struggle and descent in to various medications and treatments that only impede my ability to develop healthy intimate relationships. Nofap, yorubrainonporn, abstaining, none of it has been effective for more than three weeks of it. Even being a pen tester when the compulsivity hits, it’s me versus my skills. And it’s always a losing demoralizing battle.

  • Social media. I'll close the app and put my phone in my pocket, done with scrolling, then immediately take out my phone and open an app.

  • New things. I simply can't stay with anything. Makes it basically impossible to have any decent job, because people want and expect you to be an expert at what you do.

  • Sitting down too much. It took four lumbagos in three years to finally get the point.

    I don't write as much anymore unfortunately, but the huge upside is that, after two decades of not being able to do so, I can finally squat again with heels planted without tipping over. A proper Slav squat. Practicing this almost daily for nearly a year has improved my foundational skateboarding skills significantly. And I simply feel more youthful too.

  • Gonna have to go with alcohol and benzodiazepine abuse for this one, basically because it's the only one that I have beaten (citation needed). Only one relapse in the past 10-ish years or so! Though it took a few relationships with it, and I've gone through multiple hospitalizations (some even voluntarily), and because of that combo and all the other shit that was going on in my head (not to mention the cocktail of SSRIs and eventual SNRIs like Effexor at max dosage combined with stuff like Seroquel at max dosage for literal years, of which Effexor is still the bane of my existence; and stuff like ECT) there's like this hazy quality in my own past for me. As if I'm talking about someone else. I can't even remember most of my life from around 2013-2018 or so.

    I'd say the worst part about abusing benzos with alcohol is how good it feels. I still have the cravings. Like even now I'd be up for it. That combined with the fact that it only brings out the worst in me, every narcissistic and sosiopathic tendency is not only brought forth but amplified also. And it's unhealthy in general.

    So if you don't happen to die in your sleep; once you wake up and realize just how many people you've hurt, when the full weight of your own actions and the coming consequences descend upon you, you just might hope that you did. Vice, thy name is me

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