4d ago

Master negotiator Donald Trump to end Ukraine war by simply giving Russia everything it wants

newsthump.com Master negotiator Donald Trump to end Ukraine war by simply giving Russia everything it wants

In a move that has stunned both allies and adversaries alike, President Donald Trump has officially announced his plan to end the war in Ukraine, by handing Vladimir Putin everything he wants.

Trump, who won reelection in November 2024 partly by claiming he could end the Ukraine war in one day, spent his first month in office posting cryptic messages on Truth Social about how the “deep state” was preventing him from implementing his genius plan. Now, with pressure mounting, he has finally delivered on his promise – by offering to surrender on Ukraine’s behalf.

23 comments

Where's the parody?
- 6D chess.
- Trump will fight tooth and nail against the ruzzians.....

I thought The Onion was supposed to be satire...
- It's Satyr.

I believe his tactic is:
”Negotiate” a deal with Russia without Ukraine
Present the deal to Ukraine
Ukraine declines the deal because it mostly favors Russia while Ukraine gets nothing
Accuse Ukraine for being warmongers who refuse to end the war
Stop the aid to Ukraine because ”he doesn’t want to support warmongers”
- I think he is looking for an excuse to lift sanctions on Russia.
- I fear you will be proved right.

It's getting harder and harder to tell Onion stories from reality.
- That one is 100% real.
  
  You know what would be really spooky?
  If Vance came back from Munich with an agreement to settle the Ukrainian question with Putin and declared peace for our time...

I'm sorry. You posted this in the wrong community. THIS one is supposed to be satire.

This is why Russia bought the presidency, right? I really don't get why people are still pretending this is news.
- ...he's been a known russian asset for decades, openly broadcasting it to the world for at least nine years, and a plurality of the electorate are totally fine with that...

As part of the deal, Kyiv has been renamed “Trump City, Russia” in what Trump called a “tremendous concession on the part of Vladimir Putin and the people of Russia.”
- In addition, it has been reported that Trump ordered the construction of a tower in his name: "It's going to be the biggest tower in ~~Ukraine~~ Trump City, maybe ever. Nobody builds towers bigger than me!"

No surprise there.

I wonder if he thinks he can also ignore basic contract law on the international scale? Or is he maybe planning to send US troops to assist the Russians when the Ukrainians refuse to recognise his genius.
- I'm sure he's prepared to promise anything to make his deal come through, but abandon those promises immediately afterwards.
  
  That's how promises work, in his mind
- This is how the orange man will stave off WW3, by uniting American and Russian troops against a common enemy!
- "When religion and politics travel in the same cart the riders believe themselves to be unstoppable"

23 comments