This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/nosleep by /u/Verliezero on 2025-01-30 15:14:18+00:00.

First part

This update will be short, as James will be home soon. I've let a week pass now. I don't know if that was the right choice, but it's not like I can go back now. I've read through some suggestions as well, but nothing has seemed to work. Initially, I thought that silver would be a good test, but both of our wedding rings are sterling silver, and he's not taken his off at all. He doesn’t flinch when I touch him. Actually, he acts like I’m starving him if I’m not touching him. He has a reflection in the mirror. His eyes still don’t leave me. Never. They’re watching me. Through the walls, I can feel them. Even when I go to work. Even when he goes to work. I think he knows. I think he knows that I know. 

I tiptoe around the house now. It’s useless. He always finds me. I think I could fly across the damn country, turn around, and find him a foot or two away from me. I want my husband back. With all of his flaws and stupid opinions and our arguments. I don’t even know if he’s still my husband anymore. I’ve never walked so lightly around my own home. 

He still goes to the kitchen, but I don’t follow him. I don’t know what he’ll do if I do. No, no I don’t follow him. I lay in bed. I watch the light dance on our ceiling. Sometimes, I think I hear distant laughter, but I know our daughter is sound asleep in the other room. It bubbles up and spills onto my face. It burns. God, it burns so badly. I feel like I can’t see. The smoke from it fogs up my glasses and then I can’t see. 

I thought that losing him would be the worst part of all this, but now I think having him back is even worse. I hate to say it, but I almost wish he had died back there. I now realize that it still wouldn’t have been my fault. This imposter isn’t my husband. My husband doesn’t treat me this way. He never has. Not until now, and now that he’s finally giving me the love I’ve been fighting for I can’t stand it. I don’t want any of it! I just want the real James back. At this point I think I would trade myself for him. At least then our daughter would have one of her fathers in his right state of mind. 

James has stopped cooking too. I didn’t even notice until that night in the kitchen, but that’s the only time he’s ever in there when he’s not wrapped around me. I still don’t know what he’s doing in there. I don’t want to find out. Maybe if I’m lucky he’ll fuck up whatever he’s cooking and poison himself and this whole fucking mess will be over. 

That brings me to where I’m at now. 

I’ve seen the comments, I know there’s probably some better way to take care of this, but I’m lost. Nothing has seemed to work. Not iron, not garlic, not silver. Not any of the shit they say will protect you. I’m going to burn sage in our apartment the next time he leaves and if the fraud chokes on the smoke and finally gets out of here I’ll be better off for it. If nothing else, I still have one more idea. I don’t want it to get to that point, though. I don’t know that I could live with myself if I did it. Plus what would our daughter think? I don’t want to put that weight on her. 

I’ve finally managed to get the shower to myself. He still sits outside and scratches at the door. You can even see where he’s peeled off the paint. The wood underneath has such a pretty pattern. Wood grain is one of my favourites, I think. The way it just swirls around there is so nice. I think I could just trace my fingers over it over and over and over again right there on the floor. All I can do now is curl my hands together and dig my fingernails into my own skin to prove that I’m real. I’m the human one here. I’m going to put things back the way they’re meant to be. 

I hate the conclusion I’ve come to, but what choice do I have? Really? He’s left me with nothing. Absolutely. Nothing. 

I worry that I’ve already come to my conclusion. I can’t stand it anymore. I just can’t. I need him gone. I need to protect our daughter. I don’t think I could live with myself if anything happened to her. 

When I look at my hands, all I can see is red. I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to protect my family. I keep standing over the sink washing my hands trying to get the fucking red off, but it stares as me just a soullessly as my husband does and I don’t know what there’s left for me to do but finally get rid of him! I will return with another update eventually, but for now just please. Please don’t let me do this.