I’ve been on the internet long enough I can have the entire argument with myself at this point. I’ve taken to just posting what I want and forgetting about it. They can’t all be bangers.
I just deleted four paragraphs about Batman and the ethics of murder because I realized I didn't actually want to argue with anyone, I was just soapboxing. And it would definitely start an argument.
Find myself reiterating something that was already said. Arguing a point nobody cares about. Entering a discussion that I know will not go my way regardless of what info I provide, because even Lemmy has a Hive Mind sometimes and doesn’t like dissent. Realizing half way through writing it that I don’t really know enough about the subject and should just shut up. Or maybe I just think my comment won’t offer anything that contributes to the discussion.
Often but not as often as I used to on Reddit. On Lemmy, I do feel more of a sense that I can contribute to the conversation and hopefully will be met with more respect than the other place.
We’re building the kind of community we want. I want to be interacting with engaged and respectful people, so I’m trying to be the same. Feels like more ownership, Yknow?
A lot. I start typing then stop, physically remove my hands from the keyboard and remind myself that A) arguing on the internet never convinced anyone of anything and B) it will make me feel worse, not better.
All the time. I just did it right now because I don't want to fight about what I was going to say. Sigh.
Tl;Dr lemmy isn't that different than reddit... still lots of jerks.
I guess most see it as a bad thing. As waste, or resignation. But here's the good story!
It can be a fruitful inner dialogue. While writing the comment, you engage with the topic, which changes your mind. That's a healthy and good thing! If in the end, your result is "I'd rather not post that, because ...", then this reason is the insight you gained by writing that comment.
Sometimes I realize flaws in my reasoning this way. And I'm happy to catch them! Imagine if it was not asynchronous written conversation, but real time face to face.
Of course there are many reasons to delete a draft. If it's mostly insecurity, I'd encourage people to give it a try. Experiences are what bring you forward, and if it's only to learn what not to repeat in the future.
Very often, and it doesn't help that my replies tend to be absurdly long
Towards the end, I either realize that what I want to say has already been said by someone, the argument isn't worth it (like you said), or what's on my mind really isn't worth bothering other people over.
I often will do this. At the end of writing a comment I ask myself "is my desire to comment satisfied by writing this comment, is it more about me writing it than other people reading it, is the response to the comment more likely to bring bain than joy?" The answers often lead me to just closing the comment page rather than posting it, and I feel fine about that.
Sometimes I can be pretty mean and stubborn in real life, so I actively try to not bring that here.
I gave up on Internet arguments a while back, felt like I was getting too old. Most of us are grown ups here, so we should all act like grown ups here.
Lurker here, wanted to chime in to say yeah, all the time. Everything's usually been said or will be said, so why bother. And arguing with strangers online rarely amounts to anything constructive. It seems a lot of people just aren't open to change or have their opinion/biases changed or challenged, though I'm hoping I'm wrong!
Not worth the stress. I mostly only post now if my comment is helpful (like someone is asking a question and I know the answer) or I'm posting something positive. I learned not to get into it with folks. I do not post in political or news or opinionated areas, and mostly stopped reading them. Someone always has the opposite opinion, and instead of being kind about it, they snipe and snark (you're lucky if you get just that!)
I find it more common to do this for replies to my comments. I'm far more likely to post a first comment in a thread, but if someone has some disagreeing reply, the odds I'll say "fuck it, I don't care" is a lot, lot higher.
Most of the time while I'm writing a reply or comment it I think about how it benefits the user I'm responding to/what reponses I will get and how to minimize any confusion. Once those thoughts have entered my mind, I rarely click the button to post it.
I almost always post the reply. But, if it's "not worth it" I just put in very, very low effort. Keep responding, but make it clear you're putting in very little effort. Like letting a boxer punch themselves out. Just laugh at how they keep going. It's pretty entertaining sometimes.
About 25% of the time I will start writing a comment only to find that I don’t think my argument is compelling enough, or otherwise is not something I feel makes a good point.
Mostly I type the way I speak, which tends to ramble a lot. One time forever ago someone on Reddit gave me shit and asked if I was not a native English speaker (aw, I sure do miss reddit!). Since then, I largely delete my comments because I'm sensitive about sounding wrong/stupid.
like 60% of time, sometimes because I think 'Maybe I'm wrong' sometimes because I think 'If I start an argument I'll have to reply or else It's gonna be a lame start by me', so If I reply I must reply, and I'm lazy so I end up thinking I better keep my word to myself.
A lot. I’m self-aware enough to know that I have a huge hangup about “correctness” and “accuracy”. If someone makes claims, I want to see their evidence and I want to know how their evidence supports their claim. Unfortunately, with some people, they don’t understand what evidence is, they don’t care if other evidence disproves what they’re saying, and nothing I ask or say will suddenly cause them to respond in good faith. In those cases, but not all, I just drop it and delete my comments. It happens all the time and it’s always worth it.
It is usually not worth the argument if your goal is to persuade the person you are arguing with but it could be useful for persuading others that arent directly involved. If others have already taken a baseball bat to this person's argument or worst case scenario, it turns out the comment section very thoroughly agrees with them and shows no signs that they can be reasoned with, I won't bother.
A lot. I more conservative and vote Republican, so you can imagine the shit I have to read every day on Lemmy and Reddit...it's like a 24/7 hate fest for the Right. So, when I start to respond to something negative about Republicans..I just say forget...I'll just be down voted to hell, banned, cussed at...etc...