Memes @lemmy.ml

1y ago

wait, it's all written down somewhere....

111 comments

"We increase the disk/ram consumption, reinstalled edge for you (you can't scape) and added a few ads somewhere. Have fun!"

Linux updates: here's the whole new desktop, GUI, appstore, start menu analog, and you can now summon a demon to do your bidding (no gui yet, you have to use the terminal until next update)
- Linux update: Changes little number in neofetch
  
  also breaks every possible driver
  but hey, you can do them without a full restart most of the time :)
- you can now summon a ~~demon~~ daemon to do your bidding
  
  But only if you fork it twice

The new update was candy crush! You uninstalled it before, but we think you were mistaken.
- We saw you uninstalled candy crush. We fixed that for you.

1 small security fix and 10 more spying software
- Only 10? They're being gentle this time.
  What major feature is bring removed next update?
  
  They lubed us up first.
- and a partridge in a pear tree

It just wanted to try to trick you into making edge your default browser and setting up a Microsoft account again
- sounds about right

There was actually a pretty big security problem in libwebp recently that likely led to some updates. Trust me, you'd want that patched.
- Holy hell, that one's a punch in the gut. Google, as usual, fumbling around.

More surveillance and telemetry 😊

Windows: Runs update 20+ minutes on shutdown and 20+ minutes on next startup, requiring multiple reboots: nothing has changed.
Linux: Runs update for 5-10 minutes when you want it to update, changes basically the whole OS and adds a metric shit-ton of features and doesn't even care if you reboot or not.
- Longest update for me was ~5 minutes in W10, mostly new definitions for the Defender and security patches. You can consult the property of the updates in the M$ page and also undo the last update, if you want. Memes of Windows are nice, but this one was valid 15 years ago, back then it was true that you could die in an update, but not now.
  
  On powerful PC's, yeah, my home PC is a rather powerful one and it would take me around a couple minutes to update.
  However, I remember two years ago having to use Windows 10 on a school PC (which was a crappy thinkpad) and it took around 1.5 hours to update after I did the mistake of arriving too early and deciding to update the laptop as "might as well, got nothing better to do", then not being able to do anything for 1 hour.
  Though admittedly, the laptop wasn't updated for a while (guessing around half a year?) so it probably was catching up to updates.
  
  Can I forward our users to you when they want to work and need to wait 30-40 minutes before the stupid Windows update has completed?
  
  My home PC updates like that, but our work PCs take forever, and Windows pushes an update almost every week. It can actually take over an hour to apply an update at times.
  I don't think anyone says it breaks things -- it's just glacially slow with no meaningful change. Sometimes, it changes for the worse, like the time I had to delete an unwanted desktop shortcut to Edge on every PC.
  
  Idk, it still takes Windows 10 much longer than I'd expect on my system. I wish it only took 5 minutes
- You forgot that they installed the Linux preacher assholeware in secret.

"performance and stability improvements" 🙄
- Ah yes, the usual "we won't tell you".
  
  Every Windows update is well documented and easily found online.
- It's actually pretty important security stuff.
  Wanna see what happens when security updates get neglected? Look no further than what happened to apple devices with the Pegasus virus.

Right click the update icon, select whatever option takesyou to the settings screen, on the right-hand side you'll find a link for changes in each update. It's not transparent, but it is available.
- It's also to a large degree security updates which are important as hell.
  Just look at apple to see what happens when security updates get neglected. Newest apple phone actually had a security exploit that allowed people to upload viruses to your device without you ever having to interact with the virus.
  Pegasus was the name of the virus
  
  pegasus didn't use just one exploit , it's a huge collection of zero-days
  
  Pegasus is a Spyware used by governments to spy on "criminals" phones.

The only thing that I can tell happens every update is that I have to tell my start bar, yet again, to show all program icons instead of hiding them. Individually. Oh, and Skype occasionally decides it's important at startup again.
Almost forgot! My computer also randomly forgets how to sleep until updated.
- Shit, I thought I was the only one whose computer has forgotten how to sleep. I ended up reinstalling the whole thing to get it to sleep. I don't have the mental capacity to troubleshoot my computer to find the root issue after dealing with dumbass clients and my toddler.
  
  When I had a surface, windows hello and my pen would just stop working if an update was pending. Windows is always fun in this regard.

The update isn't important. Being under the Totally Trustworthy™ umbrella of Microsoft is what's important. You don't need to see behind the curtain.
- Honestly, that what businesses want because it checks off a box in their cyber insurance application. They don't care as long as their ass is covered.

It just reinstalled Edge, put a shortcut for it on your desktop and start menu, made it your default browser and migrated all your cookies and login info to Edge (for ad and tracking purposes) before uninstalling said browsers.
No big deal, bro
- That has literally never happened to me on Windows
  
  Well if course I'm over exaggerating, but Windows does love to reinstall Edge no matter how many times I remove it

New telemetry and advertising pop-ups.

You can read the patch notes if you want to see what's in the update just like linux.
- Patch notes: Bug fixes and stability improvements
  Patch size: 17.3 GB

More like "what broke?"

Can I interest you in Linux?
- I am already interested. My next laptop will b a Linux.
  
  Are you aware that you can already dual-boot it? So you can install it parallel to your Windows install and use both
- Linux has my interest when I don't have to jump through 50 hoops to use something as basic as the Paint.net program.
  
  What do you do that you need paint.net specifically?
  Genuine question, it's been a long time since I've used it, so I'm not very up to date on what it can do
  
  undefined
  
  sudo apt install krita
  One hoop

big Sept 26 Windows 11 update, does not have Taskbar never compress option. So sad, the only thing I want is still missing.
- In completely puzzled, why would they not have that feature? Also why is everything centered in the middle of the task bar now by default? Microsoft sure makes weird UI decisions.
  
  Apple
  
  Just to make it different enough to make consumers think that they're getting some big new OS. See the right click menu changes for another example.

The only reason I click on "what's new" is to get rid of the notification. There are exactly two programs where I care and I appreciate all the other programs shutting up.

Linux: "Yes"
- Linux: its gone now
  
  "Grub cannot find MBR of Microsoft Windows" -meh, don't care.

Cool, then you can do what every linux user is doing, reinstall it!

Do a diff, find all the one days!

Up there with don't do anything we're going to find a fix never found a fix in 30 years

sigh
Literally just a Wikipedia page.
Windows 11: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Windows_11_version_history
Windows 10: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Windows_10_version_history
Are you guys even trying?
- Version 22H2 (2022 Update)
  The Windows 11 2022 Update[89] (also known as version 22H2[90][91] and codenamed "Sun Valley 2") is the first and current major update to Windows 11. It carries the build number 10.0.22621. The first preview was released to Insiders who opted in to the Dev Channel on September 2, 2021.[92] The update began rolling out on September 20, 2022. Notable changes in the 2022 Update include:[93]
  Redesigned and new Efficiency mode feature in Task Manager
  Re-added the drag and drop feature on the taskbar
  Improvement to the snap layout experience
  New live captions feature
  New Smart App Control (SAC) feature for blocking untrusted applications
  Split "Focus assist" feature into "Do not disturb" and "Focus"
  Included Clipchamp as inbox app
  The first component update to Windows 11, version 22H2, codenamed "Moment 1",[94] was released on October 18, 2022 with build 22621.675 and several further changes:[95]
  New tabbed browsing feature and refreshed layout of the left navigation pane in the File Explorer
  New inline suggested actions feature
  Re-introduced taskbar overflow feature
  Improvements to the built-in Windows share window
  The second component update to Windows 11, version 22H2, codenamed "Moment 2,"[96] was released on February 28, 2023 with build 22621.1344 and several further changes:[97]
  Added iOS support in the Phone Link app
  New Studio Effects section in the Quick Settings for NPU-compatible devices
  Redesigned Quick Assist app
  Added third-party apps support in the Widgets panel
  Re-introduced tablet-optimized taskbar
  Added support for tabs in the Notepad app
  New Braille displays and input/output languages support in Narrator
  New Energy Recommendations page in the Settings app
  Updated touch keyboard option in the Settings app
  New Tamil Anjal keyboard
  Re-introduced the search box on the taskbar
  The third component update to Windows 11, version 22H2, codenamed "Moment 3",[98] was released on May 24, 2023 with build 22621.1778 and several further changes:[99][100]
  New presence sensor privacy settings in the Settings app
  New VPN icon on the taskbar
  Added the ability to show a notification badge on the Start menu's user profile icon
  Introduced live captions in more languages
  Added the ability to create live kernel memory dumps in Task Manager
  Introduced Content Adaptive Brightness Control (CABC) to desktop computers and battery powered devices
  New copy button for copying two-factor authentication codes in notification toasts
  New USB4 hubs and devices page in the Settings app
  Re-introduced the new touch keyboard option in the Settings app
  New multi-app kiosk mode
  Re-introduced the ability to display seconds in the system clock on the taskbar
  Adds support for Bluetooth LE Audio and the LC3 codec
  The fourth component update to Windows 11, version 22H2, codenamed "Moment 4",[101] was released on September 26, 2023 with build 22621.2361 and several further changes:[102][103]
  The availability of Copilot in Windows (in preview)
  New preview flyout when hovering over files under the Recommended section on the Start menu
  New volume mixer experience in Quick Settings
  Re-introduced the ability to never combine taskbar buttons
  Added the ability to hide the time and date in the system tray
  Updated notification bell icon in the system tray on the taskbar
  Modernized Details pane, Home page, address bar and search box in the File Explorer
  New Gallery feature in File Explorer
  Added the native support of additional archive file formats (7z, rar, tar)
  New Windows Backup app
  New screen for restoring from backup during the OOBE
  Improvements to backup and restore experience for desktop apps
  Added support of Unicode Emoji 15
  Added the support of COLRv1 color format
  New Narrator natural voices in Simplified Chinese, Spanish (Spain and Mexico), Japanese, English (United Kingdom and India), French, Portuguese, German and Korean
  New text authoring experiences in voice access
  New Home page in the Settings app
  Redesigned Windows Security notification dialogs
  As of build 22567, the version string has been changed from "Dev" to "22H2".

Disable windows update, windows update and Microsoft store updates

111 comments