1mo ago

master manipulators

Non-Political Memes @lemmy.ml

hydration9806 @lemmy.ml

1mo ago

master manipulators

158 1

177 comments

People always say they look cute and yea sure,
But did y'all forget the fact that they can literally get rid of all your mice problems?
I got a cat because for companionship and one month later, all those filthy mice are gone.
Being soft and warm to pet, and the beautiful meows, are just the cherry on top of their lovely companionship.
- They rarely need to in the city, also those that weren't taught by other cats most of the time won't kill the mouse just torture it or scare.
  
  Well, whatever my cat did, the mice are gone so... 🤷‍♂️
  I did see a few dead mice around the first 2 months, now no sight of mice.
  
  I feel like depends on the cat. I found mine as a list kitten that we assumed got outside and then was starving and almost dead. He's always been N indoor cat. Had never seen a mouse in the 8 years he was alive. I go out of town for a day and night and come back to a decapitated mouse in the apt. Fool took care of shit without even knowing. Then years later, we move into a house and a mouse gets in some how. My cat finds the mouse, kills it, walks around with it, then drops it in the hallway for us to clean up. If he had been taught how to catch mice when he was a kitten, I he wouldn't have been starving to death. But when a mouse showed up, he knew exactly what to do.
- They -can- do that yes. Whether or not they will choose to, however, is anyone’s guess.
  
  They will have a joyous time with it. And you might find eviscerated mice under your couch one day. But my two dumbass fur balls just thought they were awesome toys.
  Never figured out quite when they stopped coming in. The only really humane way to kill em is snap traps. I probably went through a couple dozen of them before they stopped showing up.
  I was against using poisoned food traps because the last thing I wanted was my cat consuming a poisoned mouse. But, since our whole neighborhood had a problem with the mice, I wouldn't be too surprised if a neighbor did it.
  
  Even if you have a lazy cat, mice have since learned to avoid the smell of cat pheromones. So just having a fat furball laying around will make it more likely the local mice go bother your neighbor instead.
- Mine can catch 2 mice at the same time. And also wasps, centipedes, lizards, pigeons, etc.
  
  I was hoping my cat can get rid of the roaches too but her paws aren't very effective at that, and theres just wayyy to many. 😕 Welp, at least my cat has some ~~roach~~ toys to squish (or at least, try to).
- How do you have so many mice?
  Sounds like your apartment smells like leftovers; we had mice sometimes until we started to do dishes religiously and take out trash religiously. Or well, about as frequently as our parents do it.

Oh sure, when the cat walks into a house and wants to live there, they're all "omg it's so cute" and "let's go buy it food and a bed", but when I do it, they're all "who the hell are you?" and "leave or I'm calling the cops" :(
- Have you tried meowing at them?
  
  don't do this. it only made things escalate in my experience

Humans are just exceptionally weak to cute. If aliens ever show up and try to conquer us, we're going to be so screwed if they happen to be adorable.
- Speak for yourself, I hope the furry aliens make me their pet.
  
  Well, I guess you're getting screwed anyways
  
  (Source: SMBC)
  
  I would love the life of a house pet as long as I can play video games instead of sleeping all the time.
  We just collectively need to convince our new overlords that it’s enrichment and just let me keep it I already have it, and I’ll be totally friendly and compliant whenever you want, I can pause, it’s cool.
  
  It's all fun and games until de-worming time.
  
  What's great is when they show up and become furry because they decide that furries have devised the best possible social system in the cosmos
  
  🥺
- Even if they were horrors beyond our comprehension, a whole lot of people would be still be very sexually aggressive towards them.
  
  Honestly that may be what saves us. They try to manipulate us by being cute, we weird them out by being horny.
- There's a Philip K Dick short story about this, "The war with the Fnools"
- If aliens turn up and they're like "Give me snacks. And a fluffy bed." I think we'd be like "...aight."
- Aww nibbler
- "ca wi go see de wokets humie? wi wana see de big ones fly hiiiiigh"
- Too Cute crisis is about aliens coming to destroy earth but learn there are cats.

I never liked cats at all and one did exactly that. Stupid fuck make me fall absolutely in love with it too.
- Get another one from the shelter! They have much richer lives if they have another cat to interact with, even if they don't like each other.
  Plus having two cats is getting yourself twice the cute and love for very little extra work.
  Edit - doesn't this look great?
  
  Be careful, it looks like they're trying to merge and create a Cat King in that first picture!
  
  Are they paying you or something??

As of about three weeks ago a stray cat figured out how to use our doggie door.
Now we have a 2nd cat.
- Covert cat distribution network, working as intended.
  In my opinion cats should never be kept as singles. They need social interaction with another cat, even if they don't like each other. It's not as bad as guinea pigs who will literally die from depression if kept alone, but it's similar.
  
  New cat is totally cool with OG cat. OG cat fucking hates the new cat.
  
  I wouldn't say "never" because, for me, it's better to shelter them instead of leaving them outside. But yeah, ideally at least two cats. I've only had two cats, both stray, the first one tried to play with our feet when he was the only one in home as he plays with the second now.

The fact that only two creature in this world that will approach another creature 10 times bigger than them just so they get adopted is pretty impressive. That's how i adopted my 4th cat, little baby dude just came out from under a car and yell at me until i pick him up.
- What's the other kind of creature? Dogs?
  
  Yep.
- My (future) cat jumped up on my car when I parked! Almost named her Engine...

That makes it sound like the cat domesticated humanity not "The cat self domesticated itself"
- in reality it sure as fuck seems like humanity domesticated humanity, we have a lot of domesticated features like neotony (we look strikingly like chimpanzee children) and we're arguably the most ludicrously social species on earth.
  the ironic thing is that cats aren't really very domesticated, they're inherently a social animal and happen to just sorta fit with how humans work.
  
  Note though, that neoteny is a disputed theory and (if at all) only part of human evolution.
  Sad that the Wikipedia article is a mess now.
  
  I mean that sounds more like those are just traits we have and we made domesticated animals have similar traits to out own since presumably that makes us get along better.

They are funny, don't really need a lot of space and training, and look pretty. Ofc I will go and by whatever.

Lost opportunity to say "I live here meow"

I keep meowing at hot guys at the bar and none have taken me home yet 😭
- Meow at the moderately acceptably good (minus minus) looking and you may have some luck... but please don't get offended if we start pspspspsing you, it's just a reflex
- Did you try letting them scratch under your collar?
- Works better on girls.
  
  I'm gay
  
  Can confirm, purring is a sure way I can get attention from my gf

Did cats domesticate humans, or did Toxoplasma gondii domesticate both of us?
- Nope. Almost wish I had that because fuck that smell!

They don't even meow to each other, just to humans. They know what they are about.
- No, they do sometimes. Some meow in greeting to each other, as seen on cat cams.
- they do sometimes do really low meows to intimidate other cats

When I was a kid Mr Kitty unilaterally moved in despite belonging to the neighbors across the street and the stern objections of my father armed with a squirt gun.

I did my best to take a cat home today when I was at the local landfill. I don't even have space for another cat, it's just freezing here and he looked extra pathetic. He decided the dumpster was safer and u honestly can't blame him xD
- There's been a little baby girl coming around here, underweight, some kind of skin problem. She has always been an outside cat and belonged to my neighbor who died. My wife says we already have four so we can't bring a street cat in that's going to fight them.
  She's right, but sometimes little girl comes up when I'm smoking and gets warm laying in my lap and I want to keep her so much.

Even with toys they are invading our space
https://i.vgy.me/Xb93ue.gif
- Once they figure out email and posting on social media we're really screwed.
  
  As you see, it is on the way

I went to disagree untill I remembered there's a ginger cat that lives on my property that I feed sometimes
- please don't feed it unless you know for sure it's homeless (there are paper bands you can hang around their necks on which you can put your info so that the owner can call you if it's their cat). if the cat has a owner then you're making the cat too fat, probably buying the wrong food which will give it liver disease, and being fed 2 different foods can cause bowel problems. Please stop.
  
  If the cat has an owner, that owner is letting them outside knowing the risks of eating what the cat isn't supposed to, as well as killing what it isn't supposed to.
  
  Imma feed him when he comes in and screams at me everytime because I like him and he's cool.
  
  Isn't it weird how some people care more about cats than people or, often, themselves?

I love all cats, and they are free to walk inside anytime they want. Just no fighting in the house.

The cat that walked into my house and said "I live here meow."

Cats never domesticated themself, since ever they are specialists in domesticate humans, for commodity, not for need.
- Spot on. Cats are the OG scientists who stuck around to see what they could make us do after they discovered monkeys gave good tummy rubs.
  Yadda-yadda, we industrialize food production and build awesome cozy dens to live in, yadda-yadda, they're watching us burn the world like, "fascinating... now, can I make the monkey give me treats 2 minutes earlier than this time last week..."
  Only reason they don't have us outright worshipping them is we tried it once or twice, but things got weird.

"Everybody wants to talk about X, nobody wants to talk about Y".
That's not gaslighting, that's whataboutism.
- I think it's more along the lines of cats gaslighting humans to care for them....that's where I grew the comparison.
  
  That isn't what gaslighting is, though. Gaslighting isn't simply emotional manipulation; it's a specific kind.

Is anyone else bothered by people saying their cat is lost? -No; it left a toxic relationship! "They stole my cat" -Nah, it moved out!
- Or something got to it. Pretty sure that's what happened to our outside childhood cat. Miss ya up there, Rover.

So cats are successful squatters?

Cats after entering a human stranger's house: Look at me. I'm the meowner now.
Humans: Yes, oh cute one!
- The ho-meow-ner, at that.

Yeah but we chop their balls off soon after. I don't think it works out evolutionarily.
- Their many siblings in the wild shall provide the young

Gaslighting is so last year. We need new slang - fenceposting, backyarding, BarneyRubbling.

Cats are the perfect human parasite.

Lmao aint no cat just moonwalking into my house and claiming part of my budget automatically. To the pound with you!!!

People always think aliens would want to kill us, but they would rather make us their slaves.

Chinese people are right
- Context?

Can't relate

Yeah in 4legged furballs its cute. In 2legged douchebags its not.
- Unless the two legged douchebag is a crow. Which, it still isn't cute, but you would want to pretend it is

Your PFP is blank

The whole world is lit by gaslight. Gaslight people into buying gas cars, gaslight people into overpaying for a house by hundreds of thousands of dollars, gaslight you into a kamala vs trump fake fight. First world women gas lighting that they are real people, not literal walking talking personality disorders that the created themselves. At least the cats give affection.
- Sir, this is a Wendy's.
- Have you considered trying out therapy? It takes some time to find a good person, and there's a lot of wooo people out there, but some are good.

177 comments