Building up courage to start the HRT journey

going on HRT was the single best decision I ever made in life. I felt like I spent my entire life suffocating and only after doing E for several weeks did I ever learn what it's like to breathe. The physical changes take years to get you to where you want to be but the mental changes happen very quickly and they're life changing

Took a long ass time to get going physically but mentally it basically obliterated my depression and SI and made me highly productive and motivated to destroy capitalism and help other trans people out. It took me about 2ish years of hrt to pass without effort, and frankly my family at large were very clueless about it. Some of my cousins thought I was their niece at a get together and called me by her name. My minority stress / anxiety is through the roof now though and I'm trying to find better ways to mitigate it

I've been on hrt for 10+ years at this point I'm probably the longest medically transitioned person on here. There's a lot of small changes that you don't expect as you get older, you age like a woman on e and accrue all sorts of small tells. Its nice to see myself age.

I started in my 30s. I’m a few years in and HRT has done a lot for me. My anxiety and panic lessened significantly. I’m no longer constantly depressed. I’m visibly happier. And now, I feel more comfortable with my body than ever before. Life is seriously better than it’s ever been and it’s not even close. Even though I’m not too long after being divorced, I’m still happy as all hell, because I’m finally me. And that’s what you can expect. A serene feeling of happiness of finally being you. It might take time, but it is so worth it.

So I transitioned late in life. When I made the decision to do so, I didn’t want to wait any longer, so I ordered DIY in the mail and got it within a little over a week and starting injecting. Historically I have a strong fear of needles, but I forced myself to overcome it for this, and honestly it wasn’t that difficult, the changes have been fantastic. My mood has improved dramatically, I no longer have strong body odor, my skin has more glow to it, and overall I feel younger and happier than I ever did before.

A few weeks in I did start getting strong boob pain, followed by some noticeable boob growth. Other than that, being on HRT has more or less helped to turn my life around, and I would absolutely recommend anyone thinking about it to try it out.

I remember brushing my arm offhandedly while on the pc a couple of days after starting, and my skin was so smooth, I legit cried because it was my first gender euphoria hit. I still remember it fondly

I don't think there's much to be scared of. It's not like it's a magical day and night transition, so to speak, at least not for many people - and I think for those for whom it is it's largely a psychosomatic thing. Which isn't to downplay those effects - deciding to transition is a massive step forwards and has a revelatory effect on oneself, so it can feel like being an entirely new person, a fog lifting, etc. But for the most part, you just kind of keep on living, day by day, only every day your body is a bit more the way you want it to be.

If you're worried about social repercussions, cis people are incredibly ignorant and the changes are slow enough that nobody will notice. Even breasts are surprisingly easy for them to ignore. And most effects of HRT are reversible if you stop (even your breasts will shrink, as they do for trans mascs on T).

This isn't a very glamorous take, but that's my perspective as someone who started self-medding over eight years ago now (jesus fucking christ). My _transition has long since just become normal, day to day life to me. Though I think there's a sort of mysticism to that, too. Not the glamor and excitement of being early in transition and expecting massive changes - though I did just earlier this year start experimenting again to successfully increase my breast size, so there's always room to mix it up - but rather being able to look back and realize that this is your life now, and seeing how much you've changed from the person you once were. Every day you're building new memories for yourself, and once you've bitten the bullet and taken the steps you need to take, each of those new memories is a small victory in and of itself.

You are allowed to do what you want with your body. You are allowed to live for you. You are allowed to undergo horomone replacement therapy. It is going to be one of the most wonderful things you'll ever do, and you'll be doing it for yourself.

You'll thank yourself later for starting now, the bodily changes come slowly but the psychological effects can be felt as soon as a week after starting. When I began spiro in my early 20s it felt like something else had gone and I could think clearly for the first time since I was a child. Estrogen came later and added an element of emotional depth that I didn't know I was missing. A lot of the others claim similar things.

Regarding insurance: most will cover it and if you get your perscription through a Planned Parenthood or other gender affirming care clinic they absolutely will advocate for you to the insurance company. Worst comes to worst, in the grand scheme of things estrogen and spiro tend to be pretty cheap in terms of drugs so the worst case scenario isn't that bad all things considered.

You are a stranger to me, but I am very excited for you and wish you the best of luck on this journey. There is one more thing I like to tell people when they're starting out. It really does progress at a glacial pace. It's frustrating, especially in the first year or so, really frustrating. Your body will change little by little and at times it's going to feel like nothing is changing. One day, out of nowhere, you will look in the mirror, you'll see her for the first time and she'll be smiling back at you. It's going to happen, I promise.

I'm five months in and the happiest I have ever been.

My stink changed, that's one i wasn't prepared for. The new female smell is tangier.

My skin is soooo soft now I love it so much.

The breasts are lovely and my ass and hips are starting to swell (squats rule)

i feel really nice every day. I love being soft. I love jewelry and painted nails and skirts and bras and perfume.

I fucking love being a woman best decision I ever made.

Good luck to you I hope you find what you're looking for!!!!

5 days in. I'm just more cold. Still depressed and panicky, HRT can't fix the reason/source of this for me though... I'm happy I'm doing this for myself, but my situation is really complicated and I'll likely have to stop.

I started in spring of 2019, and it was so amazing. Like others have said, it was like being able to breathe for the first time, a weight had been lifted, like I felt alive after decades of being walking dead. I felt connected to myself in a way I never had been before. Literally the best decision I ever made for myself. Life is worth living now.

Mental changes happen first. I was happier and bubblier. My introversion turns out to have been partly due to gender anxieties. Your sense of smell expands, colors seem to pop more and be vibrant. Keep in mind here that you'll be in puberty brain for the first few years. I was def acting like a teen for a while. You'll be sleepy, you'll be dealing with reconnecting with the full range of your emotions and that can be a rollercoaster sometimes. Your skin will get softer and fat cells will redistribute after a while. I first noticed it in my legs. I remember looking in the mirror one day momyhs into HRT and realizing hey those ... those look different, rounder, more feminine. I may or may not have but definitely did do a happy squee. You can have height changes, weight changes, even my fingernails became softer.

Why wait? You can take them for a few months (three or so I think) without permanent changes to your body, so if it isn't for you you can just stop.

What are you nervous about?

My mental health improved drastically and quickly. I still have problems. But allowing myself to be myself and live my life the way I like has made most of my problems more manageable. Even transphobia, because I was always scared of being viewed as too feminine when I was trying to pass myself off as cis. So, at least that problem is now nameable and visible.

Outside of that, I don't know what else to say. Physical changes will happen in their own time. And will be different for everyone. So it's hard to say what to expect. Likewise, health institutions are different and laws are different depending on where you live. In a trans friendly environment, it should only take informed consent. Which is just a health care provider going over expectations with you, potential side effects, etc. I was lucky to be in such an environment. So meds were accessible.

Probably the best decision I've ever made for my health and for my relationships. I'm way easier to get along with now and both my partner and I are much happier.

I'm bout 4 months in? I mostly just feel generally more comfortable so far, even despite there not being many big changes yet aside from breast development meaning they are very sensitive, and my skin is softer and hair grows in less after shaving

I'd suggest you try it! Actual "irreversible" (I hate that word, thanks Abigail Shrier!) physical changes won't happen for a couple of months, but you'll feel different, like, your emotions will hit different, pretty immediately (probably a week or two) and that will likely help you decide whether to stick with it.

I wasn't sure about hormones when I started. I wanted to stay on long enough for my voice to change (I'm transmasc, that's a thing that happens with T), but other than that I was very much like "eh" about all the rest of the physical changes. But once I started it was pretty clear that T is indeed the answer for me, I felt better, a lot better, in indefinable, hard to explain ways. And even the physical changes I was pretty apprehensive about (bottom growth?! facial hair?!), yeah, it turns out they're cool, I don't mind them in the least.

Long story short, hormones are good for me, and I only really truly understood that after taking the plunge and starting them. I suggest it. Give it a go. If it doesn't feel right after a week or two, then stop, that's fine, no harm done.

i think the biggest overall feeling is how much weight feels like it’s been lifted off of you. it’s probably all psychological but it feels like you wake up from something or like you’ve been pinned under a boulder your whole life and finally had it lifted. i’ve only felt alive as long as i’ve been on hrt. and i think this is why so many feel like they experience emotion deeper than before, a general numbness goes away and you feel more in tune with your own emotions.

as for actual physiological change, you can expect skin feeling softer over time and of course the pain in your chest with breast development. i feel like i noticed scents a lot more often and definitely feel temperature much more than i did.

it all seems so daunting at first, but it’s a journey laden with joy.

I'm about a month in and mostly just sleepier. It takes a while for things to start ramping up. The sooner you start the sooner you start being who you want to be.

It's called HRT but it's not gonna HuRT!

i didn't start hrt until well into my adulthood and well after i figured out i'm trans, and it was one of the best feelings i've had and the mental changes were almost immediate. after starting i did have a couple weeks of what i guess i'd call "brain fog" (which i'd get each time i'd up my dose :/ ), but after that i really felt at home in my body for the first time.

i had pretty severe problems with dissociation prior to starting hrt that are pretty much gone, and every feeling is much more vibrant and feels much more like Me. it's not something that eliminated my anxiety or depression, but it did make them addressable for the first time, and even feeling Bad in a body that feels like my own is preferable (at least for me) to feeling Good in a body that doesn't.

it's something i couldn't recommend more and i really hope you're able to start!

Nice! You got this!

whether hrt is a miracle or not seems to vary - for me it made my brain work better, it made a lot of stuff click, and I still get gender euphoria on shot day, six years in.

if it's not right for you, it won't hurt to try. If it is right for you, you'll find yourself laughing you ever had misgivings.

Just make sure you're doing it for yourself. I know this is weird but social pressures to get on hrt exist, and they shouldn't be heeded without asterisk