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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

HootinNHollerin @lemmy.world

8mo ago

Bird Bath

TIL lol

This is from a group chat I was in and a female friend asked the group

73 comments

- This is brilliant.
- This was the picture I posted
I like that this man stretches the balls first, and then makes a transaction with a bartender.
- And then poors the drink while holding the spread nut sack? Fucking talented fellow. A real catch.
wtf people
- Relax, take a bath.
  
  I'm very open minded person, I think other peoples lifes are not my business and they can do whatever they want... BUT sometimes the youth make me feel like my grandma when she heard we could kiss someone without dating them. This post made me an old person horrified with the youth culture lol
Why the straw though, what's wrong with lapping it up like a cat?
- I took it like she's tryna fuck but isn't that into the guy.
- She may end up with a dick in her eye.
  
  Well I don't want to end up with a straw in my butt!
My life would have been better not havimg suun diS
- Fella had a stroke right there
  
  He was monkey pawed out of existence as he typed
Is this for like a seniors club? Don't feel like this is really very feasible unless you are over 50.
- Ive always had more scrote than nut
  
  Then why isn't your name Scrotteman?
- Nah I've been able to hold a shot for awhile now and I'm not 50 yet.
I used to make these in the bathtub all the time as a kid.
Finally, something not depressing on Lemmy 🤝🏼
- Ain't love beautiful
That's nothing, how about the Slovakian Traffic Cone?
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Slovakian%20Traffic%20Cone
- large, preferably yellow
  lol
  reads the rest
  jfc I'm out
- That's enough internet for today. ಠ_ಠ
- That's a bit much, I'll stick to the Rusty Trombone
  
  Yeah but people actually do that, as opposed to the edgy preteen nonsense above
  
  For many years, my friends and I went to music festivals as The Rusty Trombone camp. We had a nice banner, people took photos of it. Unfortunately some asshole stole it one year when we weren't looking, and I don't have the patience to make another one. I'll post a picture if I find it.
- That's actually properly awful.
  
  Hey, I'll bring the cone if you bring the plunger. You know you wanna try it too. 👍
- (both holes work for girls, only the recum works for boys.)
  Stop chalenging them! It Sounds like some guys can use their uretra too
  
  recum
  
  Mouth
- That’s the basics of it, but there is also more “specific and specialized"
  I know what I'm doing my thesis on
you don't wanna hear about elephant shower
- Now I do
- Seconding the desire to know
Wouldn't this like... Hurt??
- I assume you don't have a scrotum to test for yourself, but oddly it wouldn't hurt at all.
  The balls are ultra sensitive, but for some reason the scrote itself just laughs in the face of danger. You can pinch the shit out of it and feel nothing. Just pinching random arm skin hurts a lot quicker than pinching the ol ballsack. And stretching? Forget about it. That's the thing's whole job.
  just keep the actual plumbing clear of the carnage
  
  I don't think they're asking about the stretching, but about having a puddle of alcohol on your scrotum. That was my first thought as well. Probably okay if it's wine, but not sure about something high proof.
- Maybe if you do it with a Bloody Mary because of the ~~tobacco~~ Tobasco sauce or have a cut on your nuts.
  
  "Tobacco Sauce". That's what I'll start calling my morning loogies.
Why does this need to be a thing? I know it is, but people, seriously. Get on with life.
- I'm not into that kind of club scene but they seem to be enjoying their lives. I approve.
Lemmy is full of the brightest armchair experts who know the correct path to change the world.
Lemmy is also this post and people commenting, “brilliant!”
:-(
I mean, considering teabagging is already a thing, is this really that bad? Probably less gross than naval shots. Nobody has a clean naval for long, and clubbing is done at the end of the day, and involves dancing and sweating.
The straw's weird though. Just lap it up.
- Drinking from a guys sweaty nuts? Thats def waaay geosser than navel shots
  
  It's only grosser because of the sexual context, I think. Just straight bacteria, crud, detritus, et cetera, naval grosses me out way more.
  All that said, I have gargled balls before (and enjoyed it), so probably not the most objective.
  Then again, I've also done naval and body shots off bartenders, so... 🤷‍♂️
  
  I dunno, honestly, I clean both daily and yet it's my navel that gets linty and full of chunks of dead skin far faster, can't imagine it's any less sweaty, either
  Then again I shave my balls with a straight razor every day like a real man (this is actually the test to prove manhood, sorry anyone who doesn't, I didn't make the rules) so maybe I'm picturing less gross balls because of that
Stray pubes are free of charge

73 comments