It snowed today, and bigly, so climate change? It's a hoax folks!

How can the planet be getting warmer if my fat ass is freezing and there's 5 inches of the wet stuff on the ground? Folks, the loony left, the big China Climate Hoax, it's all fake, we know it, you know it.

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I know a literal rocket scientist who refuses to understand this and it drives me up the fucking wall. You should know even better than I do that fluid (like the goddamn atmosphere) dynamics exist, fluids don't just heat up uniformly they turn into a huge mess of swirls and currents and new/misplaced weather patterns
Getting a new manager in who, while we were talking about how property owners post bullshit numbers to greenwash and that it will likely blow up in their faces, hit us with the ‘plants need CO2 so we can’t just remove it all, if anything we need more’. We were all in awe of the power of yer da thought at display.
Pennsylvania had 3 months without any rain but this is just NORMAL and these things happen you liberal dipshit
- we don't actually have any record of it happening, it's broken all records since 1800
  
  which is the time they started keeping records
- I can't tell if you're mad at me or what lol
  
  im mad at other peoble
"SELL THE HOUSES TO WHO AQUAMAN?"
Who are you going to believe the climate scientists conspiring to make $4 per hour in grants or the big oil companies making billions per day? The economy is objective evidence that God loves the oil companies more.
- You fail to address the fact that they're faking the data. The temperature data from NASA, from NOIAAAA, from China and Russia and from Bareilly in Uttar Pradesh, Palembang, Kinshasa, that random guy making his own records by standing outside with a $10 thermometer, they're all bought and paid for.
Higher levels of precipitation have nothing to do with a warming planet. How stupid do you have to be to think that?
Ugh. Yes, fine. You might recognize me as the resident Hexbear climate scientist, and well, now we can anll admit that it was all a hoax to trick SorosFootSoldier. The fun is over now everybody, we can all drop the act. He caught us.
Okay now I'm exhausted from shoveling. Wet snow can eat my ass, fuck a wet snow.
The haters and losers, they want me to believe my Mommy. I have the best mommy ever, people say to me "Donald, your mommy, she's amazing, like never seen before". They want me to believe Mommy is still there. She takes her hands. She takes her hands and put them in front of her face. Folks, I don’t see her—she’s gone! Disappeared! Peekaboo? Total scam. They say, ‘Oh, Donald, she’s right behind her hands.’ Fake China hoax! Let me tell you, more and more people are saying it, if you can’t see your mommy, she’s not there. Sad!

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