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The original was posted on /r/loveforboozecruisers by /u/eliasporter2 on 2024-11-11 19:46:45+00:00.

So I'm in a bit of a pickle. So recently I was unfairly given a "DUI" since apparently drinking 2 four lokos before driving is a crime. Anyways, I got my lawyer on it. Skip about a few days and I was behind my car again, a few drinks later doing a bit of booze cruising, listening to some songs, texting a few people while driving. So there i am listening to slow ride and this sobertard hops in front of my car while I was in the side walk/express lane.

Turns out that sober moron was my lawyer who's defending me. So on a scale of 1-10 how fucked am I? I'm panicking and chugging a lot of beer right now, and the shakes are not going away. If anyone could get me a keg and some advice that would be really helpful.