Pastor Dan Bongos, 47, of Newark's First Baptist Friends Of The Poor church is known on tiktok for "exorcising" demons out of gen z followers. He regularly teaches his male folk the danger of "twitch thotties" and hawks anti-soy pills that also double as radiation protection for nuclear war. But now he's on a new grift, looking for $1 billion in gofundme donations to buy the rights to the holy bible from the vatican and rewrite it so he can make it "based" and not "cringe".

"We're cutting out all that soy shit about loving your neighbor and all people being made in god's image, nah, f**k that" he went on "I'M writing the bible to make it good and fun to read, there's going to be racism and god killing the gays. It came to me in a dream. It had Tucker Carlson and God, both wanted me to do this to save the children" Mr. Bongos said from his truck, plastered in QAnon merchandise.