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Funnily enough we try to cultivate everything we like, so in a roundabout way they were successful.
- I think the book Sapiens makes the point that wheat has trained us into cultivating it for selfish needs.
  (Except that it's wheat, and that we annihilated 99% of its brethren to pick out the one that we liked so we could effectively clone it. But yes, we are the slaves...)
  
  Sapiens and Homo Deus are both such good books. Lots of little anecdotes like that we're just so fascinating.
- I think that’s basically what The Botany of Desire is about, right?
- I guess... If you consider factory farmed chickens to be "successful."

Nicotine, THC, and cocaine are also insecticides. And psilocybin might be an insect repellent.
Thanks poison!
- Drugs - natures mosquito repellant
  
  Mosquitoes are such squares!
  
  So that’s the reason I’m not stung as badly as my friends!
- Capsaicin is a fungicide, which is extremely useful in the environments where spicy peppers grow.

The best bit about the mint and chocolate thing is that chocolate is also poison, so we spice up our poison with more poison.

All valid Points. But also, humans: i will care for this plant and create huge fields where you can live prosper and in peace. We kill everything who comes near you and try to harm you. And we will ensure you will live forever. You dont need birds who shit your seeds out.
Those plants domesticared us!
- Also humans: we will breed you until your fruit no longer bears seed, because we decide when and how you reproduce
- Sidenote: monocultures are devastating, long-term.
- Botany of desire

Basically humans will have sex with you, eat you, or make you a pet.
Sometimes more than one.
- Don't forget we wear them also...

Tbf, this has proven to be extremely effective: Just think of how many tobacco or chili plants are grown today! Domestication really is a two-way-street
- Are we farming the plants or are the plants farming us.
- I do would like to be an alien's pet.

Would aliens actually be weirded out by this quality of humans?
I feel like any sufficiently intelligent species living on a planet will have some degree of biodiversity on said planet. And the chances of something being made to be a poison/deterrent for creatures other than the intelligent species is probably a large one, because it's pretty hard for plants and animals to make a poison/deterrent that kills everything without also killing itself. So if there is a gap for itself, there is a gap for other life to coexist with the toxin. And that's before accounting for the fact that something can be safe at low levels, provide benefits/stimulation/good feels at low levels, and toxic at high levels.
So I'd think it would be pretty natural for intelligent life to consume things that are harmful to huge swaths of other creatures.
- Works best with the Earth-is-a-deathworld trope
  
  Level 12 Deathworld.
- It is kinda weird that humans are so resilient to so many things though. It's part of being scavenging omnivores, but alients with a more specialized diet might be weirded out.
  
  Dogs can eat rotting meat and lick unwashed balls and ass but die from fucking grapes. 🤷🏼‍♂️
  
  Potentially. But think of it this way, there are somewhere around 400,000 plant species out there.
  https://news.mongabay.com/2016/05/many-plants-world-scientists-may-now-answer/
  Based on this list, something on the order of like 99.5% of plants are either not safe, or not useful/beneficial. If other species on our planet share a similar rate without complete overlap, then it's practically a guarantee that there will be thousands of plants that are safe and useful for us but not for other species. That doesn't feel particularly strange or unlikely. So even with a specialized diet, I don't think the numbers would be much different.
  It also could be the case that being scavenging omnivores is a strong precursor to becoming intelligent. If your species is on the rise in terms of intelligence, you're probably using that to expand your food sources wide and far.
  
  For mammals we are, sure, but there's loads of things that'd kill humans that other animals chow down on perfectly happily, especially when it comes to microorganisms, mushrooms and the rotting things they're often found in/around
  I don't think scavenging is right also given that humans used to mainly pick fresh fruits and persistence hunt, both of which are very fresh food which is not overlooked or left by others... Given the fact we picked fresh fruits and hunted for fresh meat, being resistant to berry and fruit based poisons was more important than microorganism based ones, so it makes a lot of sense that so many of the non-intoxicating poisons we like are from fruits and berries
  
  I know it's just a typo, but the image "alients" conjured in my head is pretty funny. I have less than zero artistic talent or I'd share it with you all. Hopefully the mental image is enough.
- If we were the aliens and came across two worlds inhabited by intelligent life I would probably be more weirded out by the one where nobody uses any mind altering substance like caffeine that are poisonous to other animals.

Sometimes, when a fruit or seed isn't toxic enough for our taste, we make it liquid then make it ferment or age until some of its sugar turns into the deliciously neurotoxic ethanol.
- “Hmm tastes good but could taste a bit closer to death.”

Don't forget...
Yeast: oh man I love sugars so much, I just wish they didn't make me shit so bad.
Humans: dude this stuff is fucking awesome!
- Yeast in sugar is going: I'll just convert this to poison (ethanol) to keep everything away, then whenever I'm hungry I'll break that poison into acid
  Humans: hold my... Wait a minute let's make beer!
  Parrots: tasty tasty poison
  Fruit flies: bonanza!
  
  And if my yeasty poison goes bad, I'll just pour it over some poisonous leaves, I love salad.
  Don't forget to season it with minerals you chipped off a rock in a dried out lake bed.

I evolutionary terms being edible to humans is quite useful.
- It worked for chickens...
  
  Chickens are the most numerous bird on the planet, wheat covers more land area than any other plant.
- Because humans feel encouraged to further protect that plant against pests.
  
  As well as spreading and planting seeds, clearing competing plants, and providing water and nutrients.
- Doubtful. Look what will happen with our bred plants and animals, if humans aren't around anymore.

They just want to propagate. The best chance a plant has to do that is by being tasty or useful to humans so we cultivate them.

TBF, life's objective is to reproduce and keep its genetic materials continuing on. Even if humans propagate and consume said plant because they find it desirable, that is still a success for the plant. So even if it has toxic caffeine or fiery capsaicin to deter some pests and humans find it enjoyable, the plant wins.
- Especially since many of the plants die after 1 year anyway so it's not even like we shorten their lives anyway.

Caffeine is poisonous to us too, so I think it's more accurate to say that humans enjoy the side effects of that particular neurotoxin. It's generally not possible for someone healthy to drink enough coffee to die, but they sell pure caffeine (for research) and even seemingly small amounts of that will kill a person.
- You can buy 200mg pure anhydrous caffeine pills at Walmart for like $5. It's abundant and as safe as coffee if you don't go nuts. The max daily recommended dose is 400mg, anything past that could cause harm
  
  What I had in mind is more like this 25kg bucket. That's enough to kill about 2,000 people, which is actually a lot fewer people than I would have guessed before I looked up the LD50.
  I've never actually seen caffeine in a bucket myself, but I worked in a lab once that had a big plastic jar of it.

Rhubarb: most of me is poison. The rest of me is kind of bitter.
Humans: Hold my pie crust.
- Don't get me wrong, I love rhubarb. But whoever first figured out it was edible must have been desperate.
  
  Strawberry rhubarb :)
- Polk salet, anybody?

- I don't think we even need to do that, just extract the poison shit from the mushrooms and eat them poisonless?
  Or determine what chemical (or combination of chemicals) is causing the delicious flavor, isolate them, and then add them to tofu or some shit.
- Not sure if the article is legit, but there is hope for an antidote: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/worlds-deadliest-mushroom-may-now-have-an-antidote/
- Let's gooo

Is they plant that's made into cocaine in this same category?

Listing the manufacturing steps needed to get cocaine from plant into a wall street trader nose is mind blowing

Step	Chemicals Used
Harvesting Coca Leaves	N/A
Soaking in Solvents	Gasoline, Kerosene, Diesel Fuel, Water
Alkaline Treatment	Sodium Carbonate, Lime
First Filtration	N/A
Acidification (Coca Paste)	Sulfuric Acid
Evaporation	N/A
Further Alkaline Treatment	Ammonia, Sodium Bicarbonate
Solvent Extraction	Ether, Acetone, Kerosene
Precipitation	Hydrochloric Acid
Oxidation (Purification)	Potassium Permanganate
Conversion to Cocaine HCl	Hydrochloric Acid
Drying	N/A
Cutting/Adulteration	Baking Soda, Sugars, Levamisole, etc.

And that doesn't say how many coca leaves it takes. Which is a whole shitload.
I once had coca leaf tea (mate de coca). Obviously a fraction of the strength of cocaine. I did not care for the taste, sort of like damp straw, but the effect was so much better than caffeine. Total alertness without a jittery feeling and it wears off after 3 or 4 hours.
Honestly, if they could do something about the taste, I'd find ways to import it.

Aliens would extract our bile and earwax.
- My precious bodily fluids!!
  
  Rain water and grain alcohol for me

What does anyone have against "u", fucking fuck?
- Americans have been trying to eliminate the letter "u" for centuries.
  
  No u

Poppies kill things?
- Heroin, opium and morphine are derived from poppies. Too much of any narcotic and you die
  
  Yeah but we need to process the shit out of it. Is anything really going to die from eating some raw poppy seeds?
- Onion and leek too btw.

Sooo actually why land mammals can't filter out salt from seawater?
- Erm, if im on a raft im gonna be quoting you so you better be right.
  
  PSA: if you're on a remote island or dysfunctional yet floating ship do not abandon it unless truly necessary - raft will be always more dangerous

Obligatory symbiosis is a sexy, sexy vehicle for propagation.

She looks so familiar, who is this? Is this from Veep?
- Julia-Louis Dreyfuss.
  Elaine from Seinfeld
  Veep
  Some character in the MCU
  
  She was also on SNL.

Hot peppers anyone?

- Nettle tea is also great!

Related post

HFY vibes

What’s the bottom imagine from?
- Veep
  
  Thank you! Watching episode 1 now!
  
  Still my favorite "WTF" line delivery in any film or show.

Isn't the flavour of cocoa also originally a pesticidal chemical lol

Just imagine how many of these were first consumed on a drunken bet.

Colorado River toad: ₍𝄐 ̫͡ 𝄐₎
Humanity: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

yeah ive found that a combo mix of rosemary oil and cinnamon oil works great as a gnat spray
- 95% Alcohol(any kind, ethanol, isopropyl, methanol) is a cheap, highly effective, contact killer. Spray any bug with it and it will die. Either the alcohol kills it from the toxicity or from dehydration because the alcohol cleaned off its protective wax surface.

Completely unrelated but JLD is so freakin' gorgeous in this pic.