Do you actually care about your friend's new baby, vacation abroad or similar life events or are you just being nice?

I don't get all wrapped up in imagining sharing the experience or anything like that, but it's always nice to get a factual update about the other person. And if they have something interesting to say about whatever it is, that's good too.

As i got older, I cared more. I uses to listen politely, then I started to look forward to hearing about my friends and family lives. Now I'm one of those guys who calls to ask for updates. 😆

Yes I do care. The reason i care is because it makes me happy for them as a friend that they're going through or went through an event that brought them joy or enriched their lives somehow.
If it's a coworker then I'm usually doing it to be nice, but also because if you're spending a considerable amount of time with your coworkers each day, you'll probably have a more enjoyable work culture if you get to know your coworkers.

I don't always care about the specific thing very much, but I have learned to recognize when someone wants to share their life experience. And they've chosen to share their life experience with me. It takes a bit of extra effort, in an "Okay, what about any of this interests me, so I can ask questions from that perspective," but I'll always try to find something to say that makes the other person feel appreciated for sharing. Because it's probably not that they want me to "see what they've done" and more that they want to engage on a personal level with another human being.
It's a lot easier for me to support that engagement when I look at the interaction through that lens. I don't always get opportunities to engage like that with other people, and it's probably healthy for me to accept those opportunities when they come.

I care. Some people care more than others. That’s fine.

How good of a friend are we talking? I care about my roommate's new nephew. I know his sister, and we've played D&D with his brother-in-law. The baby is, like, a relevant part of being friends with them. Similarly, if he went on vacation I'd want to hear about how it went, especially if anything interesting happened.
On the other hand some of my coworkers at my last job liked to talk about this kind of stuff, and I didn't really care, but it was nice to have something to talk about while I was setting up a new printer for them, or whatever.
- I don’t feel like it makes much difference whether the person is close to me or not. It’s not that I don’t care about what happens to these people, but a huge part of the topics people generally small talk about are the kinds of mundane things I have almost zero interest in discussing. For example, if something interesting happened to you over the weekend, I assume you’re just going to tell me about it - I would. But I sometimes feel like people expect me to ask about those things, and when I see others do it, I’m often a bit skeptical about whether they’re actually interested or just going through the motions. Thus this thread.
  
  If creating new life and welcoming a new person into your world is "mundane", or exploring new corners of this tiny world that we are confined to is not interesting to you, then you really gotta tell me about the mind-blowing stuff you're doing every day that takes precedence.
  
  Asking questions is how most people show interest. That doesn't mean it's disingenuous. Conversations are not events where people take turns talking at each other, they're back-and-forths.
  On the flip side, have you thought about how disingenuous it can seem when someone says nothing while you talk, and then immediately afterward starts talking about themselves and their life at length? Most people don't just automatically update everyone around them on everything in their lives, that's why people ask questions and show interest.

I care that they care. I'm happy that they're happy. I'm pleased that they took the time to share with me, if even indirectly.

I, for one, absolutely LOVE it when people talk about things that excite them. I ask questions because I want to see them get even more excited or passionate. I would honestly be hurt by someone like the OP, only pretending to be interested, because then with no follow up questions or anything, I would assume the conversation is going nowhere and would probably stop even trying to interact with them.
- I specifically wont pretend to be interested. You'll notice that I'm not - that's why I wont ask in the first place.
  
  I think I'm a bit like you since I do that too. Everyone (even at work) knows that I don't want to see baby pictures and I'm not excited about a baby. I don't think much about having kids but parents usually really really love their kids immediately, even before they are born, and if they are close friend or family then I am ok vibing with that for their sake.
  The only time I've actually felt positively about it is when my best friend told me they were having a baby. It took me a moment but I thought then felt that I was able to be happy because he was happy and his partner (who I also like) is happy, and then it took me a few days of thinking about it that part of me was also picking up on this excitement because I wonder what my best friends kid will be like. And it's only because I care about him and his life a lot. I'm not close to my sister and have never felt those feelings before about babies/parents.

I’ll listen if they want to talk about it, but I’m not going to act interested
Yikes
- Not true. If you go through life being expected to act a certain way all the time that eventually takes a toll. OP is doing right by himself the same way everyone else does when they share things expecting they'll get a narrow and specific reaction from people. If you want to throw around the n word that's as good a place as any.
  
  Yeah.
  I can't be bothered to even pretend to care about the lives of people I claim to care about

Autistic and I don’t care, but I do listen and I try to do it well.

I just use the golden rule: treat others the way you want to be treated. I'm autistic, diagnosed in 2016. One thing I've noticed when hanging out with other autistics: they all want to talk about their special interest, and will go on for hours unhindered, but you can try to make conversation about something they don't care about for 5 minutes and they don't even pay attention. I'm definitely guilty of this, to a degree. I think that's part of having autism. But the next time someone is telling you about something and you find you don't care, consider what it would feel like if you were discussing your special interest with someone and they just acted disinterested the whole time. Doesn't feel good, does it?
It's important to realize that in conversations, most people don't care about topics, they care about the person to whom they're speaking. When you speak to someone, you're signing up to have a conversation with them, not necessarily about something. For example, my fiancee is really into musical theatre, and I'm not. I don't understand any of the terminology, or what even goes into a stage show. But I love her, and if she wants to talk about it, you bet your ass I'm sitting and asking questions because I know I'm going to end up telling her about Black Ops II Zombies lore for like 2 hours straight later. It's not necessarily transactional, it just would be a terrible relationship if I only talked to her about my interests.
There is no social game. Well, probably to some psychopaths somewhere there is. But people ask you questions about things in your life because that is one of the ways people show interest in others. It's nothing to do with gaming the social system - they are interested in talking to you, so they give you opportunities to talk about yourself, your interests, and what you've been doing. Sure, they probably don't "care" about what they're asking about the same way you do, but they're not asking out of some cold, machine like formula that lets them climb up the social ladder - it's just how being social works.
I'll leave you with this thought: being able to listen to and understand the feelings of someone else in a situation you have no attachment to is empathy. Studies on empathy have shown that it is a skill that can be improved, not a static thing that's rationed out to you in a certain amount at birth. One good way to work on empathy is to imagine yourself as the other person. So, the next time someone's telling you about something you don't care about, you could imagine being in their shoes. You may realize that they have something worth caring about after all, and though you may not care as much as they do, you may appreciate what they have to say just a bit more.
EDIT: I've seen the double empathy problem elsewhere in this thread. I would like to point out that empathy is literally all about trying to understand someone in spite of what differences you have. So don't read that and assume there can't be allistic-autistic empathy. Read that and acknowledge that it's harder to empathize with allistics, and try to learn how anyway because that is empathy. Or don't, idk. I've found the double empathy problem to be true in my life, and I've also found that building empathy toward allistics and all the things I don't understand about them has done me a world of good and made it easier for them to empathize with me.

I used to not care.
Now after a few years in a men’s group, I actually care.
I’m a lot happier and mentally healthy than I was before too.
- That's what I found. I thought people were faking because I was cynical. Then I met healthy people and realized it's actually ok to care and I was choosing not to care instead of choosing to care. Do I care all the time, absolutely not. But I'm getting better. I find I enjoy listening to people who are healthy have these conversations while looking at them without the cynicism.
  I started to realize the small talk that a lot of people online complain about is a choice.
- where did you find a men's group? I live in a rural area of the US so most men I meet are proudl ignorant/hateful trump fanatics
- Honestly this is how I met my wife.
  I used to get all preachy about how stupid Star Signs were and how dumb it was to watch heroine movies. But then, I was just tired of feeling so angry. I just started listening and approaching them from an understanding perspective.
  My wife told me that was the only person who ever made her feel heard. and I'm also a lot happier!

Somebody I care about has had an incredible event or experience in their life. Of course I care and want to hear about it.

So I'm in my mid-50s, and I've honestly only come up with genuine lasting interest in my friends' lives in the last few years.
I noticed that I'd get together with friends and they'd say "hey, how did your kid's sportsball tournament go back in July?" What struck me about it is that they cared enough to actually hear what I said, and remember it - not because they have a deep abiding interest in my kid's life, but because they cared about me and the things that were important to me.
And I wasn't repaying the care.
So I've tried to change. When people tell me stuff about their kids or vacation, I make a concerted effort to remember it and remember the significance of it, because the fact that it's important to the people I care about means that to some degree, I care about it as well.

For some stuff I don't care, some other makes me jealous and some other is actually cool to discover/learn (think of some new place to have lunch/dinner or some hobby you didn't know about your friend).
But in general I am with you, and I also feel like most people liking and commenting are playing the social game.
I am not very active in social networks, though...

A baby and a vacation aren't comparable.
Do I "care" about every little detail of their vacation? No, but I'm glad they are happy and had a good time.
People like to talk about their experiences, it's not really a game.

I care, usually not very much, but somewhere above zero. It's good that they actually have something to talk about which therefore gives us something to talk about. Holidays overseas are a bit easier than kids because there's some relatability there but whatever they're talking about it's usually more the person talking about it that's interesting more than the thing. You're already friends, so you already enjoy their insights or way of talking about things and you've probably been there for a fair few of their important life events so it's nice to hear about the latest ones and how that's shaping then today as others shaped them before.
Because I don't have kids and wasn't on their vacation for me there is a natural limit imposed on just how interesting it can be hence saying I don't exactly care a whole lot, but it's usually at least enough to make sharing a beer more satisfying.

I do care. being part of my friends lives gives me meaning.

You care about your baby and your vacation. Being excited to share that with other people is normal, and when you share something you're excited about with other people, it feels good; you get a serotonin boost and relive it in your mind. That process requires two people. It's a social contract. The other person is going to get relatively little out of the situation, but perhaps they get a little nostalgia recounting their own experiences and thinking back to their own kids. You should play along and ask questions because it makes them feel good, and later on, when you're jazzed about something, they might return the favor.
When someone is excited to recount a vacation abroad, it's a learning experience. Where did you go? What did you like? How were the people? What was hard about it? How much did it cost? Assuming you get to travel, it might give you helpful information that will make you more at ease with making your own plans.
Children: When you have them, most people get rewired a little. You go from OH KILL ME NOW, THERE'S A CRYING BABY ON THE PLANE to, ohh god, she must be miserable scared and confused, somebody snuggle that baby. When I see my coworker's baby, I get a wave of feelings/memories from when I cradled my own.
I think I get your frustration, and it echoes my own from years ago. My recommendation is to learn to play social the games. It doesn't take as long as it feels like it will out of your day to act compassionate. Making those connections with people and how those people see you is important. It opens opportunities and can give you comfort and give them greater patience with you when you need them to be patient. You might also find that moving through the motions strengthens your empathy.

I love how half the answers are "Tell me about your vacation, forget the baby." And the other half are "OOOOH A BABY! Who cares about where you went!"

I care. Sometimes it’s a bit boring but I love my friends and sometimes put a little work in to keep the connection.

About a new baby? Yes, show me pictures. Also your new kittens, kitchen, a cake you made, a painting you painted, sure, yes.
Vacation not so much.
But these weaker social connections are so important to life and to society. You can't sort people into friends or strangers, care and don't care. There is a lot of room in between - people you know but aren't close with are most of the people you know. It doesn't matter if you are just following the forms, that's fine. Keep on doing that, be nice.

Do you consider yourself these people's friend?
If you're completely disinterested in their milestones, that sounds more like an acquaintance.
But to your question, yes. I actually care about these things for acquaintances and random people too. There are limits to how much I care but it's not zero.
- This just happened to me today. I was talking with a colleague and recalled that they had just gone on a short trip with their partner. First time away from the kids.
  I asked how it was, I was a couple weeks overdue but they excitedly told me about it. It felt good to ask, did it change my day? Not really that much.
  But this person was excited to share (a few weeks ago) their excitement and anticipation with me. So when I asked how it went, they got a chance to relive it and share with me the results.
  All in all, they cared enough to share, I cared enough to ask and at the end of it, I felt good. I got to share in their excitement and make a person feel heard and valued AND they got to relive the excitement again.
  
  It happens regularly.
  I'd also add that I find everyday stories from real people to be vastly more engaging that the completely unbelievable stories I see on TV.

I think your angle is a bit reductive.
Conversations or interactions generally don't go from 0 to how-dare-you-not-care-about-my-baby instantaneously.
For example, in a cafe, order coffee, I've never met the barista before, they're not going to flop out baby photos and grill me about how much I don't care about their kidlet. They might make casual conversation, how are you, great day, bit tired, newborn up all night, oh I have a newborn too, she's been unwell, yeah ours had HFMD last week, oh that's tough, is she better now, was the fever bad, and so on and so forth. What I'm saying is, it's through the too and fro that you guage how interested someone is in the things that are important to you.
If my sister had a child then she would probably just expect me to care about her new baby because she's family and we see each other every week and the new baby is going to be part of my life for the rest of my life.
Another thing that happens is... people just get excited about things and that's ok too. I became a new father almost a year ago. To me, it's the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. Of course I understand that it's not very amazing to anyone else, but for those first few weeks of course I was excited about it. It would be fine if I were to "overshare" with my barista, but it would also be fine if they were to tell me to keep my baby photos to myself.
- I was thinking about this for a while.
  I'm very short and direct with people. I've gotten more polite, but like if someone starts to ramble, I politely redirect them back to the focus and to stick to time. It's great at work! Every non-essential thing eats into my work hours.
  But I noticed I was doing it with friends too. and I realized how selfish I was becoming to them. Like, I'd cut them off to bring up something I was interested in. And they'd politely listen.
  Over the year, I've gotten better at recognizing that fair exchange of time with friends. They can talk about babies, or life. And I can talk about which Pokemon is acceptable to eat.

Some people truly care, some don’t and some fake it. Nobody is forcing you to care or even fake it. There are just consequences to it if you don’t, some people will think that you are an asshole if you do that and don’t want to associate with you anymore. It’s up to you whether you can live with those consequences or not.
- This is probably the most concise and practical answer in this thread.

No, but I'm depressed most of the time so I don't really care about a lot.

Yes, if friends. Unless they are repeating themselves, I'm going to be interested at least a little. Coworkers, no. I'll be polite and sympathetic but if it is not related to work I am unlikely to be interested and will try to bring the conversation back to work topics or end the conversation as soon as I can without being rude. Randos, maybe but probably not. I've met lots of interesting people and am always kind of interested in hearing about the human experience from anyone who want to share theirs, but really I think I got too old or jaded for that. I avoid interacting with random strangers if its a choice now, and am always at least a little skeptical of whatever bullshit someone I don't know has to say to me. I try not to be rude expressing my disinterest but I will be if it feels appropriate or necessary.

I'm another maybe-autist. I don't care at all about babies or whatever, but a vacation might be interesting. Not if their vacation was just to a resort though.

Yes, I do. Because I care about my friends. I'm eager to share in their excitement over their vacation or adventure. As far as their kids go, I don't really care about a baby, but I do care about their toddlers on up. It's really neat watching another sentient creature develop, who is based off of someone you know and love, and to see what sort of person they turn into.

Very, very, VERY few people actually care about other people's kids. And that interest only goes up slightly when they are related to the child.
Nothing wrong with you feeling that way.
As for vacations, life events, etc., I'm interested in knowing what goes on in my friend's lives... that's kind of what having a friend is about.
BUT... I'm interested in hearing about these things face to face. I couldn't care less if they're just social media spam about what they did with their spouse. That's one reason why I stopped using social media.
- I dunno. I always ask my friends what their kids are up to and am interested to hear. It's usually entertaining or enlightening. I love talking about my kid and most parents are the same way. Tho I have a few friends who don't feel comfortable talking about their kids for various reasons so I don't ask them.
- Totally agree, when it's on social media, I don't care at all about it, just another thing to upvote and scroll on by
  If I'm talking to them, whole different story, because then it's more personable
- I think your characterization is probably somewhat incorrect. I care, and I have seen other parents care. Maybe single childless people don’t care, but this is not always the case.
  I care about other people’s kids. I want them housed, fed, clothed, etc.
  I want my tax dollars to improve other’s lives so they have what they need to be self-actualized human beings.
  I won’t let them get hurt at the playground if I can help it.
  I watch them when they cross the street to make sure they do it safely.
  I have little ones myself and I believe it takes a village. I’m also 37 and a German/US dual national. I was raised to care, and the societal standards for the US are not a one size fits all definition globally. My wife is Latina and her family is friendly to all children and show lots of care. Germans watch out for others’ kids as they walk to school or play on the playground. It’s disappointing to hear that the fake niceness of the US really is fake here but not very surprising. You truly can’t relate to each other. I am glad I’m moving out next year.
  Yes yes. I know this is the internet and kids bad, but I do enjoy when a child smiles or has a small victory. And I enjoy seeing my friend’s children be friends with mine and grow up together.
  TLDR some of us care and love to see pictures and hear about your kids.
  
  I care about other people’s kids. I want them housed, fed, clothed, etc.
  I want my tax dollars to improve other’s lives so they have what they need to be self-actualized human beings.
  I won’t let them get hurt at the playground if I can help it.
  I watch them when they cross the street to make sure they do it safely.
  Oh geeze, yeah, I hope that what I wrote didn't come off as “not caring” about the wellbeing of other people's children, because that's absolutely not what I meant!
  What I mean is that most people don't get excited about when someone else's child just spoke their first word, or took their first step. They really don't, because it's not a milestone that impacts that person's life in any meaningful way.
  When someone sends you baby picture after baby picture, or their kid's school trip photos... nobody actually "cares" about those things. It occupies no space in their head past that brief moment they were told about it. That's what I mean.
  If those things make you happy, there's nothing wrong with that, either!
  Do cute kids put a smile on my face? Of course. But do I care that an acquaintance's child now uses the potty? Not. At. All.

Vacations, you gotta treat like MySpace. Set your top 8, and make sure you choose your top 8 wisely.
8 photos I feel like can easily net you a good 25 minute conversation.
Babies/pets? Show me 1-2 photos. Don't overdo it. You're going to have more photos as time goes on. This isn't a vacation where you have a finite amount of content. You'll show me a photo of your baby being cute. Hey, that's great. We'll talk about it for a few minutes. But we'll also talk about it for a few minutes next week when your baby is going to be cute again. So it's not like I want to spend all day talking about your baby. Your baby is cute, I'm happy for you, but lets move on.

This feels like the wrong framing.
I dunno, I like my friends and them being happy about something tends to make me happy. Do I find every baby/vacation anecdote amazing? Absolutely not but a lot of them have a kernel of funny or just something interesting for me to note.
Also, from a pure reciprocity perspective, don't you enjoy having folks to talk with about things going well in your life even they're maybe not the most unique or compelling things?

Most times, i'm being nice. But I do care about the moments that make my friends happy.

My friend? I care. Randos? Fuck no.

For a real friend? Absolutely! I'll hunt them down. For a coworker or loose acquaintance? I care a little less, but it's still nice to see occasional baby photos and vacation pics.
I can't believe people would fake politeness about this! No wonder we're all so damn lonely. If you really don't care, why not just say that those things bore you? It would probably make for deeper connections with everyone involved. You wouldn't have to waste your time with them, and they wouldn't waste their time with you!
- Drag was socially conditioned to pretend to be interested through years of relatives sharing holiday pictures when drag was small.
  
  I dont know who drag is. Also, I don't really care who drag is.

The framing of this question is interesting. "...or are you just being nice?" Seems to assume that being nice is not a legitimate or authentic way of being, maybe unless it is a means of getting something you want.
A psychiatrist once told me "If I've learned anything over the years, it's that people really do think differently from each other." I can accept this as true but it really boggles my mind sometimes when I think I have caught a glimpse of someone's fundamental assumptions that are so different from mine.
I have met a few people who have said things like "I don't have time for small talk or chitchat, it is meaningless noise to me." I thought to myself "OK, you're not getting invited to my bar-b-que then." Which was probably fine with them. Still, it's hard for me to imagine having that mindset. Maybe when I was a teen it might have been said of me that I was self-absorbed and didn't care about anyone else, but I certainly did care, more than I was able to express.
I occasionally encounter people -some way past their teen years- who have no interest in any of the things that I am into, but want to endlessly info-dump to me about My Little Pony or whatever their special interest is. I listen, not because I am particularly interested in My Little Pony, and not because I am "just being nice." There is another reason, and I don't think of it as transactional or "playing a social game."
If there is any point to my rambling it is that I find the either/or thinking of the question reductionist and over simplified. I think this is one of the aspects of autism that makes it a disorder or disability for some people, because the very rigid black and white thinking can create a lot of frustration when reality doesn't conform to their internal strict rules.
- What's the other reason why you listen to them?
  
  I explained it better in my other comment. In the case of Neighbor Lady, I like her and want to maintain a connection with her, even if I don't have any real intrest in her quilting obsession.
  For other people I don't already know and have a relationship with, it is the practice of developing good affinity with others that is important. The way we treat others is a reflection of the relationship we have with our self. Doesn't it make sense to be kind and open to my own self? I think it does. It follows for me that I should also be kind and open with others. They are not just objects that move around and do things in my environment. My "self" and other "selves" are all fingers of the same hand, to make a funny metaphor. That's the other reason.
- The framing of this question is interesting. “…or are you just being nice?” Seems to assume that being nice is not a legitimate or authentic way of being, maybe unless it is a means of getting something you want.
  What the OP is saying is "do you really care" or are you feigning interest because it is the socially acceptable thing to do? That's what "just being nice" means.
  
  Yes, I get that, but it seems like for some people, possibly OP included, the socially acceptable thing to do is just an empty ritual, without meaning or purpose. That's difficult for me to grasp, because it's not meaningless empty ritual.
  And also it's the either/or aspect of it that I don't like. When my Neighbor Lady starts talking to me about quilting, I really have no interest in quilting, but Neighbor Lady is important to me, I like her and I want to maintain a relationship with her. I don't feign intrest in quilting, but because I care about Neighbor Lady i do want to hear what she has to say. So it's not a binary thing like deep fascination with quilting / just being polite but not actually giving a shit.
  I suppose I could have used less words to express that in my first post.

Yes and no. For close friends, family, and long time coworkers. I care that you had a good trip, that mom and baby are healthy, and would not mind a few photos. But that's it. I don't need a 500 page travel album or daily baby pics.

I care about my friends. I care about their goals, concerns, trials, joys, and more. I listen and I dig deeper. If I don't care about what they did, I ask questions that reveal how it made them feel.
Now that's a lot of emotional labor, but for a select few confidants, I am more than happy to that work. It bonds us and makes each other feel seen and connected.

I'm interested in parts of the trip. Mainly the foods and food markets. What they ate where. If they want to tell me about the views or the guy at that shop who said something, I'll feign interest.
Anyone who has been on a "cruise holiday" eats on the ship, and the food may be good but it isn't exciting or too exotic. I want to know how you ate a sausage and found out later it was an earthworm but it was really nice because they grilled it with lime and stuff and you couldn't tell.

If a friend goes on an international trip and takes five hundred photos, I'd look at them all.
I have no friends with babies. Hypothetically I wouldn't care about seeing the baby except for making the parent feel better. I care about kids but not until they're old enough to be interesting, and babies aren't.

I like seeing my friends happy. I like talking about my cats.

I care about my friends, and if they want to talk about it, I'm happy to listen.
Depending on what the thing is (eg, potential new person) they can be inherently interesting too.

I like stories of babies if they're not complaints. Vacation I basically think of it as ideas for my next vacation where you can ask stuff like "how was public transport?" or whatever

Well I look at it like this: I don't really care that much personally about my friends mundane things, but I do care about mine. I think that there isn't a reason for them to care about my mundane things, but I enjoy having my mundane things listened to. I like that reciprocity, so I made an effort to listen and ask questions that show I'm engaged in the conversation. I try to express empathy by saying when a situation sounds tough or fun. I have noticed that "showing up" for the conversation is what our friends want a lot of the time, and that's what we want as well a lot of the time. I have also noticed that after a few sessions of "showing up", I can actually get engaged and move beyond just showing up. I have a buddy who has a sick grandma, and the first few mentions of her I kinda had the same thoughts, like, I don't care about this lady, why should I listen. I showed up anyways and it led to some interesting conversation about the nature of mental illness because she was remembering very vivid details from her past and that led to some interesting convos about all that. I think that being able to find the enjoyment in a small talk conversation is definitely a skill, but it is rewarding in both your interpersonal relationships and in learning new things through unexpected exposure to new concepts. As a fellow autist, I'm pretty information driven, but neurotypical people, I think, are more feelings driven. The small talk stuff is super important to them and they put that up front first, I guess to judge your character? I'm not sure why, but I have noticed better interactions after I have engaged in small talk. It really is a trainable skill and when you get good at small talk, it can be enjoyable!
- The nature of my job is that I often listen to people tell me their life story while I’m replacing their kitchen faucet. It’s not that I can’t do small talk - I just find most of the topics incredibly uninteresting. Like I said earlier, I know how to play the game, I just find it mind-numbingly boring.
  This goes both ways, though. I’m acutely aware that most people aren’t interested in the things I’m most passionate about, so I don’t bring those up either. But when I do meet someone with similar interests, I could talk for hours. Those conversations are rarely about people or events - mostly about ideas.
  
  Before you even mentioned autism I was thinking "I wonder if they might be autistic", so with that in mind you may want to look up the double empathy problem. Basically, multiple studies have shown that autistic people find it easier to empathise with other autistic people and harder to empathise with allistic (non-autistic) people, whilst the exact opposite is true for allistic people. Importantly, contrary to what many previously believed, there is no difference in the overall level of empathy, it's more a matter of compatibility.
  The point being, that the people in this thread who have implied that you lack empathy are probably wrong, and your above comment would seem to agree with this.

I care for up to 10-15 minutes per topic.
If it turns into an hour long presentation, my level of caring drops off significantly.

Friends? Sure.
Coworkers? No.

there is an important distinction between real friends, as in people who went through significant part of your life together with you, and your 500 "friends" on facebook...

When it's about good friends, then yes, I care a lot.

Hmm. Being interested in what is going on in your friends or loved ones life is a way of caring about a person. Do you like to share any details about your life at all with friends or family? What connects you to these people? Or is it you just don't care about these parts of others lives?
I wouldn't call it dishonest it would call it caring for another human being doing things you don't care for for another person builds closeness, familiarity, and tightens bonds. Knowing or listening to details of other people's lifes just deepens lore and fills out things that are happening in someone's life.
You are probably a bit autistic. As you see the world a bit as black and white and don't understand why you do a thing you dont like. That or you don't actually care about these other people and you are narcissistic and only using these people. The world is gray.

For most people, yes.
For my best friend, no. The reason is that he and his wife really wanted a kid, and they got everything together and had one. He is the happiest new father I've ever seen.
My wife and I don't want kids, and have taken permanent action to make sure we don't. In part, this is because we understand the responsibility that would be carried for years. We have other things we want to do with our lives. So for someone else to have full knowledge of that responsibility and embrace it gets respect from me.

I am on the spectrum. And no, i don't. And I don't think of it as being an asshole, I simply don't care about it because it just is something unimportant. I mean, if something bad happened to them, I'll be the first one to ask, but if they are telling me how nice was their trip it's like... well, yeah? It's expected. You make a trip to have a good time, so of course you had a good time.
I guess i consider it innecessary because is the expected outcome.
With that said, I will listen to what they say and remember it, but that doesn't mean I find it interesting unless there is something remarkable about it.
- Do you think everyone you talk to enjoys every aspect of the things you have to talk about? Do you appreciate that they listen?
  
  Honestly, I am not very talkative. I am bad at small talk so I rarely speak unless asked directly about something specific.
  Because of this, I believe that if someone asks me about something, it's because they are interested in what I have to say about it.
  To answer your question, I will not go to tell someone about my last trip unless they ask me about it because I consider that it's not that interesting to the others if (like I do) they are not asking about it.

Sure, I was always interested to see where everyone was traveling. That's what I had Facebook for until it turned to shit.
I don't have to hear anything about babies though.

I find it interesting to hear about, was just talking to a somewhat stranger about his holiday today.

I am autistic, and honestly OP, I feel very similar. But based on the comments, I'm starting to think that we're both narcissists haha
I have this particular issue with a house mate who is self-obsessed and wants to do nothing but brag about his charisma and intelligence to anyone who dares come downstairs for a split second. He'll go on for hours, and re-tell everything if someone else comes in. He kind of caricature-ises this whole experience for me. He has trapped me in a convo for so long that I've had evening plans ruined, even after telling him multiple times that I've got to go. No point pretending with him, you literally have to just ignore his existence and leave. Grim.
With friends and family? It depends.
For friends, I care if they're very close (1 of a handful of people), not because of the topic itself. What I'm really listening out for is how they have been affected by the experience.
For more distant friends, acquaintances, colleagues... generally no.

Even if you don't care, it's probably a good idea to at least pay attention to the announcement of a new baby, because this is a new person, who will be a significant influence on their life and may have some impact on your own. Later on, it's considered polite to at least ask "and how's (name of spouse) and (name of child or children, or you can say "the kids"). One isn't expected to remember every detail, but at least acknowledge they exist.