Remote surgery performed on a pig 9,000 km away using a game controller

Finally, an entire generation's skillset will be put to good use.

Scientists have hailed the decision to remotely augment the swine with breast implants as being "as historic of a leap forward in technology as it is a remarkably questionable abuse of modern medicine."

To the researchers' credit, the pig later received a promotion and unexpected bonus even though the sleazy district manager recently insisted that there "weren't enough funds for raises this year."

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